


Brave New World

by Ultra



Series: Her Bodyguard/Brave New World [2]
Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Awkward Conversations, BAMF River, Canon Rewrite, Crew as Family, Dancing, Drama, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fights, Gen, Gun Violence, Kissing, Power Dynamics, Protectiveness, Romance, Secrets, Sequel, Sex, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2019-08-08 12:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 57,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: On the run from both the Tams and the Alliance, River and Jayne, plus Simon too, have boarded Serenity at Persephone and are now off into the black, hoping to find a new place in the 'verse to call home. Maybe they are destined to stay aboard the Firefly for keeps, but life won't be easy, even if they are accepted amongst the crew.





	1. Chapter 1

Jayne Cobb weren’t right sure what to make of Captain Malcolm Reynolds. Truth to tell, he’d only known the man all of a half hour or less, but Jayne did have a habit of sizing people up fast and taking a quick first impression. He come off as dumb, the mercenary turned bodyguard was all aware of that, but reading folk, deciding what side of the line they sat on, that he did pretty gorram well. Reynolds wasn’t quite so straight-forward to figure.

Sure’n the moment he heard that Mal fought in the war, Jayne knew he and his new family would be safe aboard this here Firefly. Wasn’t part of the fighting himself, but he knew all about it, the Battle of Serenity for which this ship was named. Mal had been a soldier, his second too, he reckoned from the way she was, her steady walk, her manner, her calling the Captain ‘sir’. Yeah, they fought that war together and suffered more than some.

‘Course, as much as Jayne was sure these folks was more Browncoats than Purple bellies, he still weren’t all too comfortable ‘bout the way he was being looked at. Wasn’t like he didn’t understand why folks thought him and the Tams made a weird bunch, but that didn’t ought to matter to a person he was paying coin to for a ride out to the rim.

“Not listening,” murmured River from beneath Jayne’s arm then. “Rules are important to the Captain,” she added with a look he was more used to seeing on a mother’s face.

Jayne rolled his eyes at her being so snippy. Ain’t got a reason to be that way, but she did it all the same. He couldn’t blame her. She was looking for a place to be safe and the little woman figured such a place was here. He trusted her intuition for that stuff more than his own, which was something of a big deal for a man like Jayne Cobb. He’d got by on his own instincts for years enough. Lettin’ some other person take over from time to time didn’t come natural. Somehow though, caring for River, loving her even, that come just as easy as breathing in and out.

“So now we got all that covered, you folks can go about your business, get yourselves settled in.” Mal almost smiled, though somehow it didn’t seem to come out right.

Simon noticed and frowned a little. He and Jayne were putting all their trust in this ship and its crew on a feeling his sister was getting. It hardly seemed sensible on the surface, and yet, the young doctor had no better way to judge right now. River did seem to have a good sense for danger and even betrayal since her time at the Academy. For all the damage done to her, that heightened sense was at least a useful silver lining in their situation.

The smile on his mei mei’s face gave Simon hope. If she could find even a moment’s happiness amongst the craziness of their current circumstances then he was glad of it. There was no telling how long it might last before the next wave of panic, danger, and horror came their way.

“He seems... reasonable,” said Simon after the Captain had walked away, leaving his four passengers behind.

“Yes, indeed,” agreed the Shepherd stood across the galley from him. “Just perhaps not a people person.” He smiled.

“She thinks he’ll be a good Daddy,” River said softly, turning further into Jayne’s embrace, even as he laughed at her words.

The Shepherd, whose name Simon recalled as Book, looked understandably confused.

“It’s, er... it’s an expression,” the young doctor lied badly, running a hand back through his hair. “We should really go and get settled into our rooms,” he added quickly, ushering his sister and her bodyguard-turned-lover out into the hallway.

Book watched them go, still frowning some. Those three were an odd bunch and no mistake. From what he had been told at their introduction, the younger man and the girl were brother and sister. Though the other man appeared to be easily old enough to have fathered the both, he was in fact River’s romantic partner. Of course, all manner of people made attachments, even married, far outside their usual or expected age range, outside their own class too. What really had Book puzzled was not so much the distinct opposites between River and Jayne, but moreover that Simon was here with them. He could hardly be considered chaperone or protector against such a bulk of a man as his sister’s lover, and must surely approve the union, but then, why be here?

A man such as Book knew it was not his place to judge. After all, he had his reasons for being out here in the black, on a ship bound for the middle of nowhere. He would hardly be willing to share his life’s story too easily, and therefore would not dream of questioning his fellow passengers for their own tale. Perhaps it was best if he kept himself to himself and afforded them the same courtesy.

Down the hall those self same folks were getting themselves acquainted with their new living quarters. Simon was unpacking his meagre possessions in one room, whilst across the hall, Jayne did the same. River was stood by the door peering out, when suddenly she spoke.

“Doesn’t like us,” she said softly, catching her lover’s attention.

“Who, the captain?” he checked, “Doesn’t matter none to me if’n he don’t.”

“No.” River shook her head, turning into the room to face him. “Man of God. Thinks we are strange, not to be trusted.”

Jayne weren’t altogether sure what to make of that. Seemed to him Shepherd Book weren’t gonna cause no trouble for ‘em, whether he approved of their being here or not. Preachers and such weren’t supposed to judge, and yet Jayne had often found some did so more than any other folks ever dared to. Maybe it didn’t sit right with the fella that he and River was sexin’ when they wasn’t wed nor nothin’. Maybe it was just that he was old enough to be her Daddy. Jayne weren’t much fussed about either thing, truth be known.

“Well, could be we all ain’t around here long, anyhow,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and gesturing for River to come on over and join him.

“She doesn’t care.” His little woman sighed, gladly putting herself in his lap. “River, Jayne, and Simon. Everyone accounted for, present and correct.” She smiled. “Home is where we all are.”

“Got that right.” Her lover nodded once, glad enough to kiss her now her big brother was out of the way.

This trip got a might more complicated when River’s precious guh-guh decided to come along for the ride. Jayne didn’t mind the boy so much, but he was gonna be a gorram problem he didn’t learn to act like a normal person, ‘stead of the prissy piece of nothin’ he’d been back on Osiris. This here was the real world and he was gonna have to get tough or die. Jayne couldn’t always be watching his back as well as River’s and his own. ‘Course Simon was a ways away from Jayne’s mind right now as his little woman kissed away any worries he was having.

“There a lock on that door you was playing with before?” he asked her with a dirty grin.

River’s laughter carried all the way down the corridor, even after she got the door closed and secured. Jayne made her so happy, so safe, but he didn’t see as she did that their future was bound here. Jayne-man had not been amenable when she tried to make him see their own destiny together before he was well-prepared for it, she recalled. Besides, telling him would spoil the surprise, so River kept her silence for now. There was other fun to be had behind closed doors.

* * *

“You don’t think it a might strange?” asked Zoe as she followed Mal towards the bridge.

These new folks just didn’t sit right with her, or at least their situation didn’t. They were cagey at best about how they came to be out here in the black like this, a couple that hardly appeared suited, and the girl's nervous looking brother. Weren’t exactly normal.

“I surely do,” the Captain agreed with his second in her assessment. “But ain’t my place to question why folks live as they do,” he said, shrugging it off as no big deal. “They pay their coin, they take their trip. No harm, no foul to me.”

They had reached the bridge by now. Wash had just got done plugging in the co-ordinates to the nav computer to take them over to Whitefall. He didn’t exactly agree with the Captain’s plan when it came to dealing with Patience, the woman who shot him last time. Still, wasn’t a pilot’s place to argue, just to take the crew where they needed to go, along the route least likely to allow them to see any other living being, and then on to Beaumont to drop off all the fun and wacky passengers.

Wash turned around from his consoles when he heard his wife’s voice reply to Mal.

“Still find ‘em strange.” She shook her head. “The big guy’s crass and dumb as a back-birth, but the other two? They’re almost as fanciful as the folks Inara deals with.”

“Ooh, did we get a two for one on the passengers?” asked Wash with over-done child-like glee. “A fare for us and clients for our resident Ambassador all rolled into one?” he checked, making a rolling motion with his hands.

Mal looked sideways at him with his patented Captainy glare.  
“That’s not how it works here,” he told the pilot what he was all aware he already knew. “Doesn’t matter to me if those folks are inbred sheep farmers nor the Royal family of all Londinium,” he told Zoe then. “Fact is they’re paying a fare and we’re taking them far, far away from Persephone. That’s all I care about.”

“Could I maybe add one other thing to the caring list?” asked Wash then, his eyes fixed on the console that flashed and buzzed too suddenly. “You might wanna give Kaylee a yell,” he said with just a hint of panic in his voice. “Something is not right here.”


	2. Chapter 2

Simon Tam was not altogether comfortable. There might be a multitude of reasons for his feeling uneasy, but chief among them involved his sitting in a room across the hall from where his sister was being ravished by her lover.

It wasn’t that Simon expected River to never grow up, he just hadn’t seen it coming quite so quickly. Before the Academy, she had very definitely been no more than a kid. Her condition since then being what it was, she could still be entirely child-like at times, at least when she was at home and he was taking care of her. Her adventures since he left for Ariel, her trip into the black with Jayne Cobb, it had certainly caused Simon’s mei mei to grow up fast. Now she was eighteen and a woman in all kinds of ways that a brother never needed nor wanted to think on. Of course, River’s giggling and moaning from the next room meant it was very difficult to ignore.

“No, no, no,” the young doctor intoned as he got up from the edge of his bed and made for the door.

He muttered to himself as he locked said door behind him and hurried off down the hallway. Any sound was better than what he was hearing right now, any sound at all! It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jayne with his sister. Though at times it might seem that River had no control over her own mind or actions, Simon was certain enough that her being tied to her bodyguard was by choice, not by coercion. There was such a clarity in her eyes when she first explained her love for the man called Jayne, Simon never once doubted it. Though he had never heard the literal words from the man himself, it was also clear to Simon that Jayne cared a great deal for River. He would hardly have risked his life so many times over just for the sake of sex or money. No man could be so desperate or so foolish.

The rest of Simon’s uneasiness came from his being a veritable fugitive now. It was his choice, some might say, but he didn’t see it that way. When it came to ensuring the safety of his sister, Simon saw no choice at all. Besides which, his only other real option was to stay in society as the son of cold-hearted parents who would forsake their only daughter’s mind to the Alliance. He could not be seen to condone that, he simply wouldn’t do it, and so here he was.

“Here I am,” he said to himself, turning a small circle in the softly furnished area behind the galley.

Wandering around too much would doubtless get him into trouble with the Captain, who had expressed a distinct wish for passengers to remain in their rooms for the time being. Had it not been unbearable there, he might’ve complied. Now he was out in the open space between rooms and unsure where to go for the best.

“Hey there, Dr Tam,” said a voice, making him spin around so fast he almost lost his balance completely.

“Hello,” he greeted the young mechanic politely. “Um, you’re Kaylee?” he checked.

“That’s me,” she confirmed, grinning big, perhaps just because he got her name right, though Simon was sure she had that same wide smile on her face from the moment he met her on the ramp. “You need something, Doctor?” she asked him then, at which he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You should really call me Simon,” he told her gently. “I’m not exactly a doctor anymore.”

The smile fell from his face as he said it, and Kaylee couldn’t fail to notice. How a person stopped being a doctor just like that, she couldn’t understand. Unless of course he’d been fired from his job. She figured it was best not to dwell on that since asking about it might just make Simon mad or upset. Those were the very last things she wanted.

“So, Simon,” she said purposefully. “How’d you like Serenity so far?”

“Uh, well, I don’t really know much about ships,” he admitted awkwardly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. “But she seems like a fine vessel.”

“Oh, she’s the finest Firefly you’ll ever sail on,” the mechanic readily agreed, sliding a hand gently down the nearest wall. “Keep her running just the best I can, with what supplies we got anyhow.”

“You must be very knowledgeable in the art of mechanics,” said Simon, polite and complimentary as his breeding caused him to be.

That was not to say that his words were untrue, or that he didn’t mean them. On the contrary, he couldn’t imagine ever understanding how a ship’s engine functioned at all, and here was this pretty young woman who knew it all.

“I ain’t so smart.” She blushed prettily, eyes dipping to the floor. “I mean, I just fix machines. You fix people, bein’ a doctor and all,” she reminded him, hands in her overall pockets as she shifted in place. “I could never be that smart.”

“It really isn’t so different, I suppose.” Simon shrugged. “I mean, the inner workings of any being, be they mammal or mechanical must be-”

“Kaylee!”

The yell came so suddenly into the middle of what Simon was saying, he was quite startled. Looking left and right for the source of the voice, he found no-one there at all. It only made sense when the mechanic before him stepped towards the wall and hit the button on what had to be a comm unit.

“Right here, Captain,” she said into the box.

“Well, I need you to be right here on the bridge,” Mal’s voice told her sharply. “So get your pigu to moving, mei mei.”

Kaylee promised to be right there and then keyed off the comm. She turned apologetic eyes on Simon.

“Looks like I gotta go,” she said with genuine regret. “But if you wanted something interesting to do, you could go get the Shepherd and start to work on dinner?” she suggested sweetly. “Sure’n everybody would be glad of the meal, unless you had something else to do?”

“No, I could try my hand at food prep,” he agreed, wandering off toward’s Book’s room.

Anything if it meant he would be far away from River and Jayne’s activities!

Of course, the couple themselves were completely oblivious to any uncomfortableness they might have been causing. Their passion duly spent, they were now lying in their bed, body’s still entwined, contemplating their new situation.

For River, this ship already felt like home. She ought to find that strange, she supposed, that such a new place could make her so comfortable, so fast. She wondered though, if it had so much to do with Serenity as it did the people here, and the freedom such a ship represented.

Here was Jayne to love and protect her, and Simon to always care. They were far, far away from those that would harm her, the parents that gave her away, the evil creatures that played with her fragile mind. River shuddered at the very thought of it all, her body shaking against Jayne’s own so he could not fail to notice.

“Hey, now,” he said, shifting to see her face. “What’s goin’ on, little woman?” he checked, looking into her big brown eyes and hating to see pain, however brief.

“She... I remember bad things,” she said carefully, forcing herself to concentrate on the reality of the present and not the confused delusions of the past. “Fine now. Safe and warm.” She sighed, curling further into her lover’s embrace.

“Always safe with me, bao bei. Y’know that,” he reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

Of course she knew it was true, always and forever. River had never felt as truly settled as she did with Jayne. He was the most unlikely match for her, she was aware of that, but it didn’t matter. Her head pillowed on his chest and his hand running gently over her hair, this was where she needed to be, where she would always wish to be, she was sure. Still there was a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that would not quite let her be. All should be well now, she was certain, but there was something... something...

River fell asleep, still wondering on the tingling sensation somewhere inside her mind. Jayne’s arms around her kept the nightmares down to a dull roar, but always there was a shadow passing through every happy scene her subconscious might picture. She hoped it would fade away if she tried her best not to focus on it. Unfortunately, River was a genius, and knew quite well that it wouldn’t really work.

* * *

“If there is something wrong, it ain’t here,” said Kaylee as she rolled back out from under the bridge console on her trolley. “All present and correct,” she confirmed.

Wash ran a hand back through his hair and checked over his control panel one more time. If Kaylee said nothing was awry with it, he ought to believe her, and yet something was distinctly wrong. No matter what he tried to do with regards to the course they had plotted, however many times he re-keyed the numbers into the nav comp, they were veering off.

The problem was not in the engine room, Kaylee was positive of that. Next place to check had been the bridge itself, and yet the only areas to look had been investigated without success. It was making Mal twitchy, almost literally in fact. Of course, he had every reason to be, he hoped Wash and Kaylee could figure out what was up, he certainly wouldn’t be able to. A good Captain he may be, but engineering and mechanics weren’t his strong suit.

“I employ the two o’ you for a reason,” he said snippily. “Now best you get to thinkin’ what else the problem could be here or... well, when we all crash and die, it’s gonna be your gorram fault.”

Kaylee would like to think he was joking, even though she kind of knew that what he said was true. The fact was they could be veering into the path of an oncoming ship, a planet, an asteroid field. Serenity couldn’t survive that, not even a little. She wracked her brains for what could possible be wrong that they didn’t think of yet, eyes going back to the console. If there was nothing there and nothing in the engine itself...

“D’un yi shia...” she said suddenly. “Outside the ship. Not inside amongst the workings, nobody would’ve had the chance to sabotage that.”

“’Cept our new passengers, maybe?” said Zoe with a look.

“You and the Captain was watching them the whole time,” Kaylee argued. “But when we was parked up on Persephone, who’s to say somebody wasn’t anywhere around, even under Serenity?”

“Ta ma de! You could be right!” said Wash, reaching for the set of switches that would fire up the outboard scanners.

If anything was somehow attached to the ship, he ought to know in the next five to ten minutes. Hopefully, that would be soon enough.

Attention was fast taken from the scanner when a scream went up from the ‘verse only knew where, travelling the length and breadth of the ship with its ferocity. All heads turned to look, each person knowing Inara wouldn’t ever make such a din. That only left one option - River.


	3. Chapter 3

Mal’s first reaction on hearing his young passenger scream was to run towards the sound, pistol drawn. Not that he understood just exactly what would be happenin’ to the girl. Apart from the folks who got on this boat with her, there was only the Shepherd and Inara for her to come across, and neither of them seemed likely to do her harm at all. ‘Course he might wondered more about a pretty young thing like her partnering a big galoot as the ape that came aboard with her, but her brother was there too, and she seemed all kinds o’ happy and comfortable with her choice.

“No, no, no, no...” her voice intoning the negative over and over suggested she weren’t in any way happy anymore.

Mal backed up against the wall a moment then swung in through the door of Jayne and River’s room in full attack mode. He thought he had been ready for just about anything - he was wrong.

“Da shiong la se la ch’wohn tian!” he swore colourfully when he realised River was gorram naked as a jaybird and in his line of sight.

Spinning back around to face the other way, Zoe didn’t quite know what to make of the whole thing. She had gone after the Captain to play back up, but a peek over Mal’s shoulder brought a smile to her lips.

“Oh,” she said quietly. “We surely interrupted something private...” she began to say, stopping short and frowning when River screamed again.

That weren’t no happy ‘chase me, spank me’ kind of yelling she was doing. She was genuine scared, her face twisted in horror as she glanced out the door. Jayne looked as if somebody had struck him full in the face. Maybe they had, though River hardly looked tough enough. Zoe watched him scramble to get up off the bed and rush to River with a blanket to cover her, only wearing undershorts his ownself. Both the captain and his second lowered their weapons and watched the awkward scene with confusion.

“Come on, bao bei,” Jayne was saying as he held River’s back tight against his chest, trying to stop her arms flayling. “’S’alright now. Nothin’ scary here. If’n there was, I wouldn’t let it hurt ya, remember?”

Zoe was surprised by how kind and soft his voice was now. When they came aboard just a short while before, he seemed fierce and crass. How he and River came to be a pair, with her brother’s consent no less, she hadn’t an idea. Now at least she was seeing a caring side of the over-sized brute she had assumed Jayne Cobb to be. He sure had a way of calming River down from whatever state she had gotten herself into. Question to be answered next was what got her into such a state o’ being in the first place. It was the Captain that asked that question.

“Think maybe you got some explainin’ to do to me,” he said, looking to Jayne who turned his head to meet Mal’s steely gaze. “Somethin’ ain’t altogether right here, I’m guessin’.”

“You’re not wrong,” said Simon from behind the pair who swivelled to see him stood there. “And we can explain...”

A grunt from Jayne proved he weren’t happy with that plan. Still, he was glad to have River quiet in his arms now. She was still muttering some but she’d stopped striking out and screaming at least.

“What choice do we have, Jayne?” asked her brother as he glared still, Mal and Zoe looking between the two as if in the centre of a ping pong match.

“No choices. All out of options,” said River then, eerily calm as she slowly turned her head.

Peering at Mal specifically from behind a curtain of hair so dark. The Captain would’ve shuddered with fear were he a lesser man.

“What’s that now, little one?” he prompted when she continued to stare.

“No time, no choices,” she repeated, seconds before the comm buzzed in the hall.

Zoe went to answer it, not sure whether she was glad or the other thing when she heard her husband speak.

“We found the problem,” he explained. “We’ve been bugged.”

“But we can get it off,” said Mal as he hurried over to speak “Wash, Kaylee! You get this thing off my boat, dong ma?” he snapped.

“Mightn’t be so easy, Cap’n,” said Kaylee with a shake in her voice Mal didn’t much care for. “And that bug ain’t listenin’ in. It’s sending out a signal, and we don’t know to who.”

* * *

Mal was not a happy man. Those that knew him a long time and worked aboard Serenity knew it easy, but there was no mistaking the situation even if you was one of the passengers brought aboard this very day. Trouble had been brought to the ship Malcolm Reynolds called home and he didn’t take kindly to that. Now all were assembled in the galley, save for Wash who listened in from the bridge, still trying as he was to scramble whatever signal was being sent from the bug attached to the underside of Serenity. The crew were sat around the table, curious to hear a tale to be told by a doctor named Simon and his kin who were stood before them now. Mal faced the boy with his arms folded across his chest, his gun in plain view at his hip.

“I trust my crew, as far as a man can anyhow, and since this trouble began with the picking up of you strange folks... To speak plain, my patience is bein’ all kinds of tried today, and you folks don’t know me, but the first lesson you’re gonna learn is patience ain’t something I have in all abundance,” said Mal, face stern. “You was gonna tell me a tale a while back, I think now would be as good a time as any for me to hear it.”

“We understand, Captain,” said Simon, nodding solemnly. “And please believe me, we are not trying to deceive you. The names we gave you are our own, and we’re not looking for trouble.”

“Always do seem to find some though,” said Jayne gruffly.

River immediately shushed him and though he grunted he didn’t seem to mind all that much. Their relationship sure did have an oddness about it, and that was one of many things Mal was hoping to have explained by the good doctor.

“Um, I suppose I should start from the beginning. My sister, River, she is... gifted,” he explained, shifting in place, mindful of his audience who all eyed him with suspicion yet, not that he could blame them.

He did his best to put into words how River had come to be a student at the Academy and then about her leaving that place. He spoke in vagaries not only to keep the crew from knowing all, but moreover to ensure that his sister did not become any more distressed than was necessary. Jayne usually did a good job of calming her, but River would never be anything but unpredictable. She had been somewhat that way even before whatever the Alliance fiends did to her mind.

“And so you see, Jayne became River’s bodyguard,” he said, clearing his throat and going on with the story. “The particulars of how their relationship moved on to what you see now is really not my tale to tell, but he was her protector when I couldn’t be, and their affection for each other soon became more,” he explained awkwardly, running a hand over his face. “When our parents began speaking of sending River back to the Academy, Jayne did the only thing he could, he took River and ran. I was away, working at a hospital on Ariel. They had been gone more than a week before I ever knew what had happened, and two before I was afforded a chance to follow. I found them and we headed for the docks on Persephone together, which is how we came to board this ship.”

“Mighty fine tale to tell, Doc, but I think we might be missin’ a few important details.”

Simon sighed, knowing the Captain was right and yet uneasy about explaining further. His eyes were to the floor when he felt River’s presence beside him, her hand on his arm like comfort.

“She is gifted; also damaged,” she explained herself, swallowing hard and looking more than a little green when Simon glanced her way. “Needles and pins... the darkness is not her own,” she said, fingers of her free hand walking up into her hair and tangling there as her eyes lost focus.

Jayne was by her in a second, a large hand upon her shoulder seeming to bring instant calm somehow.

“Them Alliance folks, they did a number on my bao-bei’s brain,” he told the crew. “She was smart enough before, from what I figure, but now she... she see’s stuff, knows things.”

“It’s beyond intuition,” Simon agreed, “it’s as if-”

“She’s a Reader,” said Mal without a moment’s pause as everything fell into place.

“Psychic?” asked Zoe, looking bemused by the very idea. “Is that possible?”

Her question was addressed more to Simon than anyone, being as he was a doctor. Perhaps she really ought to have looked to River herself, but there was something just a might unsettling about the girl yet.

“They’ve definitely altered the way she reacts to things, even the way she perceives... but I’m not... River?” Simon looked to his sister, at a loss as to how to explain her condition, wondering if she could even do so herself.

“She feels, she knows,” she said, shivering as if suddenly cold. “When bad things are coming, and the spiders crawl in. When people are good... like reading books behind their eyes.”

Her gaze came up to meet Mal’s own, even as Jayne pulled her close, concerned for her condition yet. She had quite the episode back in their room not but a half hour before, and though she seemed as cogent as River ever got after that, she was slipping again now, he could see it.

“Alright then,” said Mal at length, nodding his head as he held River’s gaze. “Seems to me that no matter what those guay toh guay nowns did, they ain’t quite done. Most likely culprit for bugging my ship is goin’ to be the gorram Alliance. I’m thinking maybe they ain’t altogether finished with their project.”

“Little woman’s not for takin’,” said Jayne with a growl. “You thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’...” he began, threatening in every possible way.

The shepherd got to his feet, making placating gestures with his hands before violence could erupt.

“I’m sure the Captain wants no harm to come to you or your loved ones, son,” he told Jayne who looked less than convinced.

They hadn’t told the crew everything yet and he hoped Simon didn’t plan to. River wasn’t just potentially psychic, she had other strengths, physical capabilities that the government had also put inside her brain. If’n those aboard knew that, they was definitely off the ship before they could say boo, and Jayne knew how much River wanted to stay, at least for now.

“Mal?” Wash’s voice came over the comm loud and clear. “I tracked the signal.”

The Captain moved to the link and hit the button. “Wash, you tell me plain, who’s behind this?”

“As suspected, Cap’n. Alliance cruiser has a trace on us. It’s also possible they could be using the bug to try to gain control of the ship.”

“Mei yong ma duh tse gu yong!” Mal cursed colourfully, before taking a moment to make a plan. “Alright, we change course. Wash you take us any way you got to, just get us to Whitefall. Kaylee, Zoe, you’re with me. We’re gonna get this gorram bug off my ship.”

* * *

Weren’t in Jayne Cobb’s nature to feel remorse, and he sure’n wasn’t the Reader here at the table right now, but he was getting all kinds of guilty vibes off his little woman and her doctor brother. The three of them had gone and put the crew of this ship in harm’s way after hardly a half a day of being aboard. That didn’t sit well with good folks like the Tam siblings, and though he would deny it to his dying day, Jayne didn’t much care for it either. Most of his reason was River. She had a yen to stay here, he knew it, and though they had vowed to go out to the rim and hide there, he knew as well as she did that being aboard a vessel, constantly on the move, that’d be the better way to stay out of the way of both her folks and them Alliance hwun dahns that screwed up her pretty little brain. Serenity could’ve been a home of a sort. Now they’d be lucky if the Cap’n would let ‘em stay past dinner time.

“We don’t have much, but what we do have is shared equally,” said Inara, smiling kindly a she presented plates of food to the visitors. “Thanks to Shepherd Book, we do at least have a little fresh food to mask the taste of the protein.”

“Thank you,” said Simon, blushing even as he looked at the Companion.

Jayne might’ve smirked at the display if he were in a better mood. As it was, he just wanted to know what the ruttin’ hell was going on so he could protect River and her brother, keep them out of danger like he always swore to.

“Eat up, be strong,” River muttered. “Whitefall’s not a Wonderland.”

“We ain’t stayin’ on Whitefall,” Jayne told her quickly. “If’n Reynolds dumps us there, well, we’ll find our way, but that back water place ain’t worth the stayin’ on. Wouldn’t trust the ol’ witch that runs it anyhow.”

“I’m sure the Captain has no intention of ejecting you from the ship in such a way,” said Book as he joined them at the table. “There is more good in some people than is always immediately apparent.”

“Mebbe so,” Jayne agreed. “But there’s a powerful lot of bad is some folks too.”

“Mal agreed to fly you as far as Beaumonde,” said Inara, daintily sipping her tea. “He may be a lot of other things, but he is a man of his word. You paid your fare and I’m sure he will get you to where you’re going. I assume you have a plan for once you reach your destination?”

Jayne, River, and Simon shared a look that proved that wasn’t at all true. Fugitives couldn’t really make plans, and that was essentially what they had become. In the mind of the Tams elders, River had been kidnapped by Jayne, and they probably saw Simon as having fallen to the same fate. The Alliance wanted back their project, something they had tried to do through fair means first but had now clearly resorted to foul methods. There was no way these three were ever going to be in one place too long. Their lives were now to be spent on the run, perhaps forever.

“Bug’s all taken care of,” said Kaylee cheerfully as she appeared through the door, a large metal object held between her two hands. “Wash n’ me have pulled the plug on it, no more signal. ‘Course now the Alliance know where we is, so we’re runnin’... again,” she noted with a look that was more resigned than anything else.

“I’m sorry we’ve caused so much trouble to you,” Simon apologised fast. “If we had known-”

“You couldn’t have known,” said Book kindly. “The Alliance are a powerful force, with a great many people involved in their ranks. It is sometimes difficult to know who to trust.”

Jayne’s eyes narrowed at the preacher. He hadn’t expected such words from a man of the cloth. Sure’n folks like him were supposed to preach trust and love for all men, and yet Book seemed wary, and perhaps like he knew more than he was letting on. Jayne had a feeling he was best off keeping an eye on the old timer for as long as they was aboard, not that he expected that to be too long.

The clatter of chop sticks against the table took Jayne’s attention. River looked startled by her own movements, her body going stiff in a second, as if she was having some kind of fit, and yet she didn’t move nor scream at all.

“River?” her brother ventured, reaching out to her.

Her hand shot up and grabbed his wrist, eyes opening too wide as they stared into Simon’s own. With a tone to her voice that he had never heard before and never wished to again, she spoke; “They’re coming.”

Before anyone could ask what she meant, Zoe came rushing into the galley, looking oddly flustered for one usually so calm. Inara rose from her seat and Kaylee looked panicked, sure only one thing made sense in the circumstances.

“Everybody to gather in the galley, Cap’n’s orders,” said Zoe solemnly. “We got incoming. It’s Reavers.”


	4. Chapter 4

They were ordered to their respective rooms and bunks, and not a one amongst them argued. Only the Captain, his second, and his pilot were to be on the bridge as they did their best to sail silent and unnoticed past the Reaver ship.

At first, Simon had been confused by the revelation that such creatures were real. In his sheltered life in the Core worlds, he had believed Reavers to be folklore, nothing worse than the monsters of campfire stories. Now to hear that they were not only real but close by, it was terrifying. The look of fear on Jayne’s face was enough to convince the young doctor that there genuinely was a reason to be worried. Never before had he seen his sister’s protector look so haunted. As to River herself, she was almost frighteningly calm now, as if she either knew they would be okay or was resigned to her fate of pain and death. Simon decided not to think too much about it, but went with his sister and Jayne to their room and was locked in with them. If they must suffer and end their days, let them at least be together when the time came.

Book was across the hall, praying hard, whilst Inara retreated to her shuttle. Whether she planned to make her own escape should the worst happened, nobody was sure, through the Captain was heard encouraging her to do so as they all parted ways. Little Kaylee locked herself into her bunk, and Zoe stood at Wash’s side, her hand clasped in his own as he piloted with his free hand. Mal’s eyes were trained on the plexiglass in front of him as the Firefly floated by the Reaver ship, inch by inch, feeling like miles. There was a collective holding of breath throughout the entire craft, all afraid, all just waiting. Past the ship, Serenity flew on, and on, and on. Finally they seemed to be clear and Wash checked the scanner before finally letting out a breath.

“They’re not following,” he said all in a rush. “We’re okay.”

“Thank God,” Zoe muttered, squeezing his hand, feeling Mal’s stance untense behind her.

They made it. This time anyway.

“Okay,” said Mal. “On to Whitefall, as planned.”

“And the passengers?” asked Zoe, turning in time to catch him before he left the bridge.

“Wish I knew, Zoe. Gorram wish I knew.”

* * *

“She is fine! She wants to be of use!” said River firmly, running after Jayne and away from Simon at the same time. “Had enough of gilded cages, he knows that better than most!”

Which one of them she was speaking to was up for debate, but didn’t really matter anyhow. During their forced imprisonment when Serenity passed the Reaver ship, Jayne had thought long and hard about what was to become of them, and put forward the idea to Simon and River that maybe making himself useful would earn them a place aboard the ship. At once, River insisted she wished to do the same, though both the men in her life tried to say she should stay out of the Captain’s way. They worried for her safety, River knew, but they were well aware she was capable of taking care of herself if a fight should break out. Of course, she had only battled with the enemy on one occasion and even she wasn’t sure how it had come to pass. For River, that was not the point.

“River, what if you got hurt?” asked Simon as he gave chase along the walkway towards the stairs.

“He is doctor, he will mend. Body fixes easier than the mind,” she said firmly, grabbing at Jayne when he attempted to hurry away from her.

“Ain’t no use goin’ on, little woman,” he told her as he hit the cargo bay with her still on his heels. “My mind ain’t for changin’, and the Cap’n is more than like not even gonna want me along anyhow.”

“The Captain might if he had a notion what was going on here,” said Mal himself, appearing as if from nowhere in front of his passengers. “Somethin’ I can help you folks with?”

“Assistance for the cause,” said River, pushing herself in front of Jayne, paying no mind to his grumbled protests. “Able-bodied, willing to help.”

“You folks got an idea to help my crew make a deal on Whitefall?” asked Mal, finding the thought just a little confusing.

“Been there once before my ownself,” said Jayne with a look. “T’ain’t altogether hard to get on the wrong side of Patience, and from I hear, you already done that one time too many.”

Mal muttered about his crew speaking out of turn in front of unknowns, and yet he knew it might be useful to have some help on this job. There was really only him and Zoe that were any use with a gun, and this was going to be a tricky situation. A third man would not go amiss, and here was at least one man and one unpredictable young Reader of a woman offering their services. The question was, could he really trust them?

* * *

Walking away from Patience, money in hand was always what Mal intended to do in the end. It took a might longer than a person would’ve hoped to ‘convince’ her and her gang to be reasonable, but a little teamwork that involved the passengers from aboard Serenity sure did make things run just a little smoother than they might’ve been. That said, Mal and Zoe had both been shot. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed, but it weren’t exactly an ideal situation.

“Now brother comes into his own,” said River, falling into step beside the captain and Zoe. “Sew up the holes, make like new.”

“Might be nice to be good as new, but I doubt the Doc is a miracle worker,” said Zoe, rolling her shoulder that ached from another impact, trying not to let a limp show. “You did your part, little one,” she told River with a smile.

“Happy to help,” she replied, making the best curtsey she could whilst in the process of walking.

“Gotta say, they say forewarned is forearmed,” said Mal, “and that does seem to be the truth of it. Knowing who was gonna shoot first and all, couldn’t’ve been more useful to us. Well, ‘cept if you was handy with a gun too.”

River shuddered at the very idea of handling such a weapon. She was not to be used for the shooting and killing of things, though she had a horrible sense of foreboding where such things were concerned. Though she knew she would be useful in a fist fight, and had been before, River left the shooting to Jayne.

“Never a bad thing findin’ out my trigger finger still holds true,” said the man himself as he joined them.

“Glad for your help there, Cobb.” Mal nodded once. “T’was thinkin’-”

His thought remained unfinished as the comms in all their ears buzzed at the same moment, then Wash’s voice could be heard, sounding more than a little agitated.

“Guys, get back here, now!” he told them fast. “It’s those gorram Reavers, they followed us!”

There was cursing aplenty as the group suffered a moment’s collective panic, then began running at top speed, back towards Serenity.

River, as well as those around her, wondered why she had not known, but then she had been distracted by the terror of thinking too much about guns. She was unsure why they frightened her so much, but a darkness bubbled up from deep inside at the very thought of holding such a weapon in her hands. It was distraction enough that she had not felt the ungodly presence that was chasing down their new home. For this moment, she could think of nothing but running across the hot sand, constantly calculating the distance back to Serenity, and whether or not they would make it. Even with her advanced mind crunching the numbers, she couldn’t quite be sure of their fate.

* * *

“Here’s something you can’t do.”

Wash was grinning in spite of the serious situation, calm as anyone ever could be as he yelled to Kaylee, and Serenity’s engines spun on their axis. Pulling a Crazy Ivan was their only real chance of escape and thankfully the manoeuvre went off without a hitch. Whooping and hollering of the joyful kind echoed through the ship as the Reavers own vessel was caught up in the largest possible back draft. Serenity flew freely off into the black, and they were safe again.

“Looks like we got away clean,” said Jayne with a sigh of relief, pulling a strangely serious looking River into his lap. “C’mon now, bao bei. Ain’t gotta worry no more.”

“Always worry. Never ending!” she told him, getting up and rushing from the room.

She nearly bowled over Simon coming the other way, and though he called to ask her what was wrong she didn’t stop.

“She can be alone for five minutes!” she insisted, storming away and out of sight.

Simon considered going after her but instead looked to Jayne for an explanation.

“Ain’t no use asking me, Doc,” he told him, shaking his head. “I guess for all the smarts and such your sister has, she’s still a woman. Still got the same tendency to moods and such.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” said Simon thoughtfully. “Um, I wonder if now might be a good time to speak to the Captain about our fate?” he asked Jayne then. “We seem to have escaped being left on Whitefall, but whether we are still headed on to Beaumonde is unclear.”

“Might be best you go make arrangements, Doc,” said Jayne, scratching his bearded chin. “Ain’t so good with words my ownself. Like as not to say somethin’ I shouldn’t and get us kicked off this here ship. Reckon River wouldn’t mind stayin’ a good while, if’n the Captain’d take us.”

“Yes, I think you might be right, and it might be for the best,” Simon agreed. “If we are constantly moving, there is more chance of us staying out of reach of those that would try to take River away, presuming no more bugs find themselves attached to the ship.”

“Might ask the Cap’n about that in your mighty fine talk you need to have,” Jayne advised. “If the Alliance got any idea we’re here, can only end bad.”

Simon nodded that he understood and then headed off in search of the Captain.

Jayne took a deep breath and decided maybe he ought to go after River, not that he had an idea what to say to her when he found her. Meant well and good what he said to Simon about all women having their moods sometimes, but there never would be anyone quite like his baobei.

A quick search of the ship and he soon found her back towards the engine room. The mechanic must’ve abandoned her post a while, because River was curled up in the hammock that Jayne would guess was Kaylee’s own. She rocked back and forth with her eyes closed, and yet the second Jayne approached, she knew.

“She knows she is a bother to him,” she said sharply, still looking calm and peaceful in spite of her tone. “He doesn’t understand.”

“Can’t say as I ever expect to understand womenfolk anyhow.” Jayne shrugged, leaning in the doorway watching her. “Just ‘cause you and me is... what you and me is, don’t make me any better at havin’ a gorram clue how to talk to ya all the time.”

She smiled at that. “Not all his fault.”

That made Jayne feel better if nothing else, and they both knew it. River felt the waves of both love and relief radiate from him and cover her. It helped her to feel better too.

“Your brother’s gone to see the Cap’n. Ask him about us stayin’ aboard an’ all of that,” he said then. “You want that, don’tcha?”

River’s eyes opened and a wide smile curved her lips. She leapt from the hammock with the grace of a cat and the finesse of the finest ballerina, throwing her arms around Jayne’s neck.

“She is happy, Man-Called-Jayne,” she promised him. “She struggles, but... but I am happy, wherever, if with you.”

It was a rare moment when she managed to say just exactly what she meant using the correct words. Her mind got so jumbled, River often felt she was speaking for someone else rather than herself, but that only made the moments of clarity so much more special, not just for her, but for Jayne too.

“Gonna be alright, little woman,” he told her, pulling her closer and kissing her lips. “Gonna be alright.”


	5. Chapter 5

“I really did not plan on using my medical skills on the two of you, especially not in such quick succession,” said Simon as he did his best to ease the wound in Jayne’s leg.

“Is what it is, doc,” he told him, biting on his lip when the pain spiked some. “Gorramnit! Swear to God, always bites more when the lead comes out than when it goes in.”

“I’m happy to say I wouldn’t know,” said Simon with a tight smile. “This should help though,” he said, giving Jayne a shot of something strong for the pain.

River walked around the medical bay as if she were dancing, sometimes watching Simon work on her lover, sometimes seemingly not looking at anything at all.

“Her own wounds were superficial,” she reminded her brother, spinning around.

Her dress rose in the twirl and revealed a bandage on her leg. There was another on her arm and a suture holding together a cut near her hairline. Despite her injuries, she had been inordinately happy when she returned to the ship with a similarly beat up band made up of Mal, Zoe, and Jayne. Simon never thought to see the day when his little sister would get into a bar fight, not least on the Independents side of a Unification Day brawl. It wasn’t as if he could blame her for being anti-Alliance after all that had happened to her. Simon was of the same mind as she when it came to the evils inherent in the so-called government, but he did not feel the need to use his fists and feet to hammer the point home.

“Having your face seen in public probably isn’t the best thing right now,” he reminded River, grabbing for her arm as she spun by him, but she evaded easily with a child-like grin.

“Too slow!” she told him, poking out her tongue. “Besides, she had protection - friends and family - and more than able to take care of herself now.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” said Jayne with a grin. “Shoulda seen her, doc. Like a bird soarin’ and a hammer swingin’ all at the same time. That’s my little woman.” 

“He makes poetry of her motion,” said River happily, before turning a little more serious. “Not in front of brother,” she told Jayne, apparently reading the direction in which his mind had travelled next.

Simon dropped his medical tools into the tray with a clatter and turned away.

“We’re done here,” he said flatly. “Please, go.”

Jayne let out a low chuckle as he moved to get up from the bed. River moved to assist, trying not to giggle herself. They left together, heading off to their room and Simon was glad to be left alone a moment, though he had company again rather sooner than expected.

“Everything alright with those two?” asked Shepherd Book with concern.

“Yes, they’ll be fine,” Simon said with a smile. “Is there news of the Captain and Zoe?” he checked.

“Not that I’ve heard,” said Book sadly. “Though I have confidence in their resourcefulness. They seem to know what they’re doing, even if the situation at hand might go awry.”

“I wish I was as flexible in a crisis,” said Simon sadly, eyes on his instruments and the cleaning up that needed to happen, even if his mind was wandering terribly. “River and Jayne, they’ve adapted to the situation so easily. I presume it is something akin to what Jayne has known all his life, and River is only glad to have her freedom, but I... I’m not this person. I wonder if I know how to be.” He sighed helplessly. “I’m sorry, I had no intention to treat you like a priest at confessional.”

“Should you need someone to talk to, son, I am more than happy to listen,” said Book kindly. “You know, it’s a very brave thing you’ve done, giving up the life you knew, your family, a position as a wealthy doctor, to go on the run from the Alliance in order to help protect your sister.”

“She doesn’t need my protection.” Simon shook his head. “Jayne appears to be everything she needs, I’m just...”

“You’re her brother, the only family she has left,” Book reminded him. “Whilst I’m sure the two of them are dedicated to each other, they do need you. With the trouble they find themselves in, your medical skills will come in quite useful, I am certain on that,” he said with a smile he couldn’t help.

Simon smiled too. “Perhaps you’re right. Sometimes I wonder how any of us came to be here. Though the Captain told me he could find uses for all three of us aboard, and I don’t disbelieve him, he’s taking a monumental risk by having us here.”

“For all his bluster, I do believe the Captain to be a man of honour,” said Book, nodding his head. “He couldn’t live with himself if he allowed that poor girl to go back to such a fate as she has already suffered.”

Simon nodded his agreement, it was all he could do. Even considering for a second what River would go through if the Alliance, or even their parents, got her back, it was too much to bear. Plus there was whatever punishment he and Jayne would surely face for assisting her escape. He really couldn’t stand to think about it one moment more.

* * *

“Always hate the afterwards of these kinda adventures,” Jayne grumbled, trying to get comfortable on the bed.

His injured leg had a dull ache around the wound since the doc shot him up with painkillers, which was coupled with a dull ache in his head from the same doping. Jayne reckoned he could sleep for a week given half the chance, and yet he didn’t like the fact he was already drifting in and out. The Captain and his mate had gone and got themselves pinched, which made Jayne more nervous than he planned to let on. So far they was still undercover and there was a chance they could all come out o’ this okay. ‘Course if Niska got wind that plans had gone askew on the way to Paradiso, bad things would come for all of them. The old hwun dahn knew nothing of River nor Simon being aboard, and they had no part in this job. Jayne had pitched in, figuring it couldn’t hurt none. ‘Course he hadn’t exactly planned on getting a hole blown in his leg.

“He worries,” said River from her place perched on a chair across the room. “Chain reaction that will blow the world away. Not far to fall, as the Crow flies.”

Her eyes were wide and glassy, staring through Jayne rather than at him. It’d be a creepy ass expression she was wearing if he didn’t know and love her so much, and if she she weren’t smiling pretty as a picture the whole time.

“You got a notion that everythin’s gonna turn alright, bao bei?”

“Relative term.” She shrugged, eyes returning to the notepad in her lap as she coloured in a sketch previously made. “Goodnight, Man-Called-Jayne,” she said with a smile, knowing he was already all but sleeping.

River concentrated on shading in the spaces on her latest work of art. She liked the colours, the deep red, shining golden yellow, and icy blue. She felt the whole rainbow running through her, and for as long as she could concentrate on it, she was a girl again. She laughed and played in the sunshine, knew her worth, worried about nothing. It was another piece of herself that she could hold onto, similar to the part that was Jayne’s bao bei. When they lay together, she was woman, strong and warm and passion-filled. These were only puzzle pieces, fragments of what she was and what she could be. In between were other bits. Some did not fit, others could not be quantified. Even River was not sure how they all went together to make her, but hoped someday an explanation would be found.

At least she had a home. Osiris seemed a million miles away, a lifetime and more. She did not think of parents, of a house on the hill. Sometimes she thought of Nancy, but it hurt her heart, so she tried not to. River liked her new home here. She was planning to stay, safely floating in Serenity.

“Once you’ve been there, you never leave. Learn to live there,” she muttered, words paraphrased from an overheard conversation between Zoe and Simon.

Serenity Valley had been a place of pain, of suffering and death. The ship that bore its name was so different. It was light and hope, a way to keep flying. Flying forever free.

River’s eyes closed a moment, a wave of near-perfect calm washing over her. Her body swayed with the force of it, and then stopped very suddenly. Her head cocked to one-side as if listening, and yet there was no sound to be heard.

“Not over yet,” she muttered to herself, before returning to her picture. “But nothing to worry on,” she said, in a frighenly accurate interpretation of Jayne’s voice.

He snored in his sleep, shifting in the bed, and River smiled.

* * *

Jayne wanted to ignore it, but that just weren’t possible. He hardly noticed River join him on the bed. Figured it happened whilst the drugs still had him out for the count. She was curled around him like a bear hugging onto a tree. Jayne was happy enough for her to be all up close that way, at least while she was sleeping all peaceful like. Problem was, River-girl weren’t seeming so peaceful no more.

She muttered in her sleep sometimes. Mostly, Jayne hadn’t an idea of what she was sayin’ nor nothin’. She seemed worked up at all and he’d whisper words of comfort, stroke her hair off her face until she slept sound again. This was different. This was words he recognised from before, and the sound of ‘em now made his blood run cold.

“Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two, hands of blue.”

Jayne hugged River closer, rubbed her back and spoke comfort to her. Still she kept up the mantra, her whole body shivering as if cold as ice, though the heat of her was burning in through his clothes.

Eyes closed tight shut, Jayne saw a whole mess of pictures behind his eyes. The house the Tams used to call home. That sneering Barnes Patter who couldn’t be trusted no farther than he could be thrown. Suited men on the doorstep with blue gloves on their hands.

“Two by two, hands of blue.”

He reckoned they’d be safe here, and knew River felt it to. Serenity seemed like a place they could call home. Keep flyin’, stay safe. Maybe they was wrong after all, but Jayne hated to think so. All he knew for sure was that he’d protect his bao bei with his life if it come to it. He loved her that gorram much.


	6. Chapter 6

Some might find life confining vessel-side, but River was thrilled by the freedom of travelling unencumbered through the black. She found enough room inside when she needed it. The cargo bay was currently her stage as she lifted her feet until she was practically end pointed, and showed off all her best ballet skills for whatever audience she might have. Eyes were on her, River knew, but never minded here. Serenity was safety and calm. Crew were family already, even after so short a stay. Two weeks and she knew she belonged, something she scarcely ever felt in the place that ought to be called home.

Spinning one last pirouette, River ended with a bow, facing the two onlookers, who applauded her talents.

“That was so shiny!” Kaylee declared. “Boy, I wish I could do that.”

“You are a very skilled dancer, River,” agreed Inara, “and with a natural grace to be envied by anyone.”

“She thanks you,” said River, bowing low one more time, the hem of her dress in her hand. “Mechanic is kind, but Companion is too modest. She has skills too.”

If anyone else had said it, Inara might have taken offence, or at the very least assumed that her more sexual talents were being complimented. With River she was sure she meant precisely what she said and responded accordingly.

“A Companion is trained in various forms of dance,” she confirmed, “but I’m afraid I didn’t have your raw talent to work with.”

“I ain’t got talent for nothin’ but engines.” Kaylee sighed. “Not sayin’ I ain’t altogether glad to be good at anythin’, but I’d give my left leg to be able to dance like that,” she declared, leaning heavily on the catwalk railing.

“I think, mei mei, that if you gave your left leg you would have more problems than you do now when it comes to the art of dancing,” said Inara with a smile. “Come on, come down here with me,” she urged Kaylee then, her hand held out to her. “If River has the time to spare, I’m sure she will be kind enough to teach you a few things, and I can lend a hand as well.”

River glanced from Inara to Kaylee, staring strangely a moment before a grin broke out across her face. “She does not wish to be the elegant swan. She wishes for a fairytale - a prince, a partner, a mate.”

“I am glad to see I’m not the only one to notice,” said Inara, smiling still. “Perhaps, Kaylee, you would rather learn to dance as couples do at a ball than to learn ballet?”

“Could ya teach me that?” she asked the other two. “I mean, I don’t know if or when I’d ever get to use it, but I’d sure love to know how, just in case some fanciful fella should ever ask me.”

River and Inara shared a knowing look and a little light laughter that could not be helped. No-one wished to make Kaylee feel foolish, but it wasn’t as if they couldn’t all guess who she had a mind to impress with her dancing skills.

Though River and Simon were siblings, it was often hard to remember it. Whilst she seemed to have adapted to the life of an outlaw with veritable ease, Simon was still very much a starched shirt, for lack of a better term. He retained an air of fancifulness that River had no urge to keep a hold on. Maybe that was a part of what Kaylee liked about him. In any case, if she wished to learn to dance, the other ladies had no objections to assisting.

From up above, Jayne stood in the shadows a minute, watching the scene. He was pleased enough to see River lookin’ so gorram happy. Sure had been long enough in coming. At the house where he had been her bodyguard, she never did seem to feel all the way comfortable, almost as if she was waiting for something bad to happen. Out in the black, they all felt that way, and it was for the best too. Trouble lurked everywhere and Jayne knew it better than most. He weren’t sorry that River had learnt it fast and Simon just the same. Still, aboard Serenity, the danger was less. Far as Jayne could tell, he could trust the Captain and his crew not to turn on ‘em. For a while, he had been less sure about the Preacher, and even now Jayne weren’t a hundred percent certain that everythin’ about him was quite what it seemed. Still, he believed the old man weren’t the type to turn ‘em all into the Feds nor nothin’. For Jayne, that was enough for now.

Sure as he was that his little woman was properly distracted with her new girly friends, Jayne crept back amongst the shadows and disappeared. He moved quick and definite toward the infirmary, just a little surprised to find Simon weren’t there. Muttering in Chinese, he tried the doc’s quarters next, stopping himself a moment before he bust in. He was supposed to have learned some manners, and Jayne proved he wasn’t so poor a student when he knocked, though he didn’t actually wait for the ‘come in’ before he opened the door.

“Jayne,” said Simon, looking up quickly from his book. “Is everything alright? Is River..?”

“Little woman’s doin’ just fine,” Jayne assured, closing the door behind himself. “For now in any case. She’s down in the cargo bay, tryin’ to teach little Kaylee some fancy dancin’ moves. Never saw women look so giddy over kicking their legs around,” he said, rolling his eyes, though he was smiling anyway.

“So long as they’re happy,” said Simon, thinking mostly of River.

After all she had gone through, he was glad to know she was finding any joy in their current situation. Simon often wished he could be so lucky, though he doubted dance lessons in the cargo bay would help his mood.

“Fact of the matter is, doc, you and me needs to be havin’ a talk,” said Jayne, sitting down on the only chair in the room.

Simon pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed opposite, placing his book to one side.

“You seem very serious,” he said with a frown. “Should I be worried?”

“Wish I knew.” Jayne sighed. “I ain’t altogether sure I should be tellin’ you this, and believe me I don’t like that I gotta, but I’m in over my head, Simon, I don’t mind tellin’ ya.”

Perhaps the biggest shock was the use of his real name. Jayne had a tendency to call everyone by anything but their name. River was usually baobei or little woman, sometimes girly or similar. Simon himself was used to ‘doc’ for the most part, so the fact he just heard his given name from Jayne’s lips proved the topic was extremely serious.

“This must be about River,” he said, unsure what to think in such a moment. “What is it, Jayne? The only possibilities I can come up with is that you no longer wish to protect my sister-”

“That ain’t even it!” he interrupted sharply. “You gorram know how I feel about my little woman. If’n you don’t, you’re even more fong luh than she comes off sometimes!”

“I’m sorry,” said Simon, realising after the fact that he was leaning back and away from Jayne’s anger and righting himself accordingly now. “Then my only other guess would be that you think we should leave Serenity.”

“Well, then you ain’t as smart as I had you down for, doc,” said Jayne grumpily.

Honestly, he wished Simon would guess what the problem was so he didn’t have to tell him. This weren’t no conversation he really wanted to be havin’ but so help him somebody had to know, somebody who might understand and be able to help. He just didn’t like goin’ behind River’s back this way, that was all.

“River’s come to talkin’ in her sleep again,” he admitted at last, again using a given name and making a coldness run through Simon that he didn’t care for at all. “Ain’t the nightmares and all, that I gotten used to, it’s them same words, over and over, and by first light I don’t even think she knows she did it.”

Simon cleared his throat twice before he replied, and even then he wasn’t happy with what he was about to say.

“Two by two, hands of blue,” he said, a statement not a question when it came to River’s mantra.

The way Jayne’s eyes widened proved he had it right.

“You met them suited fellas used to come visitin’ your Pa, didn’t ya?”

Simon nodded. “I never let them into the house if my parents were absent. River would-”

“All but lose her pretty little mind when they come near,” Jayne cut in. “I know it. Gives me an uncomfortableness that those folks are on her mind again.”

“It doesn’t exactly thrill me either,” Simon admitted. “But there’s little I can do. The drugs that myself and Nancy used to administer in an emergency work well enough to stop River when she’s having one of her episodes, but it’s just a smoother, it can’t fix the harm that’s been done,” he admitted. “I can’t begin to figure out just exactly what has been altered or damaged in River’s brain. Trying to figure it out... it might not even be possible.”

Jayne knew if Simon had an idea how to help River, he’d be doing it. Weren’t no question on that. Fact of the matter was, even the doc with all his fancy educatin’ couldn’t know for sure what was goin’ on in her pretty little head. Hell, even the little woman herself didn’t seem sure half o’ the time. Jayne knew she was calmer out here in the black than she ever was home on Osiris, but her goin’ on repeating words about them hands of blue fellas had him rattled, that he couldn’t deny.

“You think maybe they’re close by? The folks from that Academy that messed up her brain?”

“I doubt it,” said Simon, shaking his head. “The tracking device planted aboard Serenity at Persephone is long gone, and if anyone were within range, I believe the Captain or Wash would know of it by now.”

“Mebbe so.” Jayne shrugged his broad shoulders. “All I know is I don’t like it none. Mebbe River-girl is just havin’ nightmares of what come before, but that bein’ the case, ain’t you got anythin’ in your fancy medicines to ease that some?”

“I’d rather not administer any more drugs if I can help it, not unless River asks me herself. It’s possible that she is unaware of what she’s saying or even what she’s dreaming. In those circumstances, it might be better not to tell her.”

Jayne nodded his head, knowing Simon had a point. He didn’t want to make nothing worse for his baobei, not ever, but he sure didn’t think he’d be gettin’ no sleep any time soon, not for so long as she was chanting about them creepy ass fellas whilst she dreamed.

“Found you!” River called from the doorway.

Stealthy as she was, neither Jayne nor Simon ever heard it open or noticed her at all until she spoke. If’n she knew what they’d been talkin’ on she didn’t say so, and the grin on her face was wide as ever it had been.

“Hey there!” said Kaylee from behind her, smiling just the same. “River here’s been teaching me dancin’, and we was wonderin’...”

She didn’t get a chance to say any more as the Captain appeared behind them with an awfully stern look on his face.

“What’s all this twitterin’ about now?” he asked Kaylee in particular. “Ain’t you got work to be doin’ to keep this bird in the air, mei mei?”

“I was just...” she began to make excuses but the look on Mal’s face told her he needed her to get already. “Kuh-ooh duh lao bao-jurn,” she muttered as she went.

“Bai duo, an jing yidian!” he replied, proving he heard her, before painting on a smile and turning to his passengers. “Everything okay here?” he checked.

“All is well inside the belly of the snug-as-a-bug,” River told him, nodding happily.

“Well, ain’t that just shiny?” he replied, feeling a might dazed by her way of talking - he wondered if it would ever really make sense to him. “Fact of the matter is, we come across a ship, doesn’t look too good. Pretty sure we ain’t got Reavers nor anythin’ so horrifyin’. Could be there are folks aboard in trouble. Might be they abandoned ship.”

“When you say in trouble,” said Simon, “you mean they may need medical assistance?”

“Could be. Ain’t gonna know for sure until we go aboard,” Mal confirmed. “Just wanted to let you know what was happenin’, so there’s no unpleasant surprises,” he said with a significant look at River.

“No surprises, no presents,” she told him, though her eyes stared off into nothing now, one hand gripping her opposite arm so tight her knuckles began to go white. “Only rattling chains, white noise...” she rambled some, until Jayne’s hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality and she looked right at him, lucid as anyone. “Ghosts.”


	7. Chapter 7

It didn’t sit well with any of them to have the last survivor from the derelict onboard. Jayne most especially got an uncomfortableness about him, not least because River was so skittish since he was brought in. The things that fella had to have seen when the rest of the crew was tortured and killed by Reavers, it didn’t bear thinking on. Reader that she was, River had to know all that the poor hwun dahn had suffered, and it was haunting her more than it was him from what Jayne could tell.

“I’ve done what I can for him, tended the wounds, sedated him for now,” said Simon as he emerged from the infirmary with Mal at his heels. “I’m not sure what else-”

“Ain’t nothin’ else,” said the Captain shortly. “Honestly? Kinda wish my aim had been truer. Woundin’ the man caused him pain but what’s goin’ on inside of his head... Might’ve been kinda to put the bullet in his brainpan.”

“Mal! Inara looked shocked by the suggestion, as Kaylee’s lip quivered, but River was as resolute as her Captain.

“Kinder ending,” she agreed. “Can only go badly now,” she said, one hand reaching out towards the infirmary though she was tens of feet from the door. “Dark, darker, darkest,” she intoned, shivering as if frozen to the bone with cold.

Simon put an arm around her and encouraged her to lower her hand. “It’s alright, mei mei.”

“Sha gwa,” she muttered, pulling from his grasp and striding away towards the passenger dorms.

Jayne automatically went after her, muttering obscenities in Chinese. This was the last thing they needed, the last thing his bao bei needed. Problem was, t’weren’t up to Jayne nor River who came aboard this ship. All of that was down to the Captain. Mal seemed decent enough, and on the opposite side of the line to the Alliance, which was a good thing. ‘Parently he had a saviour complex too, and that Jayne coulda done without. Precious little he could do about it for now, save for try to bring his little woman some comfort and all until this particular adventure was over.

Headed for their room, Jayne weren’t altogether sure about findin’ River there. ‘Twas some relief to realise that was just exactly where she was hidin’. ‘Course the state he found her in weren’t no kind of comfort at all.

“Loud. Louder than anything,” she muttered, fingers wound tightly into her hair as she sat on the bed, rocking back and forth some. “Dark pain. Not his or hers, but there. Always there. So loud!”

“Hey, now,” said Jayne, going over to sit by her, trying to make her look up but she weren’t willin’. “Bao bei, can’t say as I know how it is to have all o’ that fei hua in your head like you do, but you gotta... We just gotta deal with it a while. Cap’n don’t want that fella here no more than we do, but he’s the righteous type, I reckon. Won’t have no harm comin’ to no innocents. Works good for you anyhow. Like as not why he let us stay aboard.”

River didn’t say nothin’, but her hands stilled in her hair and her body ceased it’s rocking. Jayne weren’t sure whether that was a good thing or not. Half wished Simon was there to tell him for certain. All the time they spent together, Jayne thought he was learning well and all how to deal with every manner of moods and fits that River went through, but she always could surprise him yet.

“Speak of other things,” she urged him, voice soundin’ all kindsa shaky as she made herself look at him. “Tales of the past, when he was Boy Called Jayne,” she said, finding a watery smile. “Tell her of of Dalphia, Evie, and Lilly-May. Of Matty, Lonnie, and Hal. Of Ma and Pa, and a house of love.”

She laid back on the bed, closed her eyes as she begged for her bedtime story. Jayne weren’t sure where to begin exactly, scratching the back of his neck as he thought it over. River knew pieces of where he come from, his family and all. How much he let slip and how much she read clean outta his head, he couldn’t say for sure. If’n she wanted to know somethin’, they both knew she only had to go probin’ into his mind whenever she gorram felt the urge. Difference was she didn’t wanna do that. Wanted to hear him tellin’ tales. Like as not it was easier to drown out everything else that way.

“Lemme see now,” he considered, moving to lay beside her and pulling her close in his arms. “I ‘member this one day, it was hot as all hell, and we all went down to the lake...”

He had barely begun his story when a smile curved River’s lips and she breathed easier a while. The sound of his voice, rough as it seemed to others, was sweet music and honey to her. The thud of his heartbeat passed through her body, keeping time with her own. The ‘verse made sense for a while, it was quiet and calm, and all the darkness that she could not control could at least be pushed aside for as long as this moment lasted. With all the tales her Jayne had to tell, it ought to last a long time.

* * *

As if things hadn’t seemed pear-shaped enough before, dealing with the Reaver-infested fella and then the gorram booby trap that had attached itself to Serenity from the derelict. Jayne had hoped when all that was done, and the Preacher and Simon got finished up laying the dead to rest, they’d get out of this creepy ass quadrant and high tail it elsewhere, somewhere safer, that bothered River less. Fat chance.

When Mal told ‘em all they was about to be boarded by Alliance, started laying out all the cargo from the derelict in plain sight, Simon sort of lost it. Jayne couldn’t blame the doc for bein’ afeared. Them Alliance folks caught up to the three of them, that’d be the end of everything. River would be taken from ‘em, Simon would probably find himself doin’ time for helpin’ her escape, and Jayne... Well, he wasn’t bein’ locked in no jail for what he’d done.

“She knew it,” said River, staring at him across the back end of the cargo bay whilst Simon yelled at Mal in front, little Kaylee and the others trying to calm the situation. “He never speaks the words, but she... I always knew,” she made herself say.

“Whatcha talkin’ on, little woman?” asked Jayne, half an ear still on the ruckus a few feet away.

If it looked as if Simon might really be getting himself into trouble, he’d step up. No way Mal was takin’ no pot-shots at the boy, no matter what was said or done. Glancing from them to River, Jayne was surprised to see her smiling. She walked over to him, graceful as ever she had been. Her hand reached out to his chest, fingers tracing the place where his heart lived.

“Beats for her,” she said so softly he almost didn’t hear. “Would stop for her.”

Jayne met her eyes and knew it was no good tryin’ to deny what they both knew she had already read from his mind. The pictures that danced there were bloody and vicious. A hundred and one versions of him tryin’ to stop her bein’ taken from him, or just struggling with those purple bellies until they grew tired of tryin’ to deal with him, putting a knife in him or a bullet maybe.

There was no purpose in nodding his agreement nor saying the words. She knew what it all meant, same as he did. Sure, he’d die for her. Since all he’d done this past year was live for her, couldn’t make much sense to go on if’n she weren’t there no more.

“The longer you spend hollerin’ at me, Doc, the more I might be willin’ to hand you over to this Alliance fella along with the cargo!” Mal yelled into the moment River and Jayne had been having.

They turned as one to see Simon backing up a step from the threat. Jayne strode on over with his little woman on his heels.

“You got some bright idea ‘bout keepin’ us away from them ung jeong jia ching jien sohs, Cap’n, now’d be the time. Oughta know if they come for us, I ain’t goin’ quiet, and I’ll take anybody down with me that I have to.”

“That I believe,” said Mal, nodding once. “But ain’t no need for it. I got us a plan, one place where these folks’ll never think to look for ya.”

* * *

Simon weren’t at all happy about bein’ out in the void of space. Didn’t bother Jayne none, but the second the doc heard the plan about hiding on the outside of the ship when the Alliance came knocking, he started turning green. All but the colour of grass right about now as he hung on to the hull like his life depended on it.

River was a whole other story. She seemed all kinds of pleased to be told she was goin’ out into the black so literal. The grin she wore the whole time he was gettin’ her prepped and into her space suit was warmer than any sun Jayne ever saw in his life, and since they were out here she only got happier.

Her eyes shone brighter than the stars, her smile wide as Jayne had ever seen it. Only time she ever looked so happy was when they laid together, and even then he had to admit, if’n only inside his own head, that she was never quite so peaceful-looking, so free as she was right here, right now.

“Havin’ a good time, bao bei?” he asked her through the crackling comms within their helmets.

“Could stay forever!” she said, barely looking at him, eyes fixed on the endless black full of sparkling stars and such. “Forever and ever!”

Jayne stared only at her, having much the same thoughts, not hating that she knew it without him having to say a word.


	8. Chapter 8

Inara paused the recording sent by a potential client and tapped on another. The nervous man made her smile, so young and uncertain. She might try to make time for him, she thought.

“Innocence,” said a voice behind her, startling the Companion to the point of losing her perfect posture for a moment.

“River, I had no idea you were there,” she said, a hand to her chest as she paused that recording also. “You know I really don’t mind if you’d like to visit me, but it is more polite to knock,” she told her gently.

“Door was open,” said River, wandering in and picking through the trinkets on the table without pause. “Hard to come by.”

“Not really,” Inara corrected her, rising from her seat and moving to take the music box from River’s hands. “This kind of thing is not so very rare on the core planets, as you must know.”

“Innocence,” she echoed with a frown. “The boy, he is rarity, this day and age,” she said, gesturing to the vid screen. “Most know too much, too young.”

Inara stared at River, unsure how to respond. It was difficult sometimes to figure out exactly what she was referring to in her odd speech patterns. A moment ago, Inara would have sworn they were talking about an ornamental box, but apparently not. River worried for a loss of innocence, in the worlds, in the new generation of people it brought, or perhaps just in herself. It was extremely hard to tell.

“Does it feel the same?” she asked very suddenly.

“Does it...? I’m sorry, mei mei, I’m not sure what question you’re asking,” she said gently, moving to sit on the couch and offering for River to join her. “Are you asking me about my profession?”

“She supposes it is a profession. Services for payment. Can it be the same when services are paid for with the heart, as it is when paid for by the coin?”

Inara was a little taken aback when she realised what she was being asked, not least because she had no answer to the question. River spoke of sex, a subject with which Inara was so very familiar and had no problem in talking about. If she understood correctly, River was wondering if the intimate relationship between a man and a woman felt the same no matter whether the transaction was for the physical payment of money or done in joy and love, for the sake of true feelings and very real desire.

“I wish I had an answer for you, River,” she said, shaking her head. “I can tell you that I enjoy my work. A Companion chooses to whom she provides her services, so I am always well pleased with the men, and occasionally the women, that I bring aboard my shuttle. I feel connected to them, I ensure that we both enjoy the experience, it is part of the job in that way. Unfortunately, I am not so lucky as to know how it feels to truly be in love,” she said sadly. “I cannot say the difference it might make to the process.”

River tilted her head as she stared at Inara. She looked equally as sad as the Companion at first and then a smile crept across her lips.

“She knows,” she said, rising from her seat and heading for the door.

With the odd distant way in which she usually spoke, it was unclear whether River meant herself or Inara when she said ‘she’. The short cryptic phrase left Inara wondering, but apparently she was getting no further explanation as River was gone from the shuttle just as suddenly as she appeared.

Inara was unsure how long she might have sat there staring into nothing, wondering at River’s words, if not for the chiming of the comms system. Atherton was calling, and she smiled at the realisation. No, she had never been in love, but Atherton Wing knew how to make her feel very special. That would have to do for now.

* * *

The men were playing cards. They had invited River to join but she politely declined. It would be unfair and they all knew it. Though she would not do it on purpose, she may be able to detect who held which cards or how they would play their next move. Besides, she was happy enough just to watch for a while, at least until she realised her Jayne Man was looking to her for advice all too often. A good man for her he may be, but if he could cheat the Preacher and her brother at the game he would.

“She will not assist,” she said, rising from her seat at the table and wandering into the meagre kitchen.

“Is that how you’re winning?” she heard Simon ask Jayne.

“Ain’t even anyhow!” he protested.

River stopped hearing anything after that. The cupboard open before her contained innocuous things - packaging, packets, tin cans. To anyone else they were just objects, perhaps to others much needed sustenance. To River they were more, and much worse.

“No,” she muttered, pulling them into her hands. “No, no, no!”

She spoke not above a whisper at first, hardly aware herself that she made any sound. Of course the crashing about that came from her slamming cans onto the counter top, tearing into packets, and beginning to grow hysterical, that all drew attention.

“Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan...” said Jayne as he realised what was happening.

“River, no!” Simon cried, scrambling to his feet.

Jayne got to her first, wrapping his arms tight around her from behind and speaking comfort right into her ear.

“Easy now, girly. C’mon, bao bei, it’s gonna be okay.”

Simon was ready to make a grab for the smoother if it were needed. This was perhaps only the second time since they came aboard that he came close to reaching for drugs on River’s behalf, the first having been the naked screaming fit she had their first day here. River really did look wild, and struggled against Jayne for all she was worth when he first took a hold. Once he manoeuvred her out of the kitchen, sitting her down in a comfortable chair, she seemed to become more calm.

“No harm done,” said Shepherd Book, surveying the damage in the galley. “Just means we’ll be having a few mystery meals, that’s all.”

“You alright, River-girl?” Jayne checked, looking over her hands.

She had a couple of cuts that were something and nothing, though Simon insisted on fetching sticking plaster to cover them. Jayne put one hand to River’s cheek and made her meet his eyes.

“Hey, you with me, little woman?”

“Present and accounted for,” she confirmed, nodding her head.

Sometimes when she had her fits like that, even she wasn't sure what had happened after. Other times, Jayne feared she knew and was just afraid to talk on it. This was one of them times. He opened his mouth to ask what happened when the doc appeared to apply the sticking plasters to Rivers fingers. She watched intently as her brother worked and then out of nowhere she smiled.

“He will be her partner,” she said, looking to Jayne.

“Figured I was already,” he told her, a might confused, which wasn’t altogether new for him. “Speak plain, little woman.”

River’s grin widened as she put her small hand in Jayne’s larger one and took a grip. She rose to her feet, graceful as a bird and encouraged him to come with her.

“If he can count, then he can dance,” she said, nodding once.

“He can what, now?” asked Jayne, shocked by the very idea of what she was saying.

Simon covered his mouth with his hand, looking suddenly very amused. The thought of Jayne dancing in any form was enough to bring on laughter.

“Oh my,” said Book, clearly having to bite his lip too now that he realised what was going on.

“Hey wait a second here-”

“Don’t argue,” River advised when Jayne seemed ready to do just that. “Prince Charming can’t take her to the ball, but they can dance,” she said definitely.

Jayne still wanted to fight her on this. It was written all over his face, how uncomfortable he was, how real embarrassed, but River had a point. She couldn’t go to no fancy shindigs, not today, pro’ly not ever. Jayne took her away from that, at her asking, but still. Mebbe this was all she ever got, just him in the galley of a flyin’ piece of go-se in the black. Mebbe he owed her this much, and if it was taking her mind off whatever had her screaming and fighting before, so much the better.

“You don’t wanna dance with your brother?” he tried, just in case. “Guess not,” he muttered when River made a face that spoke volumes.

“Hey, I heard a commotion,” said Kaylee, appearing from the engine room. “Oh, River, are you teachin’ Jayne what you taught me?”

“She aims to try.” River smiled. “Help may be needed. A good example to follow,” she said, looking encouragingly at Simon.

“Oh, River, no,” he said, shaking his head. “Kaylee doesn’t want to...”

“I wouldn’t mind none,” she assured him. “I mean, ain't much to look at as I am, but if you don’t mind that...”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way you look,” said Simon.

“Well, if we’re gonna do this gorram dancin’ thing, could we get to it?” said Jayne grumpily, wondering at how River was keeping him in hold so easy despite the fact he clearly had the advantage of body mass and all. “Ain’t my idea of fun anyhow.”

Book took a seat from the table and positioned himself for a good view. This certainly ought to make for an interesting way to pass the time, and he had been losing at cards in any case. He watched as River gave instruction to Jayne and reminded Kaylee of what she had learnt before. She counted the beats and Book tried to assist by clapping a rhythm to her numbers, so that when she needed to stop and give further instruction, they could all keep the beat.

Jayne moved like a thousand of brick, as anyone might expect, but he gave it his all for River’s sake and she seemed to appreciate the effort made. Kaylee and Simon made better progress, though she stepped on his toes once or twice. The boy was too kind to complain and the pair fairly glowed with the joy that being so close brought them, when they weren’t glowing equally as bright from blushing with embarrassment.

On his part, Jayne almost forgot there was anyone in the whole gorram place ‘cept for him and his River girl. She was always beautiful, more when she danced than most other times, he reckoned. With her dress swinging out around her legs when he spun her, eyes full of light and joy, she was the prettiest of sights. Made Jayne glad he agreed to dance with her, even if he weren’t no good his ownself.

“Ma always said I had two left feet,” he said, wincing as he moved the wrong way and ran him and River right into Simon and Kaylee.

“She tried to teach her boys?” said River, intrigued by the thought.

“Girls too.” Jayne nodded. “My Pa weren’t nothing and nobody, but my Ma, she come from more fanciful folks. Not so rich and powerful as you and yours, but a might more fine than the Cobb line that come before, that’s for gorram sure. Tried her darndest to give us all manners and such, teach us to be ladies and gents and all o' that. Never did quite stick with me,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

“She thinks he is quite the gentleman,” said River, dropping into a deep curtsey. “And thanks you for the dance, sir.”

“Me too.” Kaylee nodded, sad to see the dancing seemed to be over now. “Thank you, Simon.”

“You’re welcome, Kaylee,” he told her, smiling still.

Jayne was fair sure the boy had smiled more in the past five minutes than the whole time he knew him up to today. That wasn’t nothing.

“Whatcha all doin’ in here?” asked Mal as he suddenly appeared in the doorway.

“River and Simon were providing a lesson in ballroom dancing,” said Shepherd Book, rising from his seat. “It was quite the display.”

“Well, ain’t that somethin’?” he said, looking from him to River. “You know what I was comin’ in here to say, little one?” The smile on her face spoke volumes. “Huh. Sorry to say you ain’t the one to be comin’ along on my arm, but in the circumstances...”

“She understands.” River nodded, looking to Kaylee then. “Lucky girl. Chosen for the task.”

“Me?” the mechanic asked. “I don’t... What was I ever chosen for?”

“Believe there’s a dress in a shop window got your name on it, little Kaylee,” Mal told her easily. “We got us a ball to be headed to.”


	9. Chapter 9

Kaylee had been having such a good time at the party. Sure, she hadn’t much cared for the snotty girl who made nasty comments about her dress and all but called her common, but everybody else was so nice, and the whole occasion was so special. She had eaten her fill of sweet treats, danced a little with the Captain, and all in all really enjoyed herself for the better part of an hour before things turned ugly. Sure’n she would’ve liked it better if Simon were here, but after what she just heard, she was awful glad that the good doctor had stayed behind on Serenity.

She was within feet of the Captain, needing to give him the important and awful news she just heard when things went even more wrong. One minute there was dancing going on and the next Inara’s fancy date went sprawling on the floor courtesy of Mal’s right hook. Kaylee knew then things were worse than before.

“I accept,” said the gentleman, who probably wasn’t a gentleman if'n the Captain had hit him, but that weren’t for Kaylee to say.

There was talk of a duel but the little mechanic barely heard. Honestly, she weren’t so worried about a fight breaking out. Guns and weapons of that kind had been taken from folks on their way in, so nobody was going to come to any serious harm, least of all the Captain who could always handle himself in a fight. She was way more worried about the couple of the far side of the room whose names she just heard.

“Cap’n!” she said urgently, sidling up to him and yanking on his sleeve. “Cap’n, we got trouble!”

“Apparently more than we thought,” said Mal, barely realising she was there until the last moment.

These folks seemed to think a smack in the mouth wasn’t just a lesson in manners but a challenge of some sort. If Mal was understanding right from Inara and from Warwick Harrow, he might yet have to learn to handle a sword. Now that could be problematic.

“Those folks over there, look,” said Kaylee in an urgent whisper, gesturing as best she could without being too obvious. “I heard talk that’s Gabriel and Regan Tam.”

“Jen dao mei,” Mal muttered, until his attention was regained by Atherton Wing.

Seemed there really was to be a sword fight, tomorrow at dawn. There was way too much going on at this shindig, that was for gorram sure!

“Come, lad. You’ll stay at my house tonight, and we shall ready you for tomorrow’s battle,” said Warwick, trying to lead Mal away.

He looked from Inara to Kaylee, pulling away towards his mechanic for a moment.

“Little Kaylee, you get back to the ship. You tell the others what happened with me, and who you saw here. Keep those folks of ours outta harm's way 'til I get back tomorrow, dong ma?”

“Shi,” she confirmed, hurrying away from the scene.

Mal let himself be led by Warwick then, he really had no other choice. He spared the Tams only one glance, memorising their faces as best he could. If he ever saw them again, he wanted to know who they were, that was for gorram certain.

* * *

“He is unhappy.”

“Ain’t gorram happy, that’s for sure,” Jayne grumbled.

He knew River was right there behind him without ever turnin’. He was pretty good at knowing where folks was anyhow, mark of a good tracker and all, but with her it was more’n that. With River, it was almost as if some of her Reader stuff had rubbed off on him. He had a sense of her mebbe, or something like that. Jayne didn’t have the words to explain it, not the science neither, but he always knew when River was there, and even when she was elsewhere he had a mind to know if she needed him, needed help, was feelin’ afraid. Right now, she wasn’t the one with the problem, that was him, and they both knew it.

“Somethin’ not sittin’ right ‘bout this whole caper,” he said, turning to see her framed in the doorway to their room. “Seems to me now might be a good time to go lookin’ into where the Cap’n might be.”

“Second says not,” River told him, stepping into the room and placing both hands against his chest. “His heart beats in the right place, but concern is unwarranted, unneeded. They know better.”

“They know better?” he echoed. “Better’n you?”

“She knows much but not all. Psychic, perhaps, but not God.”

Jayne frowned at that. ‘Course he knew his bao bei didn’t know everything, that she weren’t in control of stuff neither. Sometimes thought it’d all be a might easier if'n she were, but then where’d be the fun in such a situation as that? Still seemed weird to him that anybody knew better what was goin’ on than his little woman.

“Cap’n’s been gone a while, and no word on his deal he was makin’. Gives me an uncomfortableness, bao bei, I don’t mind tellin’ ya.”

“Crew is uneasy about them already. Make trouble and... and it will end badly,” she said, fingers splaying over Jayne’s chest and moving downwards. “Better ways to spend the time,” she said then, looking up at him through her lashes and wearing a sly smile.

“Now, them ain’t kosherised rules,” he said with a smirk. “You tryin’ to distract me with your womanly wiles and all.”

Though he argued the point, he had soon left his gun on the table and wrapped his arms around River’s body. She was prob’ly right anyhow. Cap’n had to know what he was doing to survive so long out in the black. Chances were good he already got the job done and was just enjoyin’ a little downtime while he had the chance. Rest of the crew didn’t seem all that worried.

Jayne forgot to think at all when he and River laid down together. She was all kinds of distracting, in ways he never had and never would complain about. Problem wasn’t what they was doin’, it was the fact they stopped just when they was gettin’ to the good part.

River threw her head back so sudden, hair flying like crazy as her eyes looked left and right. T’weren’t no look of pleasure on her face, that was for gorram sure. Somethin’ was wrong.

“Bao bei?” said Jayne, comin’ out of his passion-haze awful fast. “River...?”

“Trouble,” she said, climbing off him fast, pulling her dress straight as she moved quickly to the door.

“Ain’t there always?” Jayne muttered, getting up too and fastening his pants as he followed her.

River crept down to the cargo bay, elegant as the dancer she was, while Jayne lumbered behind. He didn’t look all that graceful but he learnt long ago to be quiet. Only sound came with a click as he let the safety off his gun. River turned sharply at the sound and shook her head ‘no’. He made a face that said ‘are you kidding?’ but her stern expression didn’t waver. They didn’t need guns for this, she saw how it could go in her head and she smiled.

Without a word, River whirled around and stepped out through the doorway into the light of the cargo bay.

“Hello there,” said a voice Jayne didn’t know. “More passengers, eh?”

“That’s right,” replied River, also in a voice Jayne didn’t know, since she was putting on some accent that matched this new fella’s own. “And who might you be?”

“They call me Badger,” he said, tipping his hat just as Jayne made himself known.

Badger looked visibly startled by the sight of Jayne, but tried to hide it. River smiled slow.

“Well-known reputation,” said River easily, putting a hand back on Jayne’s chest without ever looking at him - her eyes stayed fixed on Badger. “Businessman, so he claims. Criminal, but not as bad as the tales he spins.” She smiled, shaking her head. “Sad little king of a sad little hill.”

“She talking about me or you?” he asked Jayne, trying to find the riddles amusing.

“He doesn’t speak,” River cut in before her lover could say a word. “If he could, I don’t think he’d like you.”

Jayne growled for effect, wrapping a protective arm around River’s waist and pulling her closer. He too kept eyes on Badger who swallowed hard.

“Always a pleasure to meet folks from the old homestead,” he said, forcing a smile.

“Not really,” said River, tapping Jayne on the arm and urging him to follow her.

With her hand in his now they moved across the cargo bay, Jayne counting the goons with guns, assessing the situation, River looking to each of the crew in the hopes of gleaning information. Something had gone wrong with the Captain’s plan. From what she had heard, this was not a revelation and happened often, but this time was different. The second and the pilot had half-expected this outcome. The Preacher silently prayed for a happy ending, and Simon did much the same. Kaylee was different. As River looked to her, the mechanic looked away. Cold, shivering from the inside. She held a secret, and River gasped when she realised what it entailed.

“Seems Mal has had some trouble on Persephone,” said Badger, addressing the whole group now. “We’re here to see to it that he gets out of that trouble, holds up his end of the deal he made with me.”

“Cap’n keeps his promises,” said Zoe, staring coldly at the crime boss.

“Can’t be said of all,” said River, accent wavering back to her usual tone, as she literally cut into the conversation by walking between the two. She ventured closer to Kaylee, seemingly unaware of anyone else. “Some quote love and honour, but betray. Others keep their word, all the words, buried deep. Hold the secret, hold the line,” she said, smiling at Kaylee. “She knows.”

“Hey, what’s that about?” asked Badger, taking a step towards the two women.

Jayne moved into his path and growled low in his throat, as much beast as man in such a moment. Even with his armed men flanking him, Badger looked rattled. He stepped one stride back again, hands raised just slightly.

“Maybe we should all keep quiet while we wait,” he suggested, swallowing hard one more time. “Yeah, probably best.”

* * *

Malcolm Reynolds had hardly thought to come out on top of a duel to the death, with swords of all weaponry. A gun fight, a bar fight, your basic fist fight, those he knew how to win, but this had been all kinds of rules and trickery. T’werent his idea of fun, that much was for certain, but the whole thing had been worth it come the close of the deal. Warwick Harrow handed over his cargo, and to top it all off, Inara had decided to stay aboard Serenity, never to see that snake Atherton Wing ever again. Despite the bandage on his side and the pain the wound beneath brought, Mal had to call this one a win, and a damn fine day all in all.

“Brave knight,” said River as she appeared on the catwalk behind him.

Mal turned to see her and winced as his stitches pulled. Taking a breath, he waited for her to come to him, seating herself, dainty as you please, where Inara had been not long before.

“Ain’t nothin’ so brave ‘bout what I did, little one,” he told her, shrugging his shoulders carefully so as not to make anything else hurt. “Heard you put on quite the show for Badger though,” he said, smirking at the thought. “You and your fella scared the niou-se outta him from what I hear.”

“Nothing to fear but fear itself,” she said, smiling in spite of herself, though the expression didn’t last. “She thanks him, on behalf of others. The darkness came, they didn’t know, but she saw it. In the other girl. Cold, dark secret carried for them.”

The riddles were not Mal’s favourite part of River, not in the least bit, but there was no way not to understand this one. She knew Kaylee saw the Tams at the ball, and she was grateful not to have been ratted out to them. Never told her brother nor Cobb, but she knew, and she was thankful.

“Lemme tell you somethin’, little one,” said Mal kindly, setting down his cup and giving Rver his full attention. “You’re part of my crew now. You, your brother, and your man, you’re all a part. Proven yourself useful to me and trustworthy on top o’ that. That’s all I need. That means you place your trust in all o’ us and we’re gonna make good on that bet, dong ma? Ain’t no harm gonna come to ya, at least not on purpose. Got a habit o’ runnin’ into trouble more often than some, but there’s no way me and mine are selling you out, not to nobody.”

“She understands.” River nodded. “Is grateful also,” she said smiling. “Mal means bad, in the Latin, but he proves it wrong. Is a worthier father than the one that came before.”

Before Mal could hardly process those words, River was up on her feet and gone from his sight. Almost seemed as if she just called him her new Daddy, which was not altogether what he expected.

“Huh,” he said to nobody at all, and then he smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

“Hey, Doc!” Jayne called from the doorway of the infirmary, rapping his knuckles on the wall pointlessly. “Ya sister had me come look for ya. Almost dinner time.”

Simon turned and nodded, acknowledging he had heard Jayne’s words, though he didn’t put down what he was doing or stop at all. Of course River had sent Jayne to fetch him. She was having one of her days where anything medical was practically the devil’s work. Not that he could blame her. After what she suffered at the hands of the Alliance, so-called teachers and doctors, Simon couldn’t fail to make sense of River’s skittish nature around any kind of medical facility, even a place that was his own. 'Needles and pins', she would say when he tried to administer a drug. Sometimes it had been necessary. He worried too often about when the next time would be, though he had to admit she did seem better more recently. Better since Jayne, better since Serenity.

Simon was so distracted by his thoughts on River, he didn’t realise Jayne had come further into the room and was now hovering at his shoulder. The larger man leaned over, staring intently at the read-outs in Simon’s hand. He didn’t have to look at his face to know that Jayne had no clue what he was staring at, what any of it meant. No untrained eye could possibly have a clue.

“That mean somethin’ good or bad?” he asked gruffly, more quietly than he usually spoke.

Not that it would make a difference if River did or didn’t hear. Wherever she was, she could know if she wanted to, and without a word spoken either.

“I really couldn’t say,” Simon admitted. “It’s difficult to know exactly what was done to River at the Academy. Much of the research I had done into her condition was left behind when we ran, and even then... well, it wasn’t much.” He sighed, putting the sheets of acetate back into the drawer and locking it shut. “River won’t talk about what happened, and I can’t blame her for that,” he said, turning to lean on the counter top. “I want her to move on and be happy, but until I figure out exactly what was done, it’s impossible to undo it. It might be impossible even if I did know,” he admitted, running a hand over his face and back through his hair.

Jayne didn’t know what to say. Simon didn’t expect him to. It wasn’t just his uneducated state that made it unlikely that Jayne had anything useful to say on the subject, it was actually more because of his feelings for River. The last thing he wanted to do was make his ‘little woman’ talk about those awful days of torture and distress that she went through, especially not now. She was doing so much better, most of the time. She had her moments still, where lucidity abandoned her, when she made little or no sense. It wasn’t quite so frightening as the uncontrollable fits from before, but it still wasn’t normal, not quite right.

“She, er... She stopped with the 'hands of blue' stuff,” said Jayne suddenly, gesturing vaguely with his hand. “Ain’t much I sleep through as a rule, ‘specially since me and your sister been bunking together,” he explained, regretting his words some when he saw the look on Simon’s face - the boy pro’ly didn’t need remindin’ that his sister bunked with anyone. “If’n she was sayin’ that stuff, I’d hear. Last few nights, she’s been quiet as a church mouse.”

“That’s good.” Simon nodded. “I’m glad she’s finding peace in dreams at least.”

“She lashed out pretty good this one night, but t’weren’t nothin’ much,” Jayne admitted. “She settled in a second, but I almost got me some serious scratches off them fancy nails Inara painted up for her,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Womenfolk.”

“Yes, womenfolk” Simon echoed, glad to have a joke to smile at amongst so much serious talk.

Perhaps River’s mind could never be fully healed, but certainly being aboard this ship, being in love with Jayne, being taken care of by this strange family they had found aboard Serenity, it all seemed to help.

“You said something about dinner?” he said suddenly remembering. “We’re probably keeping everyone else from their food.”

“Prob’ly so,” Jayne agreed. “Best we gets to movin’ then. Ain’t missin’ my chow for nobody!”

* * *

When Serenity landed on Jiangyin, nobody was especially sorry. It meant a little fresh air and a change of scenes, plus it signalled that the cattle were finally leaving the ship. Though River had developed an affinity with the beasts, most folks had done their part with less than a willingness. Plus there was a certain odour that steers made that certainly would be missed by no-one. The clean-up of what they left behind on the ramp as they were herded off ship was going to be less than fun too.

“You two gonna help me corral this bunch of beef?” said Mal to River and Jayne, both of whom seemed to have taken it upon themselves to be useful.

“Yes, Captain Daddy,” she said, curtseying prettily as she ran along behind the cattle.

Mal laughed and shook his head. She used that name for him sometimes, though not always, ever since that talk they had a while back after the shindig on Persephone. She seemed to see him as the fatherly type, and though the Captain didn’t fully understand why she should, he let her be. Sweet girl that she was, she meant no harm, and the troubles with her brain-pan seemed less of late. Sure’n she kept her man under control. Any time Mal suspected Jayne might be about to explode or tell him he didn’t like the Captain’s rules or some such, he’d see the little one touch his arm, give a look. The beauty that tamed the beast, maybe. Mal wasn’t so quick to think it was quite that simple, but it worked for the most part as an explanation for the two. The Doc was a might harder to figure. Abandoning all he had for his sister’s sake, even though she had protection and love enough in her man. Far as Mal was concerned that made Simon Tam a real stand-up fella, and there weren’t too many of them in the ‘verse these days.

“Though Shepherd is purely a figurative title” said Book then, getting the attention of all, “I think I’ve done a reasonable job with the fencing,” he said of his own handiwork, tying the last rope tightly.

“Mighty fine corral, Preacher.” Mal nodded his agreement. “Now we just got to wait on those buyers of ours. You come to lend a hand, little Kaylee?” he asked as she wandered down the ramp towards him. “Or you just reckon on bein’ sad now our cargo is leaving us?”

“I was just thinkin’, might be nice to get a little air, see the sights,” she said, glancing back at Simon who was higher on the ramp, keeping an eye on River and Jayne perhaps, as he squinted awkwardly into the light. “I got the time to take a walk into town, ain’t I?”

“Reckon you have that, mei mei,” said Mal, looking from her to Simon and back. “You want company, maybe the good doctor would be so gentlemanlike as to escort ya. What d’ya say, Doc?” he said, calling back to him.

“I’m sorry,” he replied, clearly not realising he was being addressed directly now. “I wasn’t...”

“Think maybe you wanna take a walk into town? Exercise those legs o’ yours?” asked Mal with perhaps too much of a smile. “Not often we can let you out planetside, but this ain’t the kinda place where Alliance would be. You’d be safe enough, and I’m sure little Kaylee here wouldn’t mind the company none.”

She blushed at the implication even though it was entirely true. Of all people she would most like to walk with her, Simon was top of the list. Mal knew it, and he was trying to help, which made him the best Captain ever. Of course, it stung some to realise that Simon didn’t look over-keen.

“Are you sure it’d be safe and... and proper?” he checked.

“Ain’t much call for proper this far out on the Rim, Doc,” Mal reminded him. “’Sides, you’ll be in public view. Can’t do much that’s improper, unless you really set your mind to wantin’ to, o’ course.”

The look on his face had Kaylee taking a playful swipe at him and Jayne laughing lasciviously when he overheard. ‘Course it was impossible for her to be too put out, especially when Simon eventually agreed to walk with her.

“I suppose it might be nice to see a little more of the world outside the ship,” he considered. “And I couldn’t ask for nicer company, I’m sure,” he said of Kaylee, probably blushing harder than she ever could within a moment.

“Then let’s go ahead,” she said, grinning as they headed of.

She paused ever so briefly in front of Mal and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“I love my Captain!” she declared before hurrying away.

“Then I guess I ain’t doin’ so bad.” He sighed, watching Jayne and River chase each other around the cattle fence and Book laughing at the show they made.

Onboard, Inara would be keeping herself busy in her shuttle; Zoe and Wash were ensuring everything kept on ticking over just fine with Serenity. For a little while, Mal’s world had a calmness to it. Made him feel a might unsettled truth be known. Nothin’ ever ran so smooth for long. Much as it might be a shame to do so, he was already anticipatin’ the bad that came next. It never did let him down.

* * *

Jayne hadn’t been ready for it. Not after all this time, made no gorram sense. Everythin’ had gone so good today, run so smooth. Maybe that oughta been the first clue, first thing that made him take notice. It was way too easy to be happy with River around, to let his guard down and just be calm about a whole bunch o’ things. Two of ‘em had been running around with the cattle and all, waitin’ around with the Cap’n and the Shepherd for them folks to show up and pay their coin for the beef. Problem was them buyers were wanted by the local law and in they come to take ‘em away, startin’ a gun fight the likes o’ which Jayne hadn't been in for a good long while. ‘Course that didn’t mean he forgot none how to handle himself. Problem wasn’t him, nor even the law. Problem was River.

Little woman could fight like no other he ever saw, even better than what he seen Zoe do since he been aboard Serenity, but his bao bei weren’t no fan of guns. All the pops and cracks had her in a state fast enough, but then it got worse. When the smoke cleared, seemed the only injured party amongst ‘em was the one other who’s hand never touched metal.

“Preacher!” Mal dived to help the fella out with a wound to the shoulder.

Jayne knew he oughta be pitchin’ in his ownself but there weren’t no way for him to leave River. She started cowering against the fence, talking a mile a minute, to herself, as far as Jayne could tell. He was used to that, but that weren’t all there was to it, not this time. He saw that look in her eyes, one he had seen no more’n twice since Osiris. She was losin’ it, big time, and Jayne had a nasty feelin’ that he weren’t goin’ to be able to bring her back without some help.

“River? Bao bei, c’mon now. Ain’t got no time for this!” he said, trying his best to get her focus back - it was impossible.

“No, no, no!” she yelled, hands at her head, fingers digging in amongst her hair.

The nails she had grown drew blood from her scalp, and every time Jayne took a hold of her she spun away. He was barely hearin’ whatever words she was yellin’. Made no sense by now anyhow. She started lashin’ out. Arms and legs came flyin’, nails and teeth. Jayne didn’t do scared, but he knew what this was, and he didn't mind admittin’ he weren’t at all comfortable about it.

Whether it was Book gettin’ shot or just a coincidence, Jayne didn’t have time to figure. River’s eyes were dark and glazed over. She weren’t hearin’ nor seein’ a thing no more, nothin’ that weren’t in her head anyhow. With an ache in his heart, Jayne reached deep down into his boot and pulled out the syringe he always carried. River knew, she always knew. She was the one who had him never quite give up their back up plan. She needed the safety net more than he did, but now there was no choice. He had no help and the Shepherd could bleed out waitin’ on ‘em.

“I’m sorry, bao-bei,” he told River so softly she couldn’t possibly have head over her own screaming as he tried to hold her steady and plunged the needle into her arm. “I’m all kindsa sorry.”


	11. Chapter 11

“No use standin’ there, hatin’ on yourself,” said Zoe, not even looking up from her work. “You did what you had to.”

Jayne heard what she said but he didn’t know how to reply. Didn’t feel the need to say a word. He was stood by the second bed in the infirmary, large hands engulfing River’s tiny fingers and palm, waiting for her to wake. He had thought to take her to their room, but somehow it seemed better for her to be here. Sure’n when she woke she might just freak out on him, but Jayne felt better, knowin’ he was in a medical place since he had to put those drugs into her. Ai ya, he hated himself for that, no matter what Zoe said. ‘Course it was easier not to think about it at all.

“He gonna live?” Jayne asked instead, barely glancing over at Book's still form.

Zoe paused too long before she answered. “I done what I can. Basic field surgery,” she admitted. “All we can do now is wait for... for the doctor.”

Jayne closed his eyes a second, then looked back to River. He moved one hand to her face, pushing back her hair. Poor little woman. Couldn’t figure on what made her set off into so bad a fit after so long. Figured maybe it was the Shepherd gettin' hurt or just too many guns fired around her. She always got a might upset when the bullets flew, but this was a whole other thing. Oughta known by now how it all worked, how her mind knew things it shouldn’t, that it was almost always somethin' inside that set her off rather than what was really happenin’.

Simon was gone. Poor little Kaylee had come runnin’ back from town, all tears and panic. Her face was scratched up and her overalls torn. Obvious she had struggled with someone or something. Seemed some fellas had come for the doc, wanted to take him away. When Kaylee tried to fight with ‘em they pushed her off, left her behind with a bump on her head. She had been crowded into the infirmary a while back, but Zoe was pretty sure she’d be all well and good in time. It was the rest that was the worry, Book and River, and Simon, o’ course.

Wash had gone out lookin’. He rode the mule out to town, takin’ the route that Kaylee had given him. Been gone nigh on a couple of hours now. Jayne figured he’d be back soon, either with Simon in tow or knowing where they all might go find him. So far nothin’.

River made a sound in her sleep, shifted a little on the bed. Jayne gripped her hand gently but firmly, ran his fingers through her hair.

“Hey now, little woman,” he said, soft as anything. “Time to wake up.”

She came to all of a sudden, eyes wider than Jayne ever saw ‘em before. He wondered for a second if she was gonna kick off again, but no. She stared straight up, right through him to the ceiling, he reckoned, and then one tear crept down her pale cheek.

“River-girl?” he said, cupping her face with his hand.

“She is fine,” she said eventually, closing her eyes a moment, leaning into Jayne’s touch. “She’ll live. More than can be said for others,” she added, turning suddenly to look regretfully at Book on the other bed.

Zoe had moved to wash up, no longer blocking the view. A large pad covered the area around the Shepherd’s shoulder. It hadn’t been fixed there long but already blood was seeping through the white.

“He’ll make it,” said Jayne with more confidence than he felt. “Preacher man’s stronger than he looks, I reckon.”

“Sometimes have to be,” said River, cryptic as ever.

Jayne looked to her then, reacted fast when she tried to sit up so quick she almost fell back again. His hands went to her shoulders, steadied her. River smiled a small smile.

“Can’t stay,” she said, thinking to shake her head but not daring to do it, sure it would make the aching worse. “Can’t.”

“You wanna go back to our room, bao bei?” Jayne checked, assuming she just didn't want to be around the injured fella she come to care for these past weeks, as she had the whole o’ the crew, truth be known.

“Can’t!” she repeated more urgently, like maybe he ought to know what that meant.

Her eyes went to the door long before Wash put in an appearance, like she knew he was coming. Most like she did. Zoe looked from her husband to River and Jayne then back, ushering the pilot out into the other room. River practically leapt from the bed to go after them and Jayne gave chase. 

“It’s like I told Mal, I looked all over,” Wash explained, mindful of what exactly he was saying in front of River most particularly. “Talk in town is that the hillfolk take people sometimes, professional types. Doctors and such that they need,” he said, looking sideways at River and Jayne.

The big galoot had his arm around her slim shoulders, clearly mindful of keepin’ her calm and bringin’ her comfort both. She lost so much already, from her parents to her mind, and just about everything in between. Now her brother was gone, and they none of them had an idea how to get him back.

Strange calmness that seemed to come over River was almost more unsettlin’ than if she had another of her fits, or so Jayne reckoned. He said nothin’, waited for River to react her ownself. When nothin’ was said nor done for a minute or more, he squeezed her tighter to him and kissed the top of her head.

“Ain’t sure what to say for the best,” said Zoe. “What’d the Cap’n reckon?”

“He didn’t say much,” her husband admitted. “Told me to come and tell you how it was, break the news to everyone,” he said, with a significant look in River and Jayne’s direction. “How’s the Shepherd?” he asked then.

Zoe’s mouth said nothing, but the look on her face said everything.

“He needs a doctor, that much we know for sure,” Jayne said eventually. “An’ we ain't leavin’ this rock without Simon.”

River looked up at him with a watery smile and even more watery eyes. Lover and guh-guh had never been the best of friends. Got along, mostly for her, but she knew better than to think they loved like real family. Made amends for her sake, that was all. No real love lost between the two. If they left Serenity to go find Simon now, there might be no coming back. Her hand reached out to the wall. It looked like steadying herself, but no. Her sweet caress of metal was goodbye, for now. Not quite forever, she hoped.

“Folks, we got ourselves a situation,” said Mal as he strode into the middle of the scene. “Fact of the matter is, we got us more’n one.”

“Easy decisions to make,” River cut in fast, meeting the Captains eyes, “and Daddy knows best.”

* * *

Jayne Cobb was born to be a tracker. That and a gunslinger. Least he reckoned so. River sure didn’t seem to argue the fact at all. Though she was the one who saw in other folks heads and all, she let him do the work when they went out into Jiangyin proper, looking to find Simon. Maybe she’d be some use along the way, but for now, she only wanted to follow his lead, trusted him to find the brother they had both lost.

Serenity was long gone. Book needed help that none aboard could give. 'Twas Inara who pushed Mal into heading for the nearest Alliance cruiser. The Magellan wasn’t far off, far enough it wouldn’t notice the little Firefly if it never come callin’, but in times like this, there weren’t no choice in the matter. You didn’t let good men die if’n you didn’t have to, and Book had been good people for as long as they’d known him, if not a might less Preacher-like than some at times. Jayne still weren’t entirely sure what to make o’ that.

“All secrets and lies,” said River, walking alongside him. “Everyone with a tale to tell.”

Jayne smiled some, knowin’ she read his thoughts clean out of his head again. That’d been a might unsettlin’ at the start of all this, more than a might, truth be told, but it was different now. He’d gotten used to her, to bein’ as much a part of her as she was a part of him. Connected as they was in body most of the time, made sense that they might be connected in mind too. Jayne found it all kindsa useful not havin’ to put everythin’ into words all o’ the time. T’weren’t his strong suit anyhow.

“Ain’t secrets I’m worried for here and now,” he admitted as they trekked on through the trees and underbrush. “’M thinkin’ more on the truth o’ the matter, the facts bein’ what they is.”

He stopped walking so suddenly, even River couldn’t anticipate it. They were people of action aboard the ship, one and all. Though River was a great thinker and her brother the same, she had learnt to act when needed, to do what must be done, as Jayne always did. Sometimes actions were more important, louder than words, over-riding all else. Simon was to be found, and the Preacher man healed. Only way was for those wanted by the Alliance to leave the ship for as long as it took. River knew Mal had thought of it but didn’t like to ask. She didn’t make him. Said the words that stuck in his throat and made it easy. Easier, at least.

Now she wished to make things better for her Jayne-man, but that wouldn’t come so easy. Actions would speak louder here too, but there wasn’t the time for all her body wished to say. All she could do was put her arms around him, her head to his chest to hold on tight a while. He hugged her back, and all was safe and calm. Then she lifted her head, looked up and met his troubled eyes. So much torment, like the sea unable to settle in a storm. She shook her head just slightly, reached up to pull his head down and crushed her lips against his own a moment or two. Needed him to know, needed him to understand.

“She is fine,” she promised when they parted, her hands still clasping his face. “She needed what he gave. Needed help, lost control. He is not the villain.”

“Feel like one,” he admitted sadly. “May as well be after all I did in my life. Swore on everythin’ I was and had I weren’t gonna hurt you, bao bei, not ever.”

“She is not hurt,” she assured him again, fighting to use the right words in such moments as these when it mattered most, but her mind was still fogged up from before. “She... I am fine,” she forced herself to say. “You helped. Always help.”

She could smile for him, she could comb her fingers through his hair and hope he understood, but explaining with words was so hard sometimes. Everything jumbled, got confused. All that was true and real and clear was the love she felt. For him, from him. It overpowered everything and ran like her namesake through the centre of all else, unhindered by anything, unstoppable.

“C’mon, now,” said Jayne at last, planting one more kiss on River’s lips. “Let’s go find that brother o’ yours.”

“He takes so much looking after.” River sighed, rolling her eyes at what ought to be a playful joke.

'Twas all a might more serious than that, they both knew it. Jayne had a notion maybe the Cap’n would realise life without fugees aboard was a darn sight easier for him and his crew. Couldn’t blame him none if’n he left them all here on Jiangyin. ‘Course River said she knew he’d be back, that they’d all be headin’ home together when this adventure was done. Jayne always lived by his instincts and his gut. Since meetin’ River, he learned that he was still right to do so, unless she said somethin’ different. She outranked even his own good sense, dangerous as that might seem. She said everythin’ was gonna work out, then it surely would, but right now on this trail to nowhere, with no place to run when they did get her gorram brother back, Jayne wasn’t so sure he knew how she could be so confident.


	12. Chapter 12

It wasn’t so bad really.

Simon had been scared and confused when the kidnappers came. At first he had thought only to protect Kaylee if he could, but they were pulled apart so savagely and the bag put over his head so fast, he really didn’t know what happened to her at all. They assured him later that she was fine, they hadn’t done her so much harm, and had left her free to go. Simon hoped rather than believed that they spoke the truth.

Being here didn’t bother him much. At least he was proving useful to his kidnappers, to those he had been brought to. The sick and the injured of the hills wanted a doctor. They seemed unable or unwilling to request help and so had kidnapped him to come do their bidding. It was almost easy to forget he was here against his will, that he ought to feel scared or trapped. Of course he thought of River and wondered what would happen with her in his absence, but Simon concentrated mostly on his patients, on doing the best he could for each of them. It was what he was taught for, built for, in a way, he supposed. It was his vocation in life that had been snatched cruelly away by fate and destiny. Perhaps this was their way of giving it back to him. God was supposed to move in mysterious ways after all, Doralee had said as much. The teacher-cum-nurse was kind enough, for an accessory to a kidnapping, but as Simon had pointed out, it was men who brought him here, not God. Now he was wondering if the divine did have a hand in this situation, if perhaps he was supposed to be here, just like this.

“Try to keep your weight off it a while,” he told the patient he just finished tending, fixing the bandage in place on her foot.

She nodded thanks as he stood up and stretched out his aching back. Simon glanced round the makeshift infirmary. For the first time in a long time, he felt like a doctor. It was by no means a bad feeling. Aboard Serenity, he was a medic of a kind, but minor bullet wounds, cuts and bruises could all have been dealt with just as easily without him. In this place, at least he was useful, helpful, needed. It was so much more than he felt in his new home. River and Jayne had a purpose. A reader and a fighter were always going to be of use in the Captain’s type of business. A doctor could be needed, sometimes, perhaps, but not often, not regularly. With all of them being fugitives from Osiris, it was almost too much of a risk to be aboard unless they were of great use. More than once, Simon considered he might have been better off staying home. River and Jayne could have coped well enough without him, and he would have had his career at least. He wondered if he had done the right thing giving up everything for people who didn’t really need him at all.

A scuffle outside the doors of the so-called hospital caught Simon’s attention then. He turned to go and see what was happening, but Doralee got in his way. She had barely reached the door herself when it swung inwards with a force, hardly allowing her a chance to move away before two men came tumbling in, both unconscious on the ground.

“Lord have mercy!” she gasped at the sight.

Simon did not attend to what might have been patients. His eyes were fixed on the next two people to enter, those that must have caused the first two to fall.

“Hey now, Doc!” said Jayne, grinning wide. “Got yourself into a spot o’ trouble now, ain’t ya?”

“Guh-guh!” River cried happily, running to hug Simon tightly. “Found you,” she declared, like a proud child who just won a game of hide and seek.

“You did,” he agreed, unable to keep from smiling, “but I don’t understand. How did you...?”

“Best tracker in the business,” said River proudly, gesturing towards Jayne. “And Captain Daddy will be back soon. Just need to get away.”

“What is going on?” asked Doralee, coming over to interrupt the whispered conversation.

“Oh, this is River, my sister, and Jayne, her... um, significant other,” he said awkwardly.

Doralee looked from one to the other with an expression showing something not unlike distaste. Neither River nor Jayne paid no mind to her looks nor nothing else about her. They hadn’t a plan to stay in such a place anyhow. They came for Simon and that was that.

“Well, if you’re fixing to stay for a visit, I can have another bed made up at the doctor’s house, I suppose,” said the teacher, though her face weren’t as friendly as her offer.

“Ain’t fixin’ to stay long,” said Jayne archly.

River put a hand to his chest and met his eyes. She knew what he was thinking, she always did. Of course she knew what most people were thinking, a not small part of the time. Her eyes travelled from Jayne to Doralee in one smooth movement and her looks grew fierce.

“You don’t know,” she said sharply.

“Excuse me?” said Doralee, clearly confused. “What don’t I know, little one?”

“The truth, of anything,” River told her without pause. “How to help. What they are. Where home truly lies.”

Simon was well aware that something was happening here, something that perhaps only River completely understood. She saw what was coming, or perhaps only what may happen next. Certainly she was reading Doralee and the other woman looked quite upset by it all.

“River,” he said gently, trying to get her attention and failing badly. “River, this isn’t...”

Her head twisted sharply to the side, to look at another person in the room. Simon could barely make out the figure of a child in the dark. A little girl, they said her name was Ruby. She hadn’t spoken in a long while, a mute apparently. Simon could do little for her, he wasn’t a psychologist, but if River could see inside her head...

“Afraid,” she said softly. “Voice got scared away.”

“How could she know that?” asked Doralee, though no-one paid any mind at all.

Simon and Jayne were both focused on River alone as she read the little girl like a book.

“Mother lost control. One sister died, the other lived. Ruby doesn’t like red anymore. Has no words, only dark thoughts and silence. She understands.”

River stared intently at Ruby who looked back at her with just as intense a gaze. Simon didn’t know what to think or say. He shared a glance of concern with Jayne but it was all too late.

“And they shall be among the people, and they shall speak truths and whisper secrets, and you will know them by their crafts. Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live!”

* * *

“Makes me a might nervous though, sir,” said Zoe, shaking her head. “We take on four passengers and not a one of ‘em has turned out to be exactly what they seem.”

“And who in the gorram ‘verse does anymore?” the Captain asked her, arms folded across his chest. “Now I surely agree that the Preacher havin’ the kind of credentials that gets him the best care and attention at an Alliance facility puts me in mind to ask a few questions of the man when he’s good and well enough to be asked, but as to the rest? They’re part of this crew now. They made themselves all kindsa useful to me. I gave my word we was goin’ back, so we’re goin’.”

He looked up as Inara appeared down the stairs, smiling as she heard him. Clearly she approved of what he was saying, of what he was doing. Zoe nodded her head and went back to Wash on the bridge.

“It’s amazing how quickly it happens,” said Inara, standing by Mal.

“What’s that now?”

“How quickly a person can become part of the family, part of Serenity,” she said, looking fondly around the interior of the ship. “I knew you would never leave them behind.”

“Folks grow on ya, I guess,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, but the slight curve of his lips gave him away, and they both knew it.

“Er, Cap’n?” Wash called via the comms. “Not sure this is going to be so much of a pick-up as a rescue,” he declared, looking down at the scene planetside.

“Tyen shiao duh!” Mal muttered as he headed for the bridge. “Why does it never run smooth!”

* * *

“Hey, Doc,” said Jayne, coming upon the boy in the cargo bay. “Whatcha doin’-? Da shiong la se la ch'wohn tian!” he cussed loudly, backing up real sudden when the Doc turned on him with a gun in his hand. “What in the gorram hell you doin’, boy?”

“I’m sorry.” Simon shook his head, lowering the weapon and then giving up altogether and lying it down on Jayne’s own work-out bench. “I’m sorry,” he said, sinking down to sit beside it, his head in his hands.

It’d been a hell of a ride these past few days. Jayne didn’t wonder at the Doc being jumpy and all, but the last thing he expected was to come down here and find the boy with a piece in his hand. That weren’t Simon, but then he hadn’t seemed much like himself at all since the kidnapping. Was more’n a day now since the little Firefly came flyin’ over Jiangyin, lights blazing, crew all armed and dangerous. They played the Big Damn Heroes that Mal and Zoe surely was since the war, rescuing Jayne, Simon, and River all. T’weren’t often Jayne had needed rescuing in his life, but that had been one o’ the few times. He wasn’t so armed as he would’ve liked to been, and that town had a whole lot of folk, hell bent on burning a witch at the stake. He and Simon would’ve gone along into the hell fire with River if’n they had to, though Jayne was cultivatin’ a plan even then. In the end, it hadn’t mattered. The crew had come to get ‘em back, just like Mal promised. Just like River always knew they would.

“I’m useless,” said Simon, out of the blue.

Jayne frowned at that. “Doctor ain’t useless to nobody.”

“A doctor is of limited use in any situation that matters around this place,” said Simon, looking out at the world from between his fingers. “What can I do, Jayne? What use was I on Jiangyin? What use when the crew is... is committing crime or running from the law? I can't fly a spaceship or corral cattle or be in a fight of any kind! I am useless!” he declared angrily, standing up and kicking a crate so hard it ought to have shattered, and yet in fact it barely budged an inch nor showed a mark.

There was nothing Jayne could think to say to him. Simon made a good point. Not a thing that the Doc said was untrue when it came to stuff he couldn’t do, but that didn’t make him useless exactly. ‘Course Jayne was startin’ to see why he might think so and t’weren’t lost on him how ironical the situation was.

“Y’know, ain’t exactly unfamiliar to me to feel useless myownself,” said Jayne, sitting himself down aside Simon now. “I hardly did go to school as a kid. Never really saw no point when I could be helpin’ my Pa back home and all. ‘Sides, I weren’t good at neither spellin’ nor cypherin’. At that kinda thing, I was the useless one, but I found plenty else I could do. Trackin’, shootin’, punchin’ my way outta trouble, and drinkin’ any man alive under the table,” he said proudly, so proudly in fact that Simon couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I’d be damn useless in that fancy world you come from, Doc, or so you’d think, but your folks hired me anyway. Found my worth on Osiris, and you’ll find yours here,” insisted.

Simon nodded, knowing he had a point, knowing that he did have prupose here, in a way. Just not quite the purpose he could find elsewhere perhaps.

“Would you do something for me, Jayne?” he asked after a moment, reaching for the gun he had abadoned before. “Teach me how to use this?”

Jayne frowned at the question, clearly not at all happy in answering it.

“You sure on that?” he said eventually. “I ain’t sayin’ a man didn’t ought to know how to defend hi’self and his kinfolk, but there’s a whole other side to takin’ hold of a gun and meanin’ to take a life.”

“I don’t particularly want to kill anyone.” Simon shook his head. “But if you can teach me to aim true, perhaps I would never have to. Perhaps a genuine threat, or even a warning shot would be enough. I just need to know I can do... something. In that kind of sitaution, I can’t stand to be that useless again”

“You got yourself a deal, doc.” Jayne nodded. “You wanna learn, I’ll teach ya.”

“Thank you.” Simon smiled. “And should you ever feel the need to learn spelling and mathematics...”

“I’ll ask your sister,” said Jayne with a leer. “She’s got a better rewards system for me than you’d ever have” he said, laughing lecherously.

Simon put his face back in his hands and forced his brain to think of anything else!


	13. Chapter 13

“Hey now, you fellas get a mark on my boat, we gonna find ourselves havin’ a falling out.”

“Ain’t a problem, Cap’n,” Jayne assured him. “Me an’ the Doc ain’t wastin’ no bullets. This is disarming practice,” he explained with a grin.

Mal nodded that he understood and tried not to smirk as he turned and walked away. They were planetside for a job but didn’t need to be anywhere for a while yet. This far out of town, Triumph weren’t much more than mile on mile of dust and nothin’. Nobody would hear a shot fired and they sure’n wouldn’t pay no mind to a couple of fellas scuffling in the dirt behind a Firefly. ‘Sides, Mal didn’t mind the idea so much of the doc learnin’ to defend himself. He was the only one aboard who didn’t seem capable of taking care of his ownself, since surprisingly even the Shepherd seemed to know his fist from his elbow. Couldn’t hurt for Simon to know which end of a piece was what, nor how to get away should some kidnappers decide they wanna take him away again. That kind of thing was never gonna sit well with his mei mei nor Jayne apparently.

Mal weren’t sure he was ever gonna have a full understandin’ of how such a band of folks came to care for one another and be out in the black like they were, and he’d heard the story. Was still a might odd to him, but then Mal supposed each of the crew aboard had their own tale to tell, himself included. Sometimes it was best not to ask too may questions nor wonder on things too much. Let things be, they often worked themselves out in the end.

This he was thinking as he walked back up the ramp into the ship, glancing up onto the catwalk when he saw the swoosh of pretty skirts. Inara graced him with a smile before moving away, following River somewhere or other. Womenfolk and their ways, it was the biggest mystery in the ‘verse to Mal. He and Inara, that was a whole mess that never did so much work itself out and probably never would, but there was still no use worrying on it, he supposed.

“Cap’n?” said Zoe, approaching from the stairs. “We about set to head out?” she checked, double-checking the fastening on the strap at her wrist without so much as glancing down.

“Been thinkin’ on this plan we got,” said Mal, considering it some more even now. “Thinkin’ maybe we need a third man.”

“Cobb?”

“Mebbe. How’d that sit with you?”

“He has a way with a gun.”

“He does that.” Mal nodded and smirked. “You should see him and the doc out there. Seems the young doctor has a mind to not let himself be nabbed nor taken for a fool again.”

“A little combat training couldn’t hurt,” Zoe agreed, smiling a little herself. “Though might be safer if he stuck to doctoring for the most part.”

“Can’t argue with that. You wanna bring Cobb in to talk tactics? Think I need words with Miss River about her menfolk while I got the chance.”

Zoe nodded in comfirmation and headed out, whilst Mal hurried up the stairs and went in search of the womenfolk. He looked about in the galley, tried the engine room, and was about to head down to the passenger dorms when he heard a whole lot of laughter coming out of the Companion’s shuttle. Moving up to the door, Mal cleared his throat and knocked, though he barely waited for the invitation before he let himself in.

The women all stopped their giggling the moment he was present, though their smiles remained. Mal hadn’t a mind to ask what their talk had been of. Most like he was better off not knowing. The looks on their faces were enough to be worrisome to any fella that stumbled across their secret talks.

“’Scuse me, ladies, but I need a word with our Miss River,” he said, looking to the little woman in question.

“She is avialble to converse, Captain,” she said, rising gracefully from the pile of throw pillows and curtseying prettily before following him out into the corridor.

Mal closed the door to the shuttle behind them both, and folded his arms across his chest. River looked him over, head cocking to one side as she stared.

“Take it you know your fella has a mind to teach your brother to defend himself?” he asked, trying not to look a might creepyfied by the way he was bein’ stared at.

River smiled and he didn’t want to know why.

“He’s such a boob,” she said, complete with sigh and eye roll, “but means well. Simon is out of place, out of his world. Wants to fit when he should better stand apart.”

“That’s as maybe.” Mal nodded, not entirely sure he had followed every word she said, but perhaps getting the gist at least. “Fact o’ the matter is, I got no problem with his having some kind of skills that way, but what I don’t want is any unpleasantness. You tell me true, little one, since you’re his sister as well as the only one aboard this boat that sees inside other folks heads-”

“There is no danger,” she interrupted swiftly. “Brother means no harm to those aboard and will use his skills for good only. Much as she and Jayne-man do.”

Mal saw steel in her eyes and heard it just the same in her voice. T’weren’t no doubt that this young woman, her face and body like a fine china doll, had the heart of a lioness beating in her chest. More’n once she put Mal in mind of his own dear Ma, perhaps as she might’ve been when she were so much younger.

“Alright then,” he said, nodding his head. “Speakin’ of your fella, might have a use for him on this job today. You think that’d sit okay with him?”

“If there is coin to be made and guns to be fired,” she admitted, rolling her eyes as she trudged back to Inara’s shuttle door. “Sometimes, all men are boobs.”

* * *

The job went off without a hitch and Jayne weren’t sorry to have played a part in it. Course he had hoped his take’d be a share of the coin, but t’weren’t too much cold hard cash floating around on Triumph. Instead he was told he and his would be fed well the next few nights from the food handed over to the Captain by Elder Gomman, and was offered a long stick that when turned made the sound of rain. He was less than impressed, at least until the liquor started flowing.

By the time he staggered back aboard Serenity sometime after the world had long turned dark, Jayne had come to believe his was the greatest of all prizes.

“There’s my little woman!” he slurred some, falling ungracefully towards the bed where River sat. “Miss me, bao bei?”

“Imbibed too much,” she said, rolling her eyes but smiling just the same. “Does not know even left from right,” she noted, placing her sketch pad and pencils to one side and helping drag the rest of Jayne onto the bed.

“Y’know the fancier you talk the sexier you is to me?” he told her, laughing and leering all at once.

River didn’t answer that. As much as her Jayne-man desired it, it would do neither of them any good tonight. As inebriated as he was, little would be achieved here but sleep, she was sure of that. It might have been a shame, but quite honestly, she wasn’t really in the mood to be either romantic or lustful tonight.

A day spent in the company of the other women pleased her well enough. On good days she walked and talked just as they did, brushed her hair, danced on her toes, practiced elegant penmanship. It was easy to forget the world had changed. She might have been at the house on Osiris, in the company of her peers, though the grease marks on Kaylee’s face gave her away as no real lady. She was perhaps River’s favourite aboard ship in any case, a sister in more ways than one. Someday in a whole other way if Simon could ever see past the end of his stethoscope.

River smiled, looking down at Jayne who was already eight three percent of the way towards sleep. Nobody here was all as they seemed. Kaylee in grease was more princess than anyone. Simon was hero in coward’s clothing. The Shepherd had claws too.

The smile turned to a frown on River’s pretty face, a shudder running through her. All was not as it seemed in more ways than she could quantify. Now was not the time, no time, no way, no escape, not yet. Closing her eyes, she lay down beside Jayne and curled her body around his own. His arm went automatically and protectively over her. Listening to his breathing, feeling it run through her, River lulled herself into a false sense of security and into slumber for now.

She sat up with a start the next morning, feeling as if she almost hadn’t ever been asleep at all, though many hours had clearly past. Beside her, Jayne slept on, dead to the world with his arm slung across her legs. River could not say what exactly woke her. She only knew something wasn’t right, in fact, it was altogether wrong, and couldn’t be ignored a moment longer.

With the grace of a cat, she slid from under Jayne’s hold and flipped from the bed, moving out into the hallway without a sound. Much of the ship was in relative darkness as the rest of the crew slept on. Lights were only just now beginning to come on, substitution daylight whilst vessel-side. River didn’t care about dark or light, she saw in her mind’s eye that something was amiss and it was her complete focus.

Slipping down the corridor unnoticed, she felt with her mind more than her hands or feet, though both were constantly reaching out across the floor and the walls.

Into the cargo bay, quiet as a mouse, she moved, light increasing all the time. She felt a presence, more than one, and one that should never be here. As her feet moved on the grated floor, a shadow passed by. River never flinched, just swung out an arm which Mal caught with ease.

“Hey, now,” he said sharply, meeting River’s flashing eyes. “You okay there, little one?” he checked, mindful that she may be sleep-walking or not altogether in her right mind in this moment.

River took no offence to what might’ve been an accusation, felt no concern about the niggling fear she knew Mal felt because she was always an unknown factor, always.

“Affirmative,” she said, nodding once, letting her arms fall from his grasp. “Not alone,” she added, eyes darting left and right.

Her meaning was clear, and though Mal knew she could be feeling the presence of something existing only in her mind, as had happened before, he wasn’t taking any chances. His hand went to the pistol at his hip, and his eyes roamed over the shadowy corners of the cargo bay.

“Somebody here, best show yourself now!” he called out, tone as stern as any Captain could ever be.

“She is a liar,” said River then, catching his attention. “She is a liar and no good will come of her.”

She seemed to Mal to be staring off into nothing when she spoke. Made him wonder if little River had a notion to call herself out on fabricating things, and yet, he almost thought he felt some other person here, some presence aboard his vessel that didn’t ought to be there.

Just when he was about to call out again for whoever was there to show themselves, a little red-headed slip of a thing made herself known, appearing from behind the cargo brought aboard from Triumph.

“Now who do we have here?” he asked curiously, lowering his gun for the moment but keeping his trigger finger poised. “You got a reason for sneaking aboard my boat?”

“I believe there’s been some misunderstanding, sir,” she said, demure and shy as anybody Mal ever saw. “My name is Saffron. I... I’m your wife.”

“Huh,” said Mal, looking as dumb-struck as he felt.

River only laughed.

* * *

“I miss somethin’?”

Jayne came lumbering from the room, not as hungover as some might’ve been after the amount he put away last night. He reckoned somebody sending a message over the comms had brought him around and his little woman was already gone. Now that he found her on his way to the cargo bay, she didn’t look altogether right.

“Liar and a tramp!” she said, folding her arms across her chest.

Jayne frowned hard, then wished he hadn’t when his head protested some.

“We got what now?”

“Another member of the crew,” Simon explained, appearing by his sister. “It would seem that in payment for all your services on Triumph, the Captain has gained a wife.”

“Gao yang jong duh goo yang!” Jayne cursed colourfully as ever he had. “Ain’t as if I come from the most civilised o’ places, but ain’t no sellin’ o’ girlfolk into marriage when you run outta coin. Wouldn’t happen to no sister o’ mine.”

“I assume the women in the maiden house have no choice. No blood relatives to protect them, perhaps, or families that would sooner give up a baby girl to be raised elsewhere than try to afford to keep her,” Simon presumed, clinical in his explanation as the doctor often was. “I couldn’t imagine being so cold nor so desperate myself.”

He wandered away still thinking on that topic, leaving Jayne and River alone. She looked all kinds of pissed and for the life of him, Jayne couldn’t say why she oughta be. Mebbe she had thoughts about the rights o’ womenfolk that made her so mad, but t’weren’t as if he nor her brother agreed with treating them so bad, and they said as much already.

“Bao bei?” he said, his hand at her tense shoulder. “You okay there?”

“She is fine,” River confirmed, finding a smile, seemingly shaking off whatever had come over her moments before. “It is nothing of concern to us. Captain does not want his wife. She’ll be gone soon,” she said brightly, reaching up to kiss Jayne’s cheek.

She practically skipped off down the hallway from him, leaving her man to stare after her, wondering what just happened. Curiosity over the situation with Mal overtook him then and he wandered out into the cargo bay to get a look at the bride, if he could. Seemed the party was all broken up.

“I’m afraid you missed the excitement,” said Book, the only one left there now. “Apparently we are to welcome the new Mrs Reynolds aboard ship.”

“So I hear.” Jayne nodded. “That all legal and proper?”

“As far as it’s possible to tell, the marriage ceremony of the Triumph Settlers was performed between the parties. Every place and culture is different, which is why it’s likely the Captain had no idea he was being wed.”

“Huh,” said Jayne, inarticulate as ever.

He scratched the stubble on his chin, and Book watched him, trying to decipher is such a look on Jayne’s face meant he was in deep thought or just trying not to soil himself. It was often hard to tell the difference, he found.

“Perhaps the young lady might find a friend in River?” Book suggested then. “For all of her abilities and struggles, she is such a polite and generous girl. I’m sure Saffron would appreciate a companion for as long as she’s here.”

“Ain’t so sure River’s the type to be makin’ girly friends, Preacher man. ‘Sides, she didn’t seem all that impressed with the newcomer.”

“Oh? I wonder why that might be. Does she perhaps know something we don’t? Should we give some warning to the Captain?”

“River always knows plenty we don’t, but if’n she saw trouble comin’, she’d tell ya... or me, anyhow. Pretty sure we’re safe from some little girl picked up from the ass end o’ nowhere special.”

“Yes, let us hope so.”

Book smiled as he spoke, which Jayne took as a good thing. Honestly, the Shepherd was more than a little amused. River herself could be perceived as nothing more than a mere girl, a helpless waif, but that was simply untrue. She was a woman in more ways than one, and far more intuitive and powerful than a person might presume on first glance. The trio that had boarded Serenity when he did certainly intrigued Shepherd Book, but for the most part, he felt safe enough in their company, and sure it was the right thing for him to stay here on the ship with them. Though technically River, Jayne, and Simon were all fugitives, they had good reason to keep on running from those that wanted them back. God willing, they would be able to do just that, for as long as it took for them to find a safe place they might call home more permanently.

In the meantime, Book needed to speak with the Captain about his new wife. He had a sermon to give, a short but necessary one, about a certain special hell.


	14. Chapter 14

The ship was all a commotion since Saffron come aboard. Jayne was sure no one little girly girl ever caused such a stirring of folks, but then he thought of his River and all she could do, all the manner of confusion and bother she had brought into many a life and none so much as his. Jayne wouldn’t trade his little woman for the world, but gorramnit them womenfolk could cause no end o’ trouble, sometimes without even tryin’ all that hard!

As Jayne went seekin’ out River herself, he checked in at the bridge just in time to hear the second and her little man gettin’ into a real doozy of a fight. Next he went by Inara’s shuttle, sure he heard her cryin’ in there but not wantin’ to stop long enough to listen and know for sure. Best to keep movin’, find River and get to their own room where they couldn’t get dragged into no more dramas.

“Feel like I spent all day chasin’ you all over this gorram boat,” Jayne groused as he came upon her sat in the galley by herself.

T’wasn’t a meal time, breakfast was long over and dinner far off as far as he could tell, but there sat his little woman staring at the table just as if she expected a meal to miraculously appear. Hell, if that were a thing bound to happen, Jayne’d take up the habit right now, but it weren’t. 

“I know you got an all-powerful mind, bao-bei, but you can’t make food just happen like that,” he told her, before considering. “Can ya?” he checked.

“The Captain took a wife.”

River’s response had nothing to do with Jayne’s question or anything at all he said or thought in the last while. That wasn’t altogether unnatural for her, but still managed to catch Jayne unawares. He supposed he never would get used to it one hundred percent. Truth to tell, he kinda liked that. Made things a mite more interesting.

“Yeah, from what I saw o’ her, she ain’t bad to look at,” Jayne admitted, leaning on the back of the chair at the end of the table. “’Course she ain’t a patch on you, River-girl.”

It was as if she didn’t hear him at all. River just continued to sit and stare, her head tilted at an odd angle to her body, watching her own fingers prise crumbs out of the grooves in the old worn galley table. She could just be bored and her hands were making something to do, but that wasn’t much like her. River was all about the math, the science, the plan. There was always more goin’ on than a normal person could see. Just as like she was makin’ a scale model of the ship from those breadcrumbs, a hundred or thousand times smaller than Serenity actually was. Wouldn’t surprise Jayne if that was exactly what she was doin’, though he hadn’t a mind to ask.

“Captain and the girl. Pilot and Second. Guh-guh and Kaylee too, if his head ever escapes his pigu!”

She spoke so strongly in the last, making a sudden grab for a glass left idly on the corner of the table. River threw it hard and fast against the wall and watched it shatter into a thousand tiny shards. Jayne flinched just a little, glad nobody was there to see such a thing.

“What the hell’s gotten into you, little woman?”

“Everyone a pair, a mate, a life together,” she said then, laughing in a way that made Jayne wonder what the joke was, ‘cept even River didn’t seem to find it funny somehow. “They love, they become one, they... Jayne-man and River-girl! We!” she forced out the word she needed and hated having to fight so hard to find. “We are meant for life!” she declared, staring right into Jayne’s eyes.

Took him a minute to catch on, which weren’t altogether uncommon with Jayne, but when the penny finally dropped, his eyes were wider than canyons.

“You askin’ me to marry ya?”

At that, River finally smiled.

“He will accept?” she checked.

Jayne opened his mouth to answer but then closed it again real fast. That was more than enough to wipe the happiness from River’s face in a second.

“Feh feh pi goh!” she muttered crossly, jumping up from the table and storming out the far door.

“Hey, River!” he called after her. “I never said I wouldn’t! Gorramn, womenfolk!” he complained, wishing he had another glass to hand that he could throw hisownself.

“What happened here?” asked Book as he walked in moments after River walked out. “Was there some kind of accident?” he checked, noticing the broken glass and Jayne’s less-than-happy expression.

“T’weren’t no accident, that I know for sure,” he grumbled. “Fact of it is, might be all I do know in this gorramn minute. Preacher, you’re lucky you don’t get to socialise with womenfolk is all I can say.”

“Ah. I can assume then that yourself and River have had a lover’s quarrel as it were?”

“You can call it that. Gorramn crazy woman just asked me to marry her!” Jayne declared, wondering the next minute if he should’ve said as much. “I guess now you’re gonna give me some speech about how we shoulda been wed afore we ever took up bunkin’ together or some such.”

“Far be it for me to force my beliefs on others,” said Book, hands raised in mock-surrender. “It’s true that in my faith it is frowned upon to have carnal knowledge of another without the benefit of marriage, but it is for every man, and woman, to decide for themselves and make their peace with God their own way.”

“Me and God is alright, Preacher,” said Jayne, eyes raised momentarily to the ceiling. “’S me and River I gotta worry on. Why in the gorramn ‘verse would she wanna marry me anyhow?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck. “I ain’t no catch.”

“Perhaps the Captain’s marriage put the idea into her head, though I suspect the larger part of her reasoning would be simply because she loves you.”

It sounded so simple when he said it that way, and it weren’t as if Jayne didn’t know River loved him. He felt just exactly the same about her, even if’n he weren’t so good at sayin’ them kinda pretty things. River knew, she always knew. One of the best things about the two o’ them was that he never did have to tell her any of the mushy stuff he felt about her ‘cause she could tell just from lookin’ at him or whatever. ‘Parently she was pretty damn sure he wanted to be spliced to her too, and when the moment come for him to say as much, he didn’t. He couldn’t fix that, couldn’t go back and make it right. Jayne wasn’t so sure he should change it. Never did see his-self as the marryin’ kind, not since he was a young ‘un back on the homeworld. ‘Course, he never saw meetin’ River and feeling this way about her neither.

“Got me some thinkin’ to do, I reckon,” he muttered, walking by Book and out the door before another word was spoken.

“Yes, I believe you just might,” the Preacher said as he watched him go and then smiled.

* * *

Something weren’t right. Jayne weren’t always the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he knew when he was bein’ played, especially by a woman. Little Saffron was a pretty thing but she hadn’t the fire that the likes of River carried around inside. Weren’t near as smart neither, though he reckoned more than she claimed mebbe. When they come across each other on the catwalk, she seemed a might jittery, and then she started in on him with her wiles, sayin’ stuff about Mal not makin’ her wedding night all it should be. There was a time when Jayne woulda happily been any man that little Saffron wanted if’n it meant a night with her in his bunk, but that time had long since passed.

“Hey, I got me a woman already,” he told her. “Ain’t that I don’t appreciate the offer nor nothin’, but my bao bei and me, it ain’t... ‘S more than just gettin’ sexed.”

“Wow, that’s real romantic,” said Saffron, eyes turning to steel in a second.

Weren’t altogether enough warning for a man like Jayne to take note of, but when she spun a flying kick his way, he was fast enough to move outta the way. Then the action really kicked up a notch.

A yell went up and Jayne looked sideways in time to see his River come running from the bridge. She come flyin’ at Saffron like a wild cat, not givin’ the red-headed piece a chance to react before she knocked her upside the head. Jayne didn’t mean to be enjoying the show but couldn’t help it as the two women grappled some.

“Da shiong la se la Ch’wohn Tian!” yelled Wash as he came up from the bridge, just in the second that River knocked the other woman out. “Seriously, what is going on?”

“Wish I could tell ya,” said Jayne, looking to River for explanation.

“She was a liar. Bad plans being made. Accomplices with electrostatic pulse technology!”

“I’m sorry.” Wash shook his head when she looked at him. “I don’t... I’m having a little trouble understanding.”

“Seems maybe this one ain’t all she seemed,” said Jayne, peering down at Saffron who really did seem to be out for the count.

He nudged her shoulder with the tip of his boot and she didn’t flinch at all.

“Must be bound,” River insisted. “By rope and by law, or what passes for law.”

“Maybe we should talk to Mal about this,” considered Wash.

River rolled her eyes. “He requires luck for his task,” she told him, though explained no further.

The commotion had got attention from another quarter by now. Inara came out from her shuttle to ask what was going on. When she heard that Saffron had been trying to seduce Jayne because Mal would have none of her, and then from River that sabotage was Mrs Reynolds aim, she immediatly panicked as to the state of the Captain. None had ever seen the Companion move quite so fast as she did in getting to Mal’s bunk, whilst Wash decided maybe now was a good time to get back to the bridge. River looked to Jayne.

“She must be bound,” she repeated, glancing to Saffron. “Before it’s too late.”

“Figure we can manage that,” he said, lifting the woman’s limp body up from the ground as if she was nothin’ at all. “Reckon maybe your brother oughta take a look at her? Could be you’ve been the death of her, bao bei,” he said with a smile he couldn’t help.

“She knows her own strength.” River rolled her eyes. “Knows almost everything, he has said.”

Whatever fightin’ had happened with ‘em before, it seemed to be over now, or at the very least not mattering in such a circumstance. Jayne was glad o’ that, but he knew this whole marriage thing weren’t done. River was all kindsa hurt when he didn’t seem willin’. Looking at her now, havin’ borne witness to what she was capable of, and remembering all they’d been through up to here, Jayne wondered why he ever thought of not wantin’ to be tied to his little woman forever. Sure as the worlds turned, he wouldn’t wanna be with nobody else.

“Doc!” he called into the infirmary.

River started shushing him, for no good reason Jayne could see, at least until he got to the open door of the medical room and saw what she must’ve known was there. Kaylee moved away from Simon awful quick and the boy was blushing the colour of a tomato.

“Well, what we got goin’ on here?”

“No business of theirs,” River reminded her man, moving past him to the drawer and retrieving the medical tape.

“What’s going on?” Simon asked, as Jayne dumped the unconscious Saffron onto the bed.

“Kind of a long story, Doc, but your sister will tell it to ya. Seems she knows more about it than most.”

* * *

Mal took great pleasure in riding along in the shuttle when Inara flew them out to the nearest back-water moon so they could dump Saffron there for good. When she had come to, she had no choice but to confess her plans to him, and to the fact their marriage weren’t nothing but lies. She was no longer welcome aboard Serenity and if she ever showed her face again was guaranteed to be riddled with holes for her trouble.

“Such is marriage sometimes,” said River sadly, watching from the viewport as the shuttle flew out of sight.

“Only when one o’ you is a thief and a liar, I reckon,” said Jayne from beside her. “Ain’t gonna be like that for us two.”

River’s eyes were wide as anything when she turned to look at him then. Jayne had almost expected her to know what he would say afore he said it. Oftentimes she did, but he figured that making his decision so fast as they just stood standing here, maybe he would have her fooled. Seemed so.

“He speaks of him and her?” she checked, gesturing between them. “Truly?”

“You ever known me not speak the truth to you, River-girl?” he checked. “Even afore we was bunkin’ together?”

She smiled, knowing he was right. For all that Jayne Cobb may be known in the ‘verse for being a lying, under-handed deceiver when necessary, with her he had always been truthful, and a gentleman until such time as he didn’t need to be anymore. Nobody in the ‘verse could be more suited to her as she was now, that River knew of herself. She was damaged, but Jayne made her feel whole. Together they were one being and stronger for it. They made sense in a world that made none to River most of the time.

“Er, I done talked to the Shepherd before,” said Jayne then. “He knows all the words to be said, make it legal enough, if’n you still wanna...”

She didn’t need more words about words. River knew she wanted Jayne, only him, always, forever. She threw herself into him, lips crashing into his own, arms and legs both tied around his muscular frame. He caught onto her easy enough, not fit to argue with her kissing on him like that. For as long as it lasted he went right along with it.

“He understands why it matters,” said River when they finally broke for air, her body still gripping tight to his own. “Feels the same,” she said, nodding her head, sure in her statement, not asking questions of him anymore.

“Ain’t much for fancy words, bao bei. You know that well and good,” he told her, “but yeah, I’m all in for this adventure with ya.”

That earned him another searing kiss, but no more. When he suggested such a thing, she struggled back to her feet and for maybe the first time ever told him no. Everything else was to be kept until the wedding night. He looked confused a spell until she confirmed that would be the night to follow this day, and sent him to find the preacher fast.

It was a small affair, by virtue of the fact it had to be. Jayne asked Simon to stand up with him and Kaylee attended River. They wore normal clothes, would eat a normal dinner after, but that didn’t matter. River knew no fancy dress nor flowers in her hair would improve her day. She didn’t need a band, a church, a great ‘shindig’ as those aboard would call it. She only needed Jayne, forever, always, that was the point.

It took a lot for her to find the right words to say, to make it right and correct in tense and pronouns. She struggled with it still, but made an effort for this, for him. They said mostly words repeated from the Shepherd’s book, very little of their own, except Jayne-man’s extra promise to always have her back and protect her to his dying day. River smiled, said she agreed to do the same, and by the power of God and the ‘verse, Shepherd Book bound them for life.

“Mrs Cobb.” River smiled after their kiss that sealed the deal. “She wears it proudly.”

“Y’ain’t half so proud as I is, River-girl,” he promised her. “Hey, I got me a wife,” he told the assembled crew, who all laughed and cheered in response.

It had been a strange couple of days, no doubt on that, but they’d ended happy enough. That was a thing worth holding onto, for just as long as they could.


	15. Chapter 15

“I think it’s all kindsa shiny,” said Kaylee with the biggest grin on her face. “Falling in love like they did and now getting married and all. It’s so romantic.”

She spoke of River and Jayne, and in such glowing terms, Simon wasn’t sure how to reply. He wasn’t so unhappy that his sister had married the man-ape that was now his brother-in-law. Jayne was rough and ready to say the least, but he had certainly proven himself loving and faithful when it came to River. He seemed to be the epitome of the the supposed bad guy with a heart of gold, a real hero beneath the rough exterior. Simon would prefer someone a little more gentlemanly, perhaps more like the kind of man he was himself, but then it was doubtful such a person could be what River wanted or more over what she needed as she was now. He wondered if that kind of man would have been enough for her even before her time at the Academy.

“I suppose in the circumstances they are what’s best for each other,” he said with a sigh, running his hand over his face. “It’s not exactly how I pictured the future for my mei mei, but then nothing has really turned out as planned.”

“Well, it ain’t so bad here, is it?” asked Kaylee, closing up some of the space between them and leaning into his personal space by the counter top of the infirmary. “I mean, sure’n you didn’t plan on being here, but Serenity is a nice kind of a home.”

“She’s certainly easy to become attached to,” Simon agreed, fingers brushing against Kaylee’s own a moment.

When their eyes met she almost wondered if she could be this lucky, if he could really be talking about her so much as the ship they called home. They had been dancing around each other for weeks now, sometimes literal like, other times in different ways. Kaylee was pretty sure she made her feelings plenty known, but every time they got close to being close, Simon seemed to find a way to get away from her. This time was no exception.

“Um, are you sure you’re allowed to be here?” he checked, sliding away from her and moving fast across the room. “I wouldn’t want you getting into trouble with the Captain for abandoning your post.”

“Why you always gotta do that to me?” she asked, frowning hard when he spared her a glance. “Second we get close to bein’ closer, you practically evaporate on me. Surprised you’re still in the same room.”

“Kaylee...” he began, shaking his head, but she clearly wasn't at all done.

“No. Don’t give me the big eyes and the sigh like you don’t even know what I’m gettin’ at,” she argued. “You’re a smart man, Dr Tam,” she mocked him purposefully, hands on her hips. “You know well and good that I like ya, and you act like you like me the same.”

“I do,” he confessed softly. “Of course, I do.”

“Then what in the heck is the problem?” she asked, approaching him again.

“The problem is...” Simon began, floundering immediately, pinching the bridge of his nose like he felt a headache coming on as he fought for the right way to explain. “I don’t... I’m not Jayne, or any kind of man that can just grab a woman and... and take her to bed or whatever it is that those type of men think is appropriate.”

“Not so sure that’s what anybody calls appropriate,” admitted Kaylee, smirking some at the imagery she suddenly had in her head and didn’t mind at all. “But why you gotta be so appropriate all the time anyway, Simon? Don’t mean a thing out here in the black.”

“Actually, it means more,” he argued. “At least, it does to me. My manners may not be what you’re used to, Kaylee, but this is the way I was taught to behave, the way I prefer to behave. Treating you as a gentleman ought to treat a lady, that’s my way of proving that... of proving what you mean to me,” he tried his best to explain, sure he was blushing long before he was done. “Do you understand?”

Some might have taken that badly. Kaylee wasn't so easily offended. Honestly, she was stuck on the part where the doc said she meant something to him. That was all she really wanted to hear. Sure’n she’d like a little kissin’ and such to go along with all of them pretty words, but she did understand, and she didn’t suppose for a second Simon was suggesting she was too dumb to grasp it. He just knew he weren’t that great at explaining such things, that was all.

“Okay,” she said at last, nodding her head. “I mean, I ain’t exactly a lady nor nothin’, but I guess you can treat me like one, if’n you really want to,” she told him with her usual bright smile. “For a while, anyway.”

She gave him the kind of look that could make a man’s toes curl in on themselves before walking on out of the door and leaving Simon alone. Sometimes he wondered himself why he was so determined to be a gentleman with Kaylee. Possibly because he was still worried that she would eat him alive given half the chance.

“Might not be such a bad way to go,” he muttered to himself, getting back to tidying the medical bay, as had been his plan before the little mechanic arrived on the scene.

“Hey, Doc!” Jayne called, seconds before he came into view. “Need you to borrow me some tape.”

“Lend,” said Simon, trying to stop his brother-in-law from raiding every drawer and cupboard, making even more mess than already existed. “You want me to lend you some tape. You borrow, I lend,” he explained.

“Whatever you say.” Jayne rolled his eyes. “Just gimme it, will ya?”

Simon produced the very item that Jayne needed and handed it over, watching with equal parts horror and amusement as his brother-law lifted his shirt and began to bind a pistol to his torso with the tape. Simon knew, as all of the crew did, that they were bound for Higgin’s Moon, a place where firearms were in no way permitted. Inara had a client there, and the rest of the crew had a plan to pick up their own kind of work. Certainly, Mal would not be amused to find Jayne strapping a piece to his body, they all knew that, though Simon never got the chance to ask why he was doing such a thing.

“He must have faith,” said River, appearing in the doorway, practically en pointe.

“You been spendin’ too much time with the Preacher man, bao bei,” her husband told her. “Ain’t got no problem with God myownself. He done me my share o’ good turns, no matter what, but this ain’t for faith to decide. I go onto that moon, I done told you there’s gonna be trouble.”

River rolled her eyes.

“She cannot imagine why. Also, for all of the mathematical impossibilities within the Preacher’s symbol, it holds truth, hope. Faith endures,” she said, eyes staring off into nothing a moment before she eventually found her focus again. “He cannot take the weapon.”

“Well, that’s somethin’ we’re all in agreement on then,” said Mal from behind her.

River never flinched - she had known he was there all along.

“Now you’re welcome to help me out on this, Cobb, or you can stay aboard the ship, but you ain’t comin’ with me and mine wearin’ that piece.”

“Daddy knows best,” said River, smiling at Jayne. “No guns,” she added, expression turning harsh in a moment.

Grumbling obscenities, he found the end of the tape he had bound around his hair-covered middle and pulled hard. River bit her lip in sympathy and then moved to assist as Simon left the room at a pace, joining Mal in his hasty retreat.

“Do you think it will be safe for Jayne and River on this moon?” he asked the Captain. “And for myself? Because I would just as soon stay aboard if there’s going to be any risk.”

“No risk,” Mal confirmed. “Truth to tell, it ain’t likely fugees like yourself’d be noticed on such an outta the way place. Besides, might be you could prove useful with your fancy talk and smart clothes and all,” he said, considering a moment. “Walk a ways with me, son. Think I got me an idea,” he said, slapping Simon on the back as they headed down the corridor together.

* * *

Nobody understood. River had insight but even she found dark corners she could not reach in Canton. Music played and a fine figure of her husband in the town square, all was good, serene, and yet nerves were jangling. No amount of love from her could calm him entirely. Something wrong, something unbalanced. River chose to embrace the safety of the people, as Captain Daddy and the family all did the same. Jobs to be completed, roles to be played. Jayne-man would have to settle to his position, be bold and brave and true. River was as proud as a wife and lover ought to be, pushing away the dark that lurked in the corners of her mind. Was probably illogical, unreasonable. Must have faith.

“You think it’s right, bao bei?” Jayne asked her quietly. “Usin’ these good folks like that?”

“Captain knows of where he speaks.” River nodded solemnly, eyeing the glass of alcohol placed before her suspiciously. “Plan will come together. All plans in time,” she said, smiling suddenly as she turned completely around, never spilling a drop from the over-filled shot glass.

Jayne followed her lead and saw Kaylee and Simon in the loveseat over yonder. Both was as drunk as skunks, leaning all over each other already. Jayne had a feelin’ these two was gonna be gettin’ sexed before the night was ought. Might be good for the doc to get some. Might stop him bein’ so tightly wound all o’ the time.

“They’s got the right idea, I reckon,” he said, licking his lips and giving River a look.

She smiled, downed the shot of whiskey in one, and then looked a might strange. Jayne put is arm around her shoulders when she shook her head like she was dizzy and her smile soon returned.

“She concurs,” she said then, gazing up at him. “Agreement,” she clarified when he looked a might confused still.

“Shiny!”

* * *

They called it Jayne Day. An unimaginative title, but it suited well enough for the event at hand. Mal had a notion it wasn’t all going to run quite so smooth as he’d like but that did seem to be the way with the most of his plans. Still, if everybody played their part, might turn out alright yet.

Heading back into the tavern, he had a notion to rouse River and Jayne from their bed, only to find Kaylee and Simon not quite woken up in the loveseat beyond the bar. Being as they was still in a public sort of a situation, Mal had to think nothing happened except for the sleeping. Still, like as not the doc would feel all kinds of embarrassed when he realised where he was and how.

Passing by, he hit the bottom of the stairs just as River appeared from the bedroom above. There was a look on her face bothered Mal some, though he kept a smile on his own lips. No percentage in making a bad situation worse. If the woman had somethin’ bad to tell him, she would, in her own way and her own time. Could be somethin’ else had her looking so worried. Captain didn’t know better he’d say she was green about the gills from the liquor.

“River?” he tried, her attention gained but only just.

“Dehydration,” she told him flatly. “Result of imbibing too much distilled spirits. World spins a new orbit for her eyes only,” she added, forcing a smile as she met his gaze.

“First time drinkin’ that much is always the hardest,” he sympathised, trying not to smirk too much. “Get yourself some breakfast. Brought the water for your husband, but looks like you could probably make better use of it,” he said, tossing a canteen into her hands. “Wasn’t gonna trust whatever they dredge up in this place.”

“She is grateful,” said River, taking a long drink that seemed to do her good. “Husband sleeps on, despite vicious prodding to do otherwise.”

“I’ll see if I can’t rouse him. You take care o’ yourself there, mei mei,” he advised, urging her down to the bar when she might get herself some food, settle her stomach and such.

River found a more genuine smile as she saw Kaylee and Simon waking up together. Destiny, fate, all had a plan. Like herself and Jayne-man, but different yet. Turning to seat herself at the bar, River felt her insides move in a different direction to the rest of her body, brain rattling inside her head, or feeling as if it might be. Logic dictated it could not, and yet.

“Unpleasant,” she muttered to herself. “Unreasonable, unsettled... Projectile!” she cried at the last, bolting from the room before anyone hardly noticed at all.

She was gone too long. She missed Mal dragging Jayne from the place, the presumption that she already went ahead. Had no idea Kaylee and Simon were left alone to meet their fate. Wouldn’t know of Stitch Hessian’s arrival at the tavern, not until it was all too late.


	16. Chapter 16

Simon couldn’t breathe.

Bad enough that he had woken up in a strange place with a pounding head and a churning stomach, the whole situation was now ten times worse. He could have perhaps overlooked the morning-after symptoms of too much cheap alcohol, thanks to the over-ridingly wonderful feeling of waking with a certain well-formed female mechanic in his arms, but this was different. Just when he and Kaylee were enjoying the closeness, a heinous figure had come crashing in through the door. 

Instinct made him stand in front of Kaylee. Adrenaline was probably all that really kept him on his feet. Simon fought to recall the lessons drummed into him by Jayne. How to defend, disarm, even attack. He ought to know how, and to an extent he did, but his muscles and brain would not quite comply. The after-effects of the alcohol slowed him down, and his opponent was stronger and more skilled.

There was a possibility he screamed, though he would hope that was Kaylee rather than himself. By rights, Simon ought to have crumpled like a piece of paper at the hands of the grisled old man who referred to himself as Stitch. He might have if he wasn’t goaded by his opponent and worried for Kaylee’s safety as much as his own. There was no way he was ever going to really win the battle, but he put up a half decent fight. As Stitch divulged his plans to take down Jayne and all his crew, Simon knew there was something more important here than winning. Practising moves taught by his brother-in-law, Simon got out from the old man’s grasp and shoved him as far away as he could.

“Kaylee, go!” he urged her. “Warn the others. Go now!”

“But I can’t...” she said, gesturing to Stitch who was ready to attack one more time. “He’ll kill you!”

“He won’t,” Simon promised her. “Please, go and warn my sister!”

His pleading look and the over-riding fear in Kaylee was enough to put her legs in motion. She bolted for the door before Stitch had a chance to regroup, tried not to hear the old man’s indignant battle-cry before he launched himself at Simon again. Kaylee didn’t know how long he could hold the other guy off, but she trusted that if he said he could handle himself he probably could. Hopefully.

Running for the centre of town, she knew she had a ways to go. In the heat and humidity, it wasn’t an easy journey, and the whole way she was blinded by tears and clutched by fear. She hoped rather than believed that Simon was fine, and that everybody else would be okay too.

The crowds in the town square were as large as they were supposed to be for the Captain's plan, but it was an issue to Kaylee now that she really needed to get through, to tell those at the centre of the mass that trouble was coming. She shoved by so many folks, excusing herself around some and cussing at others in desperation when politeness didn't shift them. Losing sense of direction or anything, she just pushed forward as best she could until she broke through the crowd at last.

“Hey, now, little Kaylee,” said Mal, grabbing her by the arms as she almost ran right by him. “Mei mei?” he said, trying to meet her blood-shot eyes. “What has you all riled up like this?” he asked in a low voice as beyond them the crowd paid rapt attention to Jayne’s inaugural speech.

“Bad things,” said River, appearing as if from nowhere. “Very bad.”

“She ain’t wrong.” Kaylee shook her head. “A guy came into the bar. He has Simon. Said he was comin’ for Jayne and all of his folks.”

Mal looked from her to Jayne on his podium to River’s overly wide eyes. Suddenly she staggered back as if hit by a force and Mal wasn’t sure which way to turn. If River was feeling something that he couldn’t see, that meant her Reader abilities were going into over-drive like they sometimes did. What they could use more right now was her fighting style, especially since this planet was anti-guns in a big ol’ way. Mal didn’t much like going for his piece out of habit only to remember it weren’t there.

“Kaylee,” he said, turning to the mechanic. “How long we got?”

“No time” River answered instead, spinning very suddenly to face the other direction, just as a yell went up.

Stitch Hessian was a powerful ugly creature, more so than even Jayne could recall. He told him as much when he spotted the old man dragging Simon to the scene. The boy was a little battered and bruised, but Jayne figured he must’ve held his own better than he could’ve six months back. The training had come in useful, but right now Jayne couldn’t think of it long. His eyes went around the crowd and then landed on River. Way she was lookin’ at him, Jayne was fair certain she put it together already, afore Stitch ever made his rotten speech about that second storey the two of them pulled back in the day. After that, Jayne couldn’t look at her no more. His little woman always knew the score with him, had to when she became his wife and all. He never did want her to know the details of what he was in the past, the vagaries worked just fine. Now was different, not the whole truth was bein’ told. Jayne didn’t care much what the folks of Canton thought about him, but River was a whole other deal.

While Mal and Kaylee checked on Simon, Stitch pulled a rifle on Jayne and revealed his secrets to the crowd. River got lost amongst the other folks, out of Jayne’s view which suited him fine. This thing with him and Hessian was only going to end one way. Somebody was gonna die, and Jayne was bound and determined it weren’t ever going to be him.

Thinking fast, Jayne moved all of an inch to make his attack but never got the chance. He heard the gun cock and then the rest happened like slow motion, as if that bullet come flying through molasses toward him. At the same time, Jayne just knew he didn’t have the time to move. Turned out he didn’t have to. River flew through the air like a bird on angel’s wings, and then fell to the dirt with a thud.

* * *

“S’posed to be the smart one outta the two o’ us. Gorram stupid-ass thing you did, jumpin’ in front of that bullet to save my worthless hide,” said Jayne crossly, unlikely tears in his eyes even now.

“She did the math,” said River, her own eyes closed against the harsh light of the infirmary. “No danger.”

Jayne wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time when she said that. No gorram danger, that was a real joke, but he didn’t doubt his bao bei meant what she said. She did the math alright, knew just exactly when and how to jump in and save him, literal like. Stich’s bullet had struck her, but not flesh and bone. The bowie knife that had been Jayne’s own more years that he could recall was often strapped to River when they were planet-side, and even when Jayne woulda liked to have that knife for his ownself since he couldn’t carry a gun, he let his little woman keep her prized possession that had been her own so long now. Saved her life today. Saved Jayne’s too. No doubt about it, today’s events had been a damn miracle. No other way to describe it.

“This is math?” said Jayne, looking at the blade sat on the counter top, bent outta shape as it was. “Ai ya, bao bei, reckon I shoulda paid more mind to my cipherin’ in school!”

River smiled a sleepy smile.

“Loves him just as he is.”

Her voice was a whisper, her body tired and aching. Jayne didn’t wonder at it. Sure’n she timed it right, had that bullet bounce clean off the blade tied to her waist, but she was still hurt. The impact still stung, the shrapnel didn’t all get deflected. Make no mistake, River was injured, but she weren’t dead. Stitch was no longer for the world, but they was all still here, this crew, this family.

“Sleep on, crazy little woman,” said Jayne, laying the gentlest of hands on River’s head a second or two.

He already tried yellin’ at her for risking herself for his worthless self. Tried thanking her too, but nothin’ came out right. All Jayne could do for the rest of his life was be as much for River as she was to him, if’n that were even possible.

Never thought to be so tied up with another person like this. Love ‘n’ marriage, weren’t things Jayne ever thought to have in his life, and a person like her, beautiful and sexy and smart and all, throwing herself in harm’s way just to save him. A miracle, ‘twas the only word Jayne had for her.

From the window, Simon watched the scene, his mei mei sleeping again with Jayne watching over her. Stalwart and true as ever, he guarded his sleeping beauty. They made an odd fairytale, but Simon supposed none of those old myths and legends from Earth-That-Was ever really made any sense. It didn't mean the love was any the less true.

“It’s been quite a couple of days,” he said to himself, turning to move away.

“Ain’t that the truth?” replied Kaylee, having overheard. “’S River doin’ okay?”

“She is.” Simon nodded. “I don’t think I could convince Jayne to leave her side even if I wanted to, but she’ll be just fine, given time to heal.”

“That’s good to know.”

Kaylee smiled and meant what she said, but her expression wasn’t all it should be. Her hand came up to Simon’s face, fingers barely grazing the marks that Stitch Hessian had made. Simon knew he took a beating, but he barely felt the pain until long after the battle was over. Even then, he fought through to work on River and ensure her survival first. Only in the last hour or so had he got himself cleaned up and found he needed a shot of something to quiet the pain in too many points of his body.

“I can’t... Ain’t sure whatever possessed ya to take on that animal,” said Kaylee shakily.

“He wanted to hurt you... and Jayne and River,” he added quickly. “I couldn’t let that happen. At the very least I had to try to stop him. I wasn’t so much of a help as I would’ve liked,” he said, turning his face away.

“I think you were awful brave,” she said definitely. “Simon...”

He shook his head, wouldn’t even look at her at first. Kaylee wondered what was on his mind. She meant to ask, but before she could he looked like maybe he was going to tell her anyway. He sure seemed to be thinking about it a lot, and then just when he seemed like he had the words, he said nothing at all. He stepped in closer to Kaylee, one hand at the back of her head as he pulled her closer and laid his lips on hers. She weren’t so dumb as to miss her chance, even if she was surprised by him. Kaylee made sure to put all she had been holdin’ back too long into that kiss, and when it was over, she was smiling wide as anyone ever had.

“Well, Doctor Tam,” she said, breathing a little too fast. “You sure that’s appropriate behaviour?” she teased him.

That made him smile too, even as he blushed terribly at the realisation of what he had done.

“I think perhaps that today taught me something about wasting time,” he said, holding her close still. “Perhaps life is too short to take things quite as slowly as we have been.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Kaylee grinned, tilting her head with a question in her eyes.

Simon didn’t need asking twice and kissed her again.


	17. Chapter 17

When River threw herself in harm’s way to save her husband’s life, she did a whole lot more than ensure his life weren’t lost. In the melee that came after, that involved Jayne layin’ waste to his old partner, Stitch, Mal and his crew were also able to finish out their job at Canton. A little help from Inara’s client got them off that gorram moon, free and clear, and all was right with the 'verse.

Mal was more than a little grateful to his passengers-turned-crew. They sure had done him a good turn on more than one occasion and it made him glad they picked ‘em up. Just when he thought they couldn’t improve any of their helpfulness, River went and did it again, though in some unpleasant circumstances.

The screaming started up in the middle of the night-cycle when most were sleeping in their beds. There was no calming little River down for a good while, and Jayne and Simon was sharing looks that meant a needle was going to end up in the poor girl again. Nobody wanted that, but she really did seem to be off-kilter enough to be dangerous for a while. At long last she calmed some, though the rattling and rambling never ceased. Talk of fire, of pain, nobody entirely knew what to make of it. In time, when she got her thoughts in order, picked out the fact from the fiction and the sense from the crazy, she was able to explain.

“Engine trouble,” she said, looking to Kaylee. “Cold and dark and lost,” she added, eyes more on Zoe now, which made little sense to anyone.

“We got problems with the engine, mei mei?” Mal asked his mechanic.

“Nothin’ to worry on that I know of,” she told him, shaking her head. “Only thing botherin’ me is that crappy compression coil. That gives out we’re looking at a whole heap of trouble.”

“How big a heap?”

“Couldn’t say it much clearer than River here,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “We could be dead in the water, no way of workin’ around it,” she told him plain.

“I say we get us a new one of those compression things right now,” said Jayne, arm still around River’s shoulders where it belonged at such a time as this one. “If’n River here says we need it, she ain’t ever wrong.”

“I have to agree.” Simon nodded. “Though of course, as the Captain, it’s your decison.”

“Well, ain’t it mighty fine to have such a thing noted,” said Mal with a look. “Yes, I am the Captain, but I have a crew here for a reason. Things come up need seein’ to, I expect to be told or asked, whatever is the necessary,” he explained. “Now, we need us a compression coil, we’ll see about gettin’ one. Mightn’t be so easy on the coin we ain’t got, but we’ll make it work, somehow.”

“If it is to keep Serenity afloat,” said Inara softly. “I’m sure the funds will be found.”

Mal looked at her sharply, some angry tirade on his lips, but it died there. He had clearly thought she was telling him how to run his boat, but no. She might just be offering him the funds he needed to repair his ship. Well, to that he couldn’t exactly take offence. Actually, he probably could, but he didn’t.

Closest planet that could maybe have what they needed turned out to be Beaumonde, and Wash set a course to get ‘em there. ‘Twas also the pilot himself that a got wind of the fact Simon’s birthday was right around the corner when the latest Alliance authority notices came over the Cortex. The very day they landed planet-side was the one that marked the doc's anniversary of birth, and though enough funds had already been spent on the much-needed engine part, it was impossible to refuse Kaylee’s pleas for some kind of celebration for her fella.

The Maidenhead was a crook's paradise, nobody was likely to take note of the fugees amongst Mal’s crew. Just in case, they stuck to a table in a dark corner and kept the noise down as they all got themselves a drink and wished Simon many happy returns. Kaylee even brought along a protein-based cake she’d conjured up, with vaguely chocolately icing. Sure’n the doc turned eleven different shades of red, especially when Kaylee made a point of kissing him in front of other folk.

That was a new development. Far as the rest of the crew knew, kissing was as much as the pair had done yet, though Kaylee was all kinds of willin’ for more. Jayne had made a couple of leery comments about the nature of their relationship, and both times River had socked him hard for the trouble. Still, she looked all kinds of pleased for her brother. 'Twas a nice thing to see, the little woman as happy as all that. Her nightmare about the engine trouble notwithstanding, she had been better of late. Calmer, more like a normal person, if anybody aboard ought to be accused of such a thing. Mal liked to see it.

“You alright there, little one?” he asked when she suddenly rose from her seat.

“Too much liquid,” she said bluntly, though she smiled still. “Back before you know it!”

She hurried away like a child in a game. Mal smiled and shook his head, looking to Jayne.

“That woman of yours is a wonder of a person.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” he agreed, taking a long drink from his glass. “Seems to me bein’ aboard your boat does her good.”

“Was just thinkin’ the self-same thing.”

“Certainly, River has a calmness about her lately,” Simon agreed from his side of the table. “It pleases me to see it. I don’t know...”

His words faded away then as the noise of a scuffle reached his ears. All eyes turned to see what was going down, wondering if there was some fight they could jump into, or that maybe they should avoid.

“Da shiong la se la ch’wohn tian!” Jayne cursed colourfully when he realised what was actually happening.

“Is that River?” asked Wash, eyes wide as a couple of a moons.

“I’d say so,” his wife agreed, though she was as shocked as anyone to see it.

River wasn’t being attacked as they maybe first reckoned. If anythin’ she was the one starting a ruckus. One man after another came to take her on and she sent them almost literally flying. Jayne weren’t sure whether to be all kinds of turned on or worried for the little woman’s safety. Sure didn’t look like she needed no help, but folks was all startin’ to notice was was happening now. That couldn’t be good.

Simon said something that nobody really heard, chair scraping against the floor as he scrambled to his feet. Jayne took that as a sign to move his own ass too. No way was Simon tough enough to stop his sister right now. This was a job for the both of them, no doubt.

Running into the fray, Jyane got a shock when River didn’t react kindly to his grabbing her nor talking nice in her ear. She attacked him just as she had every other man that got into her path.

“C’mon, bao bei. It’s me!” he told her, forcing her to meet his eyes.

Didn’t do him no good. River looked right through him, never saw a gorram thing as she turned fast to deliver a kick to his abdomen. Jayne didn’t go down, spun behind her and pulled her arms tight to her sides, yelling for Simon to do what had to be done. He plunged the syringe into her arm, and in a moment River was a limp doll in her husband’s arms.

“Let’s get outta here!” Mal yelled from the door, the crew having cleared a path for them all to take.

Jayne scooped River up and ran, Simon on his tail.

They were gone from the bar afore anyone had a chance to stop ‘em, and off planet before they could be properly chased down.

“What in the gorram hell happened in there?” asked Jayne some time later.

He and Simon were the only ones in the infirmary now, save for River who slept on. None of 'em wanted to all be back here like this so soon. Only saving grace was that River hadn't bust her stitches from the canton caper in this fight.

Somethin’ weren’t right and Jayne and Simon both knew it. For all that River had flipped out before, she never was this bad, and for no real reason that any of ‘em could come up with.

“I wish I knew what to say,” said Simon, shaking his head as he stared as his little sister. “There’s so much we don’t know, so much missing information, it’s impossible to know where to begin. The various symptoms River exhibits are treatable in the short-term. Drugs that calm her or ease the severity of her psychotic breaks. Certainly being aboard Serenity, being with you, it all helps her to be more grounded, to be more... normal,” he said when no other better word came to mind. “But none of this can fix what was done to her in that place. I’m not sure if anything ever can.”

Jayne didn’t much like hearing the doc talk that way. Not that he looked at River and saw someone that needed fixing exactly. He loved her, flaws and all, ‘specially since most of the troubles she had weren’t her fault anyhow. Sure’n he’d like for her to be happier, more in control of herself, because that was what River wanted for herownself. Seemed maybe that’d be tougher to see to than they ever thought before.

“Thought she was doin’ better.” Jayne sighed. “We was sayin’ as much, right when...”

He slammed his fist into his open hand, frustrated more than anythin’ by this whole mess. If’n Simon had no clues on how to fix the screwed up parts of River’s brain and such, he hadn’t an idea who could.

“She was doing better,” Simon confirmed. “She is. It’s almost as if... as if something in that bar triggered her. This behaviour, I know we’ve seen it before, but it was as if it was different, a stronger force taking her over.”

“Like she was under some kind of spell or somethin’,” Jayne agreed. “I got right in her face and she looked clean through me. Never seen her that far gone, not ever. Never do wanna see it again,” he said, shuddering some.

Simon understood exactly how he felt. It was awful to see River in such a state of mind as that, and to have to put that needle into her arm again. He had some idea what the drugs did to her, what too many shots might cause eventually, but it had to be better than the alternative. River could have been killed in that bar, or could have killed herself, something he was sure her already pained mind could never cope with. It was getting harder every day to live with the fact that he couldn’t help her, that possibly no-one could. Now there was just one more question to add to an ever-growing list with no answers.

“It was my birthday,” he said softly.

Jayne shook his head and looked away. Twas supposed to be a happy day, that was for sure. River had on a dress Inara had helped her make up outta one of the Companion’s older pieces of fancy something. She was proud as punch to show it off in the Maidenhead and walked in on Jayne’s arm like a lady going to some real fancy shindig. Shame it had to end like this.

“We’ll figure it out, doc,” he said eventually. “Far as I see it, can’t do anything else.”

Simon knew Jayne had a point. They could not go on like this forever. Answers had to be found, somehow. He just wished he knew exactly how.


	18. Chapter 18

River never talked about The Maidenhead. When she woke from the drugs, groggy and confused, nobody dared to ask her anyhow. Later, she just acted like she didn’t remember, though most knew better, especially her brother and her husband. There was a look in her eyes, said she knew well and good all that she done on Beaumonde, but that maybe she’d rather not think on it much.

Since she never did seem to know what set her off, there was no point pushin’ her. For the most part, all those aboard carried on like things was normal, but there was this feeling the whole time like they was all waitin’ on something. Wasn’t anything a person could see or hear, but it was there and it was goin’ to be one powerful explosion when the time came.

Simon was worried. Not one amongst the crew could doubt that. He worried because nobody said anything but looked at him and River and Jayne just a little differently now. He worried because Kaylee smiled in a new way that weren’t altogether as bright as before. He worried because the Shepherd decided maybe Serenity wasn’t the place for him to be right now and asked to be dropped off at an abbey he knew for a while.

The only comfort where Book was concerned was the sympathy and kindness he showed River even after the incident at The Maidenhead. The last person he spoke to before leaving was River, his hand on her arm.

“Have faith, little one,” he said, meeting her eyes.

“Always prevails,” she replied, smiling slightly.

Simon didn’t ask what it all meant, what secret conversation they had before or may even be having in that moment in their minds. It was too strange to contemplate, and Simon’s brain didn’t have the room for more puzzles. He went over and over all the information he had about River’s condition, all the statistics and test results he had collated. None of it really helped at all. He needed more, but it was impossible to get.

“How has she been at night?” he asked Jayne. “Does she dream? Has she started fitting again?”

“Quiet as can be most o’ the time.” Jayne shrugged, always awkward at talking about River behind her back, even if he did know it was all for the best. “She was whispering some a couple o’ times but nothin’ I could make out. Ain’t lashed out for a good while, least not in her sleep.”

The incident on Beaumonde was playing on his mind too, and more than a little, Simon was sure on that. There was no use talking about it though, nothing to be said or done that hadn’t already been said and done a hundred times. Of course, this situation was frightening and desperate and frustrating. It had been from the beginning and would be until the end, though neither man could see any end in sight right now.

It was only today, when Mal spoke of their next stop along the way, that things altered. Inara must go to Ariel, specifically to St Lucy’s hospital for her annual Companion physical examination and license renewal. It was perhaps the only place in the ‘verse that Simon was so afraid to return to, more so than even his own home and the parents he would never acknowledge again. In front of Mal and the crew, he kept his composure, but later he had to speak freely. Kaylee understood why he was scared, but not why he was keeping secrets from the Captain.

“I can’t understand ya, Simon,” she told him desperately. “Mal don’t want no harm to come to you nor River and Jayne. If'n you just told him-”

“Then what?” he snapped at her without meaning to. “Then we won’t go to Ariel? Inara has no choice. She would be in trouble for not keeping her appointment and it would only look suspicious if we avoided the place. Besides...”

He couldn’t say more, he wanted to, but he couldn’t find the words. Turning away and shaking his head, Simon almost walked away from her completely, but couldn’t quite do it. Kaylee stepped up behind him, her hands laid gently on his back.

“Simon?” she urged him to speak, to turn and look at her again, anything. “Please, don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not,” he promised her, letting out a long sigh. “Kaylee, I... Of all places to go, St Lucy’s is the worst for me,” he explained, turning to face her again. “But for River? It could be the only place that can help her.”

She didn’t understand. There was no way for her to know unless he told the whole story, and so Simon did, first to Kaylee and then later to Jayne. He explained that although he was bound to be recognised at St Lucy’s after his internship, that they could all be caught and captured and worse, that hospital was the only one he knew that had equipment which could prove useful in diagnosing River, in really genuinely helping her to get better, if such a thing were even possible.

Where Kaylee was sympathetic and hopeful, Jayne’s reaction was the expected suspicion and frustration. He recognised the name of the hospital. Dumb he may be, but his memory was sharp enough. St Lucy’s was the place Simon had gone to work, leaving Jayne himself in charge of River’s care. It was the place he called and called when things turned ugly, tryin’ to get the doc home again for his mei mei’s sake. Seemed like a lifetime ago now, all that happened on Osiris and such. Prob’ly ‘cause so much had happened since, Jayne reckoned. Still, those folks on Ariel was going to recall Dr Simon Tam if’n he showed up at their door.

“How you reckon on gettin’ around that, Doc?” he asked him out-right, scratching his stubbly chin as he thought on it his ownself.

“Through the front door.” Simon smiled too much as he held up a vial for Jayne to see.

“What in the gorram hell you talkin’ about? What’s that?”

“This is a drug that suspends all bodily functions, brings everything that shows you’re alive down to practically indeterminable levels.”

Jayne eyed the vial with suspicion still and Simon couldn’t blame him. The plan he was making was complicated, dangerous, and yet it might just pay off. If he had the support of Jayne then he could convince River. The three of them together might work on Mal and have him see the good in their scheme.

“We could do this, Jayne,” he insisted. “Myself, you, River. I could administer this drug and we would appear dead. St Lucy’s take in bodies all the time. Once inside, we could wake and then, if I could just get River in the neural imager, I could actually see what those... those kuh wu hwun dahns did to her mind. It could help me - help us - to help her.”

It was emotional blackmail in some ways. Jayne would do anything to make River feel better, think clearer, be happier. It was pretty much all he wanted in life, and Simon was playing on that in the largest way possible right now. That didn't change the fact that what he said was true, that this might be the only way to move forward with assessing River’s condition and finding some way to make her better.

“Say we wanted to do this, if’n your sister wants to, and we could pull it off,” Jayne considered. “You gotta have the crew behind ya. Mal and Zoe and all. Gonna need them in this caper.”

“I know.” Simon nodded. “The crew like us well enough, but they only take on jobs that pay, I can’t blame them for that. In fact, I plan on exploiting it.”

* * *

“You want us to do what?!” asked Wash, eyes wide and mouth wider at this point.

“Breathe, dear,” his wife advised, patting his arm.

“I’m breathing, I’m just...” he lowered his voice and leaned in closer to Zoe then. “I’m wondering if he’s gone crazier than his sister.”

“Hey!” Jayne said like a warning. “You watch it, little man, or I swear-”

“Ain’t no need for that,” Mal cut in.

He had on his particularly serious face, thinking over all he heard here in the galley these past ten minutes. The doctor had put himself together a plan that had no real holes at all. There was risks, of course. No such caper came without its fair share of potential trouble, but he covered most of his angles. Jayne had muscles aplenty but Mal didn’t have him down for much of a thinker, and the very fact little River weren’t hereabouts for this meeting meant she hadn’t had a hand in the details. This was all Simon. Mal was very nearly impressed.

“Guess what you told us is true enough, ‘bout you bein’ top four percent of your class or some such,” he said after a while. “Now, supposin’ I thought this plan o’ yours could work out, that my crew wouldn’t be in so much danger as some might think,” he said, glancing a moment at a still gaping Wash. “You sure you know what you’re doin’?”

“The drugs on that list are worth the amounts I described, potentially much more in fact, dependant upon where you sell them and to whom,” Simon insisted.

“Ain’t so worried about the drug bust.” Mal shook his head. “I trust you know your meds, Doc, and that you wouldn’t double-cross me. You more’n proved that these past months y’all been aboard my boat,” he insisted. “But I was thinkin’ more on your part of this deal. You sure about this imaging chamber you wanna put your sister in? I seen the way she reacts to the infirmary when the mood takes her, and how she acts other places for no reason at all that a man even as smart as yourself can conjure,” he said pointedly. “She has one of her fits at St Lucy’s, folks are gonna take note. Like as not, you only need your faces seen by one person in that Alliance facility and all three of you are done for.”

“We know what we’re doin’,” said Jayne, standing tall at Simon’s side. “Doc says we can make this work, we can. Gorram gonna make sure on it, if’n it helps my little woman.”

“That I don’t doubt,” confirmed Mal with a single nod of his head. “And what does your wife say to all o’ this anyhow? Seems to me she’s the smartest amongst us, unpredictable as she can be from time to time. She think we can pull this off?”

“I believe so.” Simon nodded. “She didn’t react badly to the suggestion of the plan, didn’t seem to foresee any danger... other than the obvious issues inherent in any of us going into an Alliance facility, obviously.”

Mal nodded that he understood that, then looked to Wash and Zoe for their reactions. Sure’n they were shocked, one more obviously than the other, but they was good folks and deep down Mal knew they liked the newer crew members and would want to help if’n they could. Kaylee knew all and was in support of the plan, that was already said. She and River were elsewhere now only because the little one would rather not think about the details. Whether that was because the idea of being put to sleep scared her or thinking on the plan too much made her head hurt, neither Simon or Jayne could say. They only knew what she told them, that she would rather be elsewhere when the discussions were had.

“Then I guess we’re doing this?” said Wash, looking at Zoe for final confirmation.

“I guess so. Cap’n?” she said then, looking to Mal.

“We help our own, any way we can,” he reminded her. “And if along the way we make some coin and stick it to the Alliance, well, then that’s just brightens my whole gorram day.”


	19. Chapter 19

Jayne didn’t think this creep-ass day could get all that much worse, but waking up from the dead in a room full of corpsified folks just about took the cake. Doc had warned him he prob’ly wouldn’t feel too good when he came to, but Jayne wasn’t so bad. All them years o’ hard liqour and bar fights made him practically indestructable. Jayne woke up doin’ just fine, but wishin’ he had company that was living and breathing already. When Simon came to with an almighty fit o’ coughin’, it was almost a relief, ‘ceptin’ he didn’t seem to be able to stop for a while.

“You alright there, Doc?” Jayne checked, going over to him.

“I will be,” he insisted, trying to get his breath and bearings both.

They both started at the sound of River crying. Though her eyes were shut and her body barely moving yet, her voice could be heard. A moan, a yelp, and then she sat straight up fast and yelled, almost loud enough to wake the dead, if that weren’t all kinds o’ ironical.

“Miranda!”

A second later she looked as if she hadn’t an idea what she said or why. She looked around her at the other bodies, shivered as if cold, and then her eyes landed on Simon and Jayne.

“She is here.”

The men shared a look, a little uncertain by what exactly she meant. River was in the habit of calling herself by third person pronouns. They were all used that behaviour, but it made it hard to distinguish when she was speaking of herself and when she meant to talk of others.

“Who’s here, mei mei? River?” Simon tried, going over to her. “Or Miranda?”

River looked at him as if he had grown another head and then she glanced back to Jayne with a frown. He was sure he never saw her look so confused the whole time he knew her, not once.

“You alright there, bao bei?” he checked, coming over to where she and her brother were.

“Fine,” she said, nodding her head. “Better,” she realised eventually, eyes seeming to clear on their own as she looked at him. “Job to do, no time”, she added then, hopping to her feet and wavering just a little.

Jayne’s arm shot out to steady her and River smiled. She leaned up to kiss him briefly on the lips and then gave all of her attention to her brother.

“No time!” she repeated urgently.

He nodded that she was right and together they headed out of the morgue towards the diagnostic ward. Mercifully, the two were close together, or they always had been before. This entire plan hinged on the lay out of the hospital having remained the same this past year and more. Simon prayed to a God he rarely acknowledged anymore that luck would be on their side just a little longer.

* * *

The river had been dammed, stopped from flowing a while. No body, no mind. It was almost better than knowing, than being, but River knew she had to come back, had to be the girl, the woman, the thing she had become. Must be as she was now to find who she was before and what she might yet be.

Scared, worried, concerned. She felt little herself, but guh guh and Jayne-man felt too much. Tried to ignore it, barriers up, nothing to shake the branches of the tree, but the leaves were coming off, laying her bare to the elements, to the truth of everything.

Somewhere inside, she knew what happened, all of it, understood everything, but the girls and the monsters and the memories, it all combined. Balls of yarn wound up together that no amount of untangling could get straight. A disaster, not worth the trouble. Throw it away and start again, but no. Simon wouldn’t discard her. Jayne would not abandon. They wanted to help, to save the princess in her darkest tower. River-girl wanted them to succeed. Wanted it more than anything, and yet.

Tried to think of happy things, pretty things. Dresses with Inara and laughs with Kaylee. Meals at the Captain’s table, tales of faith from the Preacher. Jokes with the pilot and kind smiles of understanding from his wife. The ever-presence of good brother. The safety and passion of dearest husband. All was clear, clean, good, for a while. She heard nothing said about the mind, the cuts, the incisions. Saw only pretty pictures behind closed eyes, until... until the pain.

A cry of anguish came from her own throat. The river screamed and cried saltwater tears. Couldn’t explain what she saw, the images, fast and bright and loud. The cephalopod, the voices singing, and then... and then...

“Miranda!”

Body thrown from the table, cold floor, colder dread inside. Afraid. Afraid of what she couldn’t see beyond the panic that rose, higher, higher. Voices, too many voices, and over-riding darkness.

“Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two, hands of blue!”

Bare feet pounding against tile, flanked by heavy boots and pleas for calm. No. No peace, no serenity.

No hope.

* * *

Jayne didn’t so much mind this part of the plan. Sure’n he could use knowing that River weren’t in no danger nor even gettin’ herself into a state over whatever she saw inside of her head, but this running from the bad guys thing was somethin’ he was awful good at. Simon had his doctorin’. Knew how to get them into this place, how to work the fanciful machine that looked into River’s brain the way no person ever could or should, but he lost Jayne with talk of amygdalas and such. Mebbe he’d explain it better later, but for now, they was runnin’ and likely as not gonna find themselves in a fight afore long. That Jayne could handle without worryin’ too much on the how. If’n River and Simon could pitch in and help, so much the better, but if not, he weren’t worried none.

“Nobody’s gonna take you, bao bei,” he promised River as they cut down one back corridor into another. “Ya hear me?”

She nodded her head, but the mutterin’ hadn’t stopped yet, ‘bout them fellas with the hands of blue. Mebbe she knew they was gettin’ outta this alive, mebbe not, but she trusted Jayne and that was good enough. Couldn’t imagine she’d wed herself to him if’n she didn’t, but sure didn’t hurt to hear it once in a while, ‘specially right now.

“We shouldn’t have come here,” said Simon regretfully. “They’ve probably been waiting for this day, for me to be this stupid.”

“Ain’t no time for worryin’ on that now,” Jayne insisted. “We gotta keep movin’.”

He started off again down the hall, sure as he was the coast was clear. Simon followed, but River hung back. Jayne was about to open the door when she screamed at him.

“Ambush!”

She set off at a run the other way and her men followed behind, both startin’ to wonder if’n this was how it’d always be. She led, they followed. After all, she was the brains of the operation, more’n either of them was ever likely to be, no matter how smart Simon was compared to average folks.

When they hit the locked door that wouldn’t give for anyone nor anythin’, Jayne started to reconsider River’s own smarts.

“You sure on this, little woman?” he checked, aiming to shoulder the door.

“Ninety eight point six percent,” she rattled out. “Math never fails.”

“Works for me,” he replied, slamming hard against the door - it didn’t move, not a fraction.

“On three,” said Simon, preparing to lend his suport, however minor.

Jayne counted it off, and they made to ram the thing one more time, ‘cept their chance never came. On two a blast rang out, and then the door flew open from the other side.

River smiled wide in spite of alarms blaring and too many grim looks around her.

“Daddy’s home.”

* * *

“Awful glad to have ya back,” said Kaylee, not for the first time, as she hugged Simon to her, kissing his cheek and then his lips.

“It was touch and go for a moment there,” he said, finding her a shaky smile. “I only hope it was worth it.”

He moved away to the light box nearby and switched it on, displaying scans of River’s brain in full colour pictures that meant nothing much at all to Kaylee. Still she tried to look interested for a minute.

“This’ll help?” she checked. “I mean, now you seen all this, you can figure on how to help River with her problems?”

“I don’t know.” Simon shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he thought it over. “I would love to say I now have all the answers, but the truth is, I don’t,” he admitted. “Those animals... What they did to her was barbaric, inhuman,” he explained, anger creeping into his tone, muscles tensing in his arms that were braced against the counter top. “They deserve to be put through exactly what they have done to others. Slow, painful deaths that should never be wished on anyone is all that would be justifiable for those shiong-mung duh kwong-runs,” he cursed in such a way as Kaylee never heard before, but she couldn’t blame him.

Campfire tales of Reavers frightened her good, but these folks were men. Teachers, doctors, trusted by good people like the Tams was supposed to be, and they done this to River, to an innocent girl, a child as she was then. Made Kaylee shudder to think on it too much, and yet, she got no choice in it.

“Can’t imagine a person doin’ that to another person,” she said sadly. “And it really can’t be undone?”

“No.” Simon shook his head. “Much of it can never be truly mended. I’d like to think we can still help River with the muddled thoughts in her head, the things that don’t fit. The psychological aspects may yet be reversed, if I fully understood how they came to be.”

“Might be able to help you some on that score, Doc,” said Jayne as he came striding through the door. “First off, I gots me to thinkin’ on what the little woman was yellin’ about in that hospital. Twice now she called out for Miranda.”

“That’s true,” Simon agreed. “But I can’t imagine who that is. As far as I know, there is no relation or friend of the family by that name. Unless it was someone at the Academy...?”

“Might just be that,” said Jayne, nodding his head. “Here,” he said, tossing a vid disc into Simon’s hands before he was half ready to catch it. “Cap’n got a wave from the Shepherd. Seems he knows a fella could give us an answer or two on what exactly happened in that bar your sister decided to kick the fei-oo out of. He sent over some recordin’, lifted from an Alliance feed.”

“Does River know about this?” asked Simon, staring at the disc in his hands.

“She ain’t keen on watchin’ herself do what she did,” said Jayne, looking all kinds of uncomfortable. “Ain’t somethin’ I much wanna relive neither, but man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, ain’t he? All I know is, this old friend of the Shepherd's told him one piece of interestin’ about that day. Right before River-girl goes into that state o’ hers, she said one thing.”

The look on his face proved that the guess on Simon’s tongue was right before he ever actually spoke.

“Miranda,” he breathed, staring down at the disc in his hands a moment more. “Okay. We need to watch this.”

Jayne nodded his agreement, though he looked no more keen than Simon himself. If it was going to help River, they’d do it. They had no choice.


	20. Chapter 20

The video feed recording from The Maidenhead gave them the information they needed, though it meant watching the footage more than once before all became clear. Actually, it was listening that was more important. Not only did Simon receive confirmation that River had indeed spoken the name Miranda before she began to tear up the bar, but there was something else too. Music, strange voices, a commercial for something that both he and Jayne failed to hear at first. In the end, it was Kaylee that recognised the jingle.

“Oh, that stupid music!” she complained. “For three days straight after we left Beaumonde, all I kept on doing was humming that gorram thing.”

“What is it?” asked Simon curiously.

“Fruity Oaty Bars,” Kaylee told him easily. “Y’know, the ad with the geisha girls and the octopus and all? Kinda silly, but the tune sure does stick in your head. I guess that’s the idea.”

Simon stopped the footage and ran it back one more time. Jayne stared at him like he was crazy, wondering what they was achieving by watching over and over, especially the early part before River flipped her lid.

“There,” he said, pointing to the screen.

“There, what?” asked Jayne, frowning hard. “So she’s starin’ into space, so what? Ain’t the first time, won’t be the last.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t think she is staring at nothing, but rather something,” Simon explained. “This wall was where the vidscreen was, the one dispalying the commercial that Kaylee was talking about.”

“So, an ad made her go all... fighty?” she tried, not getting it at all.

“Perhaps.” Simon nodded. “Fruity Oaty Bars are a Blue Sun product. Blue Sun is a part of the Alliance. Those same people did this to my sister, made her what she is now.”

“Who, not what,” said River herself from the doorway.

Her eyes were as blank as they had been on the screen moments before as she stood en pointe, staring in at them all.

“Mei mei...” Simon shook his head, knowing he should have chosen his words more carefully even if she wasn’t nearby. “You know I didn’t mean-”

“She knows many things,” said River, swallowing hard. “Knows too much, sees too much. Still can’t quantify the why, the wherefore.”

Her words faded, gaze shifting to look into nothing a moment. Jayne watched her carefully, mindful of what she might say or do next. River never hurt him nor Simon nor anybody aboard this ship on purpose, but if she lost control, he knew better than most just exactly what she was capable of. She knew it too, and was probably the most afraid of it out of anyone.

“Bao bei?” he tried and failed to get her attention.

That bothered him, at least for a little bit. After a few seconds more, River shook her head and refocused her eyes, this time on the corridor before her. She walked away then like nothing had happened and Jayne felt a shudder run through him that weren’t good.

“She ain’t right,” he said to Simon. “Since Beaumonde, she... she just ain’t right.”

His brother-in-law well understood him, he couldn’t not now. As much as River had been ‘not right’ for a while now, it was different since the incident at The Maidenhead. She was more distracted, perhaps by her own surmising as to what had happened there. It was as if she were trying to access something beneath the surface. It was only when he thought of this that something clicked in Simon’s head, about the commercial on the footage they had been watching and discussing moments before.

“Subliminal programming.”

“Sub-what now?” asked Jayne, clearly lost, and not for the first time when he was in conversation with Simon.

“Subliminal, it means a secret message inside what you think you’re seeing or hearing,” the doctor explained in the most basic times he could find. “You could be watching a commercial, thinking that’s all there is to it, but in the meantime, other images are being laced in between the pictures you can see, or sounds inserted between the words you think you’re hearing. It’s enough for your brain to register but not enough for your consciousness to recognise.”

“You talkin’ ‘bout brainwashing?” asked Jayne, shaking his head.

“Exactly,” Simon agreed. “If that was done to River, it would be quite easy to trigger a response with a similar set of images inside some other source. The commercial at the Maidenhead, for example.”

Simon paused a while, taking a moment to think over his own theory and giving Jayne the time he needed to make sense of all that had been said in the last five minutes. It was a lot for the smartest man in the room to grasp, never mind a person who was more brawn than brains.

“So somethin’ in the ad made the little woman lose her mind?” he said at last, arms folded acrossed is chest. “You know that for sure?”

“No, not for sure.” Simon shook his head. “To be absolutely certain that a theory is true, tests have to be performed. If we want to know if the ad was the trigger, we would have to show it to River again and see how she reacts.”

“Mei yong ma duh tse gu yong!” Jayne cursed colourfully and loudly, too close to the doctor’s ear for comfort. “You gone nuts or somethin’?! You wanna put her through that all over again? On purpose?!”

“Jayne, it may be the only way...” Simon began to protest, but it was clear he didn’t want to hear it.

“You think I’mma gonna let you do that to my bao bei? After everything else she’s already been through. You’re more fong luh than I thought you could ever be, Tam!”

“We can’t help her if we don’t know what’s making her worse!”

“This ain’t how we’re gonna help her!”

“Listen to me, you incompetent ape!”

“You wanna go three rounds, boy? ‘Cause I’m promisin’ you here and now, you wouldn’t last one!”

“Enough!”

River’s voice cut through the argument with alarming clarity. Simon and Jayne, who were literally toe to toe and as close to nose to nose as they could be with Simon at a height disadvantage, turned as one to stare at her. She looked oddly calm and a little too much like somebody’s mother come to scold them for being unruly. They hadn’t even noticed her return.

“He’s right,” she said, looking at Simon.

Jayne smiled too wide. “See, told you-”

“No,” River cut in before her husband had a chance to even begin to gloat. “Guh guh is right,” she insisted. “Must be tested, graded. Hypothesis proved or disproved,” she explained, eyes dipping to the ground.

Whether she hated the idea of the tests or just upsetting Jayne, Simon couldn’t say for sure. He suspected a little of both, and it dampened his victory in this fight, that was for sure. The last thing he wanted was to upset his mei mei, but if this was the only way to help her, then they must try.

“She is sorry the truth hurts,” she said then, looking at Jayne. “He must understand.”

“Yeah, well, he don’t,” he shot back at her, steeling himself against the tears he saw in her eyes.

Determined as she was to do this, no matter what he said, Jayne knew it was killin’ her to fight with him. Killin’ him too, but that didn’t mean he weren’t as much of a stubborn ass as the next person. Met River’s eyes and knew she saw that. Neither of them was backing down on this.

“You two are so smart and know everythin’,” he said, looking from her to Simon and back. “Makes me wonder why the gorram hell I’m here.”

“Jayne...” Simon tried to placate him but soon changed his mind when he saw the glare it earned him.

“He is husband,” River reminded him.

Jayne let out a hollow laugh and moved past her to leave.

“For all the gorram good that does me,” he muttered as he went.

He didn’t tell her not to follow but River knew better than to try, saw the thought of it in his head if nothing else. Her hand went to her arm and she shivered from cold that was not real. It was inside, a freezing around her heart because her lover would forsake her. He did not mean to be so cruel, she knew. She had to be truthful, honest, but so did he. There was no way to see eye to eye, and so they must stand back to back. No shoulder to shoulder until the deed was done.

River’s eyes closed as Simon came over to reach for her.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, but she shook her head.

“No need,” she told him sadly. “No use.”

She turned to look just in time to see Jayne disappear towards the bridge. He heard none of what she said and cared less for it right now. Coming upon the Captain, his second, and the pilot all talking about a new job they was headed out on, Jayne didn’t even think about it, just volunteered himself.

“You want muscle, I got plenty,” he told the Cap’n, folding his arms as if to prove his point. “Gotta get off this gorram boat awhile anyhow. May as well be useful, make myself a little extra coin.”

“Afraid there ain’t no more cash to be made.” Mal shook his head. “We’d be takin’ the last of the meds from Ariel out to be sold. You already had all your share there was to have.” 

“Don’t matter none,” Jayne insisted. “Just get me off this boat, Cap’n, afore I do somethin’ we’ll all regret.”

Zoe and Wash shared a look, and Mal couldn’t meet Jayne’s eye.

“Guessin’ you heard some o’ what happened back there?” he checked, hiking a thumb back over his shoulder.

“Pretty hard to avoid,” Wash noted. “All couples fight, you know,” he said, all sage husbandly advice.

Jayne snarled at that.

“We ain’t you,” he said gruffly. “Ain’t like nobody else, and since I ain’t one for talkin’ on what I’m feelin’ about nothin’, I’d take it as a kindness we go do this job already. Fast’d be better’n slow.”

“Fine.” Mal nodded once. “Less trouble we have aboard the better my world turns. Zoe, you’ll take charge here until we get back. Wash, set up the shuttle. I’ll load up the goods. We’ll head out as soon as we’re set. That work for you, Cobb?”

Jayne was pretty sure the sympathy he saw on Mal’s face then got to him more’n anything else.

“Sooner we get, happier I’ll be.”


	21. Chapter 21

Things were askew. River knew it, felt it deep within. At first there was confusion, odd mix of unknowns to pick through. The Companion’s latest client a distraction, the act of their feelings overwhelming in its depth and intensity. Then underneath came the darkness, bubbling and writhing. Bad things. Bad feelings. Someone black of heart and bearing ill will floating through the void. He saw them. The cat spied the mice and came creeping, creeping closer, claws out. A lurch in her stomach set River into motion, running to the cargo bay, bare feet hardly touching the surface.

It was Inara who saw her first, having just escorted the Councillor to the door. With concern she asked her friend what was wrong, what had her in such a state of unrest. River was too concentrated on the danger others faced to notice the way Inara held herself, a little wary, as subtly battle ready as such a person ever was.

“Danger!” River yelled out, more than once, muttering in between incomprehensible to anyone else, perhaps even to herself. “Dragon from the sky. Will torture with fire, with ice. Revenge!” she tried in vain to explain, even as Inara gripped her arms and tried to calm her.

“Who is in danger?” she urged her to explain. “Mal and Jayne?” she guessed since they were the two who had gone out on this latest job.

“Strong enough to live, but... but vengeance,” she tried to explain, shaking her head, face turning paler by the moment. “Can’t see how far he will go.”

“Somebody has them,” Inara guessed.

“Somebody has who?” checked Zoe, descending from above. “The Cap’n and your husband, little one?” she asked River as she approached.

“Vengeance came calling,” she agreed, nodding her head. “Niska.”

At the sound of that name, Zoe’s blood ran cold.

The women of action did what they did best then. Zoe took charge as was her place, having Wash take them planetside near to the rendezvous point. There they found the evidence they needed of what had happened. The middlemen were dead, Mal and Jayne were gone, and the most likely candidate for taking them was one Adelai Niska. They all knew the old devil would be back for them if he could. Seemed they was being proved right now.

There was a fight. Kaylee gave in to panic, Simon tried to bring comfort. Wash got thoughtful, Zoe needed to move. Inara went for a different kind of help. That left River, who felt herself begin to flow in too many directions. Losing herself, sinking, drowning. The dark might take her, with no guide to show the way, no light at the end of the tunnel, but for the train coming to run her down. Perhaps it would be better to be rail-roaded, made flat and still. Every cell vibrated with grief and fear, with anger and pulsating fire. To run, to fight, to explode and take others with her in the blast, leaving none but debris. Little bits and pieces, floating in the black. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

“River?” Zoe called into the shadows by the galley entrance.

She said nothing but stepped into the light, showed her grim tear-stained face without a word. Warrior woman understood, would be the same if it were her husband. Did not need to be said, was only known, deep beneath the leather and cotton, beating under flesh and bone, the rhythm of love and devotion.

“We’re getting them back,” said Zoe, not a promise or vow, just truth.

“Both of them, they’re tough enough to have survived this long,” Wash added, trying for a smile and failing miserably. “We’ll get to them, we’ll bring them home.”

River nodded slowly.

“They will,” she agreed, hand reaching to the table, fingers closing around a shining silver handle.

Before Zoe or Wash could comment on her picking up a gun, Simon and Kaylee came rushing into the room. They had their share of the money to take back to Niska, as well as what they had found in River and Jayne’s room.

“We didn’t know where you were,” he told his sister. “We knew you would want to...”

He stopped speaking when Kaylee’s hand landed on his arm. She inclined her head, gesturing to River’s right hand. Up to now, it was clear Simon had not noticed the weapon she held. Now he saw, his eyes went wider than anyone had ever seen them.

“Mei mei...” he began, almost feeling his own hands should be raised in surrender, and yet this was River, always his little sister.

There was no need to fear her, even when she looked upon them all with such anger and dark passion in her eyes. She meant to join the battle, perhaps even to lead the charge. It was hard to reconcile this woman with the little girl Simon helped to raise so long, and yet, he knew what she was capable of. If anyone could save Jayne and Mal too, it was likely to be River.

“The plan,” she demanded of Zoe.

“Take the money, pay back more’n what we owe to Niska, bargain for the Cap’n and your man.”

“The devil will not deal,” said River, shaking her head. “Money he has. Vengeance he seeks. The men mean more,” she said, her free hand in the bag of cash, fingers trailing through the bills as if they were water. “Prepared to die for them.”

Zoe stared at River, wondering if her words were a question or a statement. In the end, she knew it didn’t matter either way. The crew would die for their Captain. River would die for her husband, and Simon would go wherever his sister had a mind to wander. Altogether, they were a dedicated team. Not much of an assault force without Mal and Jayne, but they might manage if they planned it just so.

“Won’t ask if you’re sure. I already know the answer,” said Zoe with a hint of a smile she could not help.

“Sisters in arms,” said River, nodding once. “Not such a little woman anymore.”

Her eyes went to the gun in her hand, forcing herself to steady it. Just an object, doesn’t mean what you think, she told herself, and yet, and yet...

* * *

Words were pointless, meaningless. Action was the only way. She shot with feet planted and eyes closed, no thoughts in her head but the math, the angle, the propulsion of the bullet. One down, two, three. Forty five degrees, north by north-west, find the second beat and pull. She moved as the dancer she was born to be, barely aware of Zoe, Wash, Simon’s voice calling for her to watch her back, Kaylee’s fear that echoed like shaking starlight, muddling everything. River kept focus, flowed on and on, found her way and did not, could not waver. Didn’t matter what had been said and done. She had her target, had her goal. All else could be mended later, needle and thread, patch up the holes. No good if there was nothing to patch, no-one and nothing to mend.

Precision in the blur, one after another fell, and then in blood and sweat and tears she found home. His arms around her were safety in the most dangerous place, though his weight was heavy and near-dead in her arms. Suffering, a kind of which she could not know as he did. In her head she heard and saw, but nothing like this. Nothing that compared. Needles and pins she knew well, but this had been blades and heat and blood, so much blood. River had dropped the weapon the moment she found her man, trying to forget she ever held it. Easier said than done.

The adventure over, she sat by his bed side. Roles reversed and yet the same. Felt the pain he did, atop her own, crushing down, down deep. One hand held onto husband’s own, but the other was before River’s own face. Staring, shaking, the fingers that clasped the handle, pulled the trigger. Angel of death, she had been. Necessary procedure, and yet, and yet...

“’M sorry, bao bei,” said Jayne, looking to her and seeming to know what was wrong.

Sure’n he weren’t no Reader like she was, but anybody with eyes could tell what was messin’ with the mind of his little woman right about now. Never had seen her pick up a gun in anger, only on odd occasions to help him clean up his own weapons.

River heard his words but took time to process. A hundred things he could apologise for, though she needed none. Making her shoot bullets into brains was not what concerned Jayne-man. He spoke of their angry discourse, a conversation a million years ago and barely a day all at once. River closed her eyes, breathed in, swallowed hard. Brought mind and body into alignment, here in the room, here in the moment.

“No,” she said, at last. “He is not sorry. He wishes only good for her,” she said, finding a shaky smile. “Afraid of the bad being worse.”

“Mebbe so,” Jayne agreed. “Only thing that gorram scares me any is harm comin’ to ya.”

His hand was at her battle-scarred cheek, eyes narrowing at the sight. Jayne hated to see her hurting in any way at all. His little woman. Ought to be so clean and pure, but he never knew her that way. Every day out here in the black she got more like him and his kind, less like the prissy little girl her parents tried to raise. The Alliance done what they did and made her so she couldn’t ever be such a thing. Now she was his bao-bei, she was strong, but she was damaged just the same. Broken, like Jayne was, in ways nobody but the two of ‘em could ever understand.

“She agrees.” River nodded. “Harm coming to him... to Jayne-man,” she said, shuddering at the thought, fingers running so very gently over wounds and bandages covering his skin. “Had to recuse.”

“Did a helluva job too,” he said, finding her a grin that she had worried never to see again, after their fight, after his capture. “Didn’t much reckon on ever seein’ you gun in hand like that.”

“Hopes not to repeat,” River admitted. “Needs must. She can, she did.”

Jayne nodded that he understood that. This whole time, she had been so gorram afraid of anythin’ that carried bullets. She took one for him, but never fired a gun the whole time he knew her. She fought well enough with her body, wielded a knife if she must, but never a piece, not ‘til today, ‘til his life hung in the balance and it was shoot or go home without him. She broke all the rules to save his worthless hide, and Jayne couldn’t ever tell her what that meant. Lucky she could take them thoughts right outta his head. Saved a lot of confusion, he reckoned.

“Rules made to be broken,” she said, leaning in closer. “Works both ways.”

Dumb as he was supposed to be and doped up to the eyeballs as he knew he was, Jayne had an idea what she meant. He had rules too, when it come to her, but they was gonna have to be broken to fix anything else. Simon and his experimentin’ on River’s brain, there weren’t no choice in it. Much as he hated the idea, Jayne knew the Tams had it right. Couldn’t make a meal without breaking a few eggs and such, and River was strong enough to take on the risk. If’n he hadn’t known it before, he saw good and all now. All kinds o’ strength in his little woman. Had to be to come this far.

More strength in each of them than maybe the whole crew had ever realised. Even now, Wash and Zoe was clung together in their own bunk, celebrating the life and love they shared after too close a shave with death on the part of all the crew. Inara sat by Mal, watching as he slept off the drugs, the pain, the blood loss. Simon sunk down exhausted to his bed and Kaylee followed, her hand smoothing his hair and trying her best to ease his stress.

“You did good.” she promised him. “With Mal and Jayne, and... and when we had to fight and all.”

She shook every time she so much as gave a passing thought to the shoot out on the skyplex. Simon knew how scared she had been, how she fired all of one shot and even that had gone so wide as to be of no use. No matter how shaken he felt by the whole experience, Kaylee had it worse. Simon had been strong for himself and River so long, now he must find some comfort for Kaylee, even in his exhaustion.

“You played your part,” he promised her. “And it’s like the Captain said himself, none of us have a problem with knowing you were unable to bring yourself to use violence in that way.”

“River did it,” she countered, looking away.

Simon shook his head.

“River is... She’s different,” he said painfully, reaching for Kaylee, encouraging her to face him again. “She was more like you once, at least similar, I suppose. I could never imagine her becoming as she is now, but I suppose we ought to be thankful for her skills and strength,” he considered. “My point is that you are... you’re Kaylee. You’re wonderful,” he told her with a smile that came so easy each and every time he met her eyes. “Every day I fight through what my life has become, for River, but what makes it easier, what makes it bearable or even enjoyable sometimes, it’s you.”

His hands gently held her face, pulled her closer without either of them hardly being conscious of it. Kaylee kissed him, because she couldn’t stand not to be doing it another second. He talked so fancy, so pretty right now. She never thought to mean that much to anybody, much less somebody like him. Simon was like no other man she ever met in her whole life, and she liked him a lot, maybe loved him if she had an idea what real love like that was all about. When they laid down together on his bed she had a feeling they might be gonna find out tonight if she was real lucky.

“Kaylee...” he whispered, the most he could manage to speak right now.

“You want to?” she checked, between sweet, almost-teasing kisses. “Do ya?”

“Yes” he admitted, “but...”

“But nothin’,” she replied, kissing him deeply, sinking into a moment worth drowning in. “I love ya, Simon.”

“Kaylee, I... I love you too,” he promised. “I do.”

After that, there was really no more to be said.


	22. Chapter 22

Day followed night. It was how it worked throughout the ‘verse. Even aboard a vessel, there were cycles of time. Light and dark, awake and sleep. Had to be so or a person couldn’t function like a person for long. These last few nights, had gotten so as Kaylee would rather day never come at all. She lay with Simon in his bed that first time and wasn’t willing then to lie alone no more. He moved into her bunk like the most natural thing in the world and that was that. The nights were all she wanted, since the days brought on a kind of truth she’d rather not face.

River and Jayne patched things up, but nothin’ was settled nor the same. Couldn’t be now, nor never until Simon’s experiments on River’s head were done. Jayne weren’t happy about it but he sure as anything wasn’t letting his bao-bei go flippin’ out without him there to help. Took a while for him to heal after the run in with Niska. More than a week or two of long hard days when nobody said nothin’ to the Captain of the plans they had, for fear he wouldn’t understand. Certainly Simon said they could not trigger River aboard ship as there was no telling the trouble it might cause. They must go elsewhere and so a plan was formed.

Come the first day that Jayne was fit and the ship landed planetside, Kaylee told the Captain they was all headed out on a date.

“You four together?” he checked, eyeing Kaylee and Simon, River and Jayne all with the same suspicious fatherly eye.

River smiled big.

“Captain Daddy trusts them with his precious cargo.”

Mal tried not to smirk and failed at keeping the look off his face. She had a habit of putting herself and Kaylee in the place of daughters he didn’t have his ownself. Truth to say, Mal barely had the years to be their father if’n he wanted to, but that didn’t matter much. He saw them young ladies as girls he had helped to raise in different ways, his to protect from the big bad things in the world if’n he could, and yet just as able to take care of themselves much of the time. He had no worries about them going out into the world with the fellas that loved ‘em, that was for gorram sure.

“You folks have your fun whilst you can get it,” he advised. “Might be a good while for you get such a chance again.”

‘Twas the look on Cobb’s face that gave away all weren’t what it seemed. Mal woulda had him down as the most practiced liar of the four and yet. Still, Captain didn’t question his crew. Whatever they was up to, he accepted no harm was gonna come to his boat nor the rest of his crew. Had a notion those four knew what they was doin’ even if they was having a plan they felt no need to share yet. Mal had his own dealings to take care of on Lilac. Weren’t no need to bother the love birds with them neither.

No idea in his head that those four weren’t headed into town for dinner and dancin’ or some such. Instead they walked a ways into the desolate safety of the desert and set themselves ready for their experiment. River spoke not a word, nobody did for the longest time, except for mutterings between Simon and Kaylee as they set up the equipment.

Jayne was the quietest of all. River could not even read words from his mind that brought any comfort. Afraid. Rare emotion from her husband, and yet ever present now, and shared in their marriage. Easier to walk away, perhaps, but fears were to be faced, no matter how big and bad.

“Are you ready?”

The look on her face was answer enough, Simon almost felt the need to apologise for the question. Of course she was ready. River was always ready for these moments, since she knew their coming was imminent long before anyone else could guess. Besides, this plan had been in place long enough. Now all that was left was to get on with the experiment and hope for the best possible results whilst preparing for the very worst.

Kaylee stood well back behind Simon as he keyed the code into the computer and beat a hasty retreat from the scene. River’s eyes focused on nothing but the screen. She saw the cartoon images begin to move, heard the pointless annoying tune, and then more. Images, sounds, memories not her own dragged from deep inside her mind. They merged and split apart, like atoms she should not see but could not help it. Her head began to spin and then the over-riding need to lash out, to fight. The moment she swung her arm, something caught a hold of the erroneous limb. Jayne’s soft strong voice in her ear was calm, sanctuary, serenity.

“’S alright, bao-bei. I got ya,” he promised. “You keep a hold of ya mind there, I got the rest of ya.”

She knew he must fight to hold her. The River raged and fought, but she pushed back against the tidal wave. Think, think harder than ever before. Concentrate through the fog, the overwhelming need to fight and maim.

Miranda. Miranda had a face of rock and plant, of concrete pillars and glass fronts. A place, not a person. She was blue and green. Inviting and new. Then man came to claim her, change her, mutilate.

There was a sound like screaming, a terrifying, blood-curdling cry. She made that noise, the sound Miranda had made when the end came. Red and black and so much pain. So much. Too much.

Out of the howling agony came silence and nothing. Nothing but numb and cold, so cold.

“River-girl?”

“Mei mei?”

“You in there, honey?

The voices all muddled, but the sentiment was one and the same. There was sand under her nails and ringing in her head, but River was safe. She knew it. She knew those who loved and cared were here to hold her, to comfort, to protect. Safety in their number, in family made, not born in blood.

Blood. The word and image it conjured danced behind her eyes and River pushed it back.

“Too much,” she muttered. “Too many.”

“Hey ease up there, doc,” Jayne advised, misreading her words, thinking they were crowding her.

River didn’t argue. The space to breathe was not unpleasant. Turning her face to the sun, she took in air and felt better, easier. The worst had passed, and yet was still to come in other ways. A few moments more and she must explain, must tell all as best she could. The point of their mission, after all.

“Location,” she said at last, letting her slight weight sag in Jayne’s arms still as he held on tight. “Planet in orbit. Miranda.”

“Miranda isn’t a person?” Simon checked. “It’s a place?”

“As she saw, she says.” River nodded. “Something there. Many things. Good at first but then bad. Parts she cannot see.”

Jayne watched his bao bei with both interest and still a little fear. Watching her lose it all over again weren’t any kind of fun, but like River and Simon both told him, had to be done. Holdin’ onto her, tellin’ her she was safe, seemed to help this time. Weren’t no easy mission, keepin’ her in check when she raged liked that, but Jayne knew enough, loved her enough to know how to do it. Mebbe he weren’t so useless after all.

“The only one who could anchor,” she told him, finding a shaky smile, pushing her forehead against his own as they sat in the dirt, uncaring for the state of themselves. “Needs an anchor or fears she would float away.”

“I’m here for ya, bao bei” he promised, holding her close. “Ain’t no fear o’ me bein’ anywhere but where you is.”

Her smile grew at those words, and then she kissed him. Simon turned away, muttering that perhaps they should get back to the ship. He and Kaylee gathered up the computer and such, ready to make their way home, until eventually River and Jayne got up to follow, their arms around each other as they walked.

“So, this planet named Miranda,” said Jayne then. “Where is that?”

“I have no idea,” Simon confessed. “I shall have to look into it, study maps, consult the Cortex. Certainly I’ve never heard of such a place.”

He looked to River for more information but none came. He wondered if that was because she had no more to give or just chose to keep it to herself for now. It was impossible to tell, and after all they put her through today, Simon would push for no more.

“She is grateful,” his mei mei told him then, as if she read his thoughts, and perhaps that was exactly what she had done. “Had to be done. Necessary pain. She is sorry there is not more to say.”

She watched Simon nod his head and knew they understood each other, just as brother and sister always had, even in the worst of times. Their hands found each other for a brief moment and then the two couples continued on as if nothing had happened. Aboard Serenity they would speak of time spent in joy together. Nobody else needed to know about Miranda until they knew more themselves.

* * *

Simon found nothing. He searched and searched for Miranda on maps and the Cortex but came up blank time after time. Eventually, he found one tiny reference to a blackrock, a world where terraforming was tried but failed. What such a place had to do with River and her odd turns of behaviour, he could not fathom. To his surprise, it was Kaylee that held the answer.

“Some years back now, before the war. There was call for workers to settle on Miranda, my daddy talked about going. I should've recalled...”

“And yet there’s no information. Nothing but this,” said Simon, shaking his head and showing her the one map he found with the planet marked on it.

They went in search of River and Jayne then, telling them the small amount of information they now had. The two looked at the map and heard all Kaylee had to tell.

“This place is a whole long way out on the edge of ass knows where,” said Jayne, looking to River. “Far as I reckon?”

“Monsters,” she said, ice in her voice that caused a shudder in each of them.

She meant Reavers, Simon knew. This was getting worse by the moment.

“We ain’t... I mean, that ain’t a place nobody should go to, right?” said Kaylee, shaking all over at the very thought.

Nobody gave her an answer, nobody knew what to say for the best. If they never went to Miranda they might never figure out what was going on with River, but such a place could never be safe nor sensible to go near. They all wondered on how to proceed, deciding in each of their own minds that nothing was ever gonna be resolved until they talked of what they found to the Captain. When he called everyone to order at the dinner table, seemed like the right sort of time for an explanation and yet there was no chance for such a thing that night.

“Not sure who this contact we’re picking up from is gonna be, so probably best you three stay aboard,” Mal explained of the next day’s task. “Keep your heads down ‘til I know who we’re dealing with, dong ma?”

“We understand,” Simon confirmed, nodding his head, “but if I might have a word with you-”

“Not now, son,” the Captain told him, rising from the table and wiping his mouth as he did. “Got me plans to make, a route to map. We take this cargo we gotta get it to where it’s going before the due date or the coin don’t come rollin’ in.”

“We got it, Cap’n,” Jayne assured him. “Got no need to bother ya with nothin’ right now.”

He smiled too big and Mal just knew there was more to this than he was hearing. For now he chose to trust that whatever these folks had planned, it weren’t gonna do no harm to his home, his crew. He left the galley, taking Zoe with him to the bridge where Wash was waiting.

“Jayne, he’s the Captain,” said Kaylee when they were gone. “We have to tell him-”

“Not now we don’t,” her grumbled at her, softening some when he recalled she only ever meant well. “Ain’t goin’ to no planet in the middle of the worst part o’ space until Mal’s got his own job done. We tell all when this is over.”

“She agrees,” said River, hand gripping her husband’s arm. “Best for all.”

They looked to Simon, one and all, and watched him nod.

“I suppose it’s for the best,” he agreed. “We wait ‘til this job is done and then we explain about Miranda.”


	23. Chapter 23

River never did feel safer than when she was in Jayne’s arms. Their marriage bed was more sanctuary to her than anywhere else had ever been. When Captain Daddy’s orders said they were to be confined to the safety of their room for as long as Saffron was around, he found no argument with them, nor with Simon who was happily secreted in Kaylee’s bunk. Such as the job was with the so-called Mrs Reynolds, Jayne and River were both glad enough to not be caught up in it. Sounded dangerous and most like not worth the risk. ‘Course there was no telling the Cap’n how to run his crew, and neither of them was bound to try.

Truth to tell, Jayne was happy enough to be ordered around if them orders landed him in bed with his wife, gettin’ his conjugals and such. There they was, laid out comfortable with their arms round each other, eyes closing as sleep come over ‘em. Near to perfect as Jayne ever knew a moment to be.

“Safety in less numbers,” said River softly. “Comfortable here.”

“Wish you was always so, bao bei.”

Jayne weren’t right sure why he said such a thing. It’d be easy as anything to just kiss her good night and let sleep take him, but somehow it weren’t happening. Keepin’ secrets from River weren’t somethin’ Jayne was altogether comfortable with anyhow. Since she brought up the whole thing about being happy in their bed, at peace kinda, he figured it was good a time as any to tell her she weren’t always so. He figured mebbe she didn’t know. Seemed that was true enough.

“She cries in the night,” she said, pro’ly reading those thoughts clean outta his head like always. “She didn’t know,” she admitted, tipping her head back to look at him.

“Figured as much,” Jayne told her. “Started in on those hands of blue fellas again since Beaumonde. I wasn’t gonna tell ya but... Well, with everythin’ the way it is and all...”

“She understands.”

River nodded her head, and then looked away. Eyes stared unseeing into the distance, mind racing with thoughts, some her own, others not. ‘Two by two, hands of blue’. The mantra that lived in her head was her own mind, own memory, though she had trouble remembering all the details. They came to the house, scared her, but she knew them before. Bad men, evil agendas. She shuddered at the idea of having to face them again.

“They will come again,” she said, tone as cold as ice. “Conscious mind knows as well as unconscious. Try to put it aside but will not go. Things that can’t be undone.”

“They might come for ya, River-girl,” Jayne told her, “but they ain’t takin’ ya nowhere.”

His grip tightened around her body and River closed her eyes, revelling in the safety of his embrace. Felt good, always, from the very beginning. Her bodyguard for so long now, no matter what other title he held. She wished it was enough. Hoped, prayed, begged for it to be. The genius in her knew better.

“He cannot protect from everything,” she told him sadly. “Jayne-man guards her body. Guh guh guards her mind. Won’t be enough. Can’t. Never enough... for Miranda.”

Jayne was just now startin’ to relax a little again until she said that. Now he felt everythin’ that was on the whole other end of the scale from relaxed.

“Hey, what you mean by that, little woman?” he said, sitting up some and pulling her with him. “You tell me plain if us goin’ to that place is gonna end bad,” he said, meeting her eyes.

River shied away from his gaze. Too strong, too intense, too much.

“Always ends bad with her,” she said, moving away. “He already knows.”

She was up out of bed before he could stop her, though she knew good and well she couldn’t go nowhere, same as he did. 

“Yeah, well,” he muttered. “I don’t live to that.”

“Then he’ll die to it!” River told him, just a little too loud and a whole lot pissed as she turned to face him, naked as a jay bird and eyes flashin’ fire. “Cannot endure the heat, move aware from the fire! She did not beg to be wed!”

“Hey, now!” Jayne yelled back at her just the same, making to get outta the bed.

River weren’t to be argued with nor even calmed down. Her hands swept everything from the shelf behind her, afore she picked up one or two things and threw them with all the force she had against the wall. She weren’t making a sound the whole time, but tears were pouring from her eyes by the time Jayne got to her and held her still. She struggled against him just a little bit before the fight went outta her. This weren’t none of her fits she got into sometimes, just a woman blowin’ off steam, getting all out of her depth and over-run by too much in her own head.

“Not how his life should be,” she cried, letting Jayne keep a hold of her arms now, forgetting a reason to fight in a heartbeat.

“Exactly how it’s s’posed to be, crazy woman,” he told her without pause, one hand to her face now, making her look at him. “You know more’n most what a whole lot o’ nothin’ I was ‘fore I met you. S’posed to be here, s’posed to be with you, that’s all there is to it.”

River swallowed hard, blinked the salt water back.

“She is grateful. Indebted,” she tried to tell him. “Owes so much.”

“Ain’t even so.” Jayne shook his head. “Took a bullet for me a while back as I recall,” he said, more soft than he meant when his hand ghosted over the scars forming near her hip. “Come got me back from some ruttin’ shiong-mung duh kwong-run wanted to gut me like a fish too,” he reminded her. “Hell, you’re my wife, you mood-brained little woman. Don’t owe me nothin’, dong ma?”

If the darkness that filled her head unbidden were clouds, River knew Jayne was the sun, breaking through with warmth and light. Perhaps too poetic an analogy for such a man, but River liked it well enough. Jayne was a sun to her. She orbited around him, pulled close by a force bigger than she was, something she could never fight and never had a mind to. She loved him. Simple as that. Only true, clear thing she always knew for sure, transcending everything else.

“Does not owe, but will give freely,” she said, arms circling his neck. “Gives herself, all that is left.”

Pushing forward, up on her toes, she kissed him. Jayne hadn’t a thought of denying her that. Sure’n they could talk some more about what was comin’ next, where they had to go and what they had to do, but it didn’t change nothin’. If’n they were headed towards some kind of bad, some kind of an endin’ mebbe, then Jayne’d be a real fool to waste what time they had left. Backing up towards the bed, he took his wife and laid her down, provin’ the best way he knew how that he loved her like no other he ever knew nor ever would know.

Hours later, they was back where they started, laid out together in their bed, drifting on the edge of sleep. This time, River found her peace damn quick, but Jayne had trouble doin’ the same. Wouldn’t be too long before the Cap’n was back, the job most likely done or all blown apart mebbe. Either way, he’d be ready to hear what they had to say then, tales of Miranda and what it oughta mean.

Jayne had no wish to be goin’ out there to the edge of the Rim, into Reaver space and all, but for River he would. Promised he’d go to the ends of the ‘verse if he had to, just never figured on havin’ to be literal about it someday. Still, that’s what it took, then he’d do it, no matter what. Weren’t no second choice far as Jayne was concerned.

* * *

Captain Malcolm Reynolds hadn’t reckoned on his day gettin’ much worse than bein’ sat buck naked on a rock in the ass end o’ nowhere. ‘Course he hadn’t counted on the story Simon Tam had to tell him when he returned back to the boat he called home. Mal never had heard of a planet called Miranda, and didn’t wonder at his lack of knowledge when he heard the rest of what was to be told. A blackrock out in the worst part of space. Reaver territory and a mystery the Alliance held on to. It was an intriguing tale to tell and likewise to hear. Trouble of it was, when the story was done, Mal didn’t rightly know what he was supposed to say.

“Well, you folks sure have given me some things to think on,” he said at last.

Simon and Jayne seemed eager to have him make a choice on what happened next, looking to him like they needed approval from their daddy or some such. Ironical as it was, River was the only one not giving him those wide eyes this time around. Chances were she knew already what he was thinking. Nine times out of ten, that was exactly the truth of it.

Getting up and walking away from the table, Mal made no promises about what would happen next nor when he would make such a decision. Meeting Inara on the catwalk above the cargo bay, he caught her looking more than a little skittish.

“You overhear somethin’ back there?”

“I wasn’t deliberately listening in on your private conversation if that’s what you would imply,” she countered, head held high. “I was only on my way to the bridge to consult with Wash about the route we’re to take next when I heard a little of what was said.”

“Which part you hear?” asked Mal, watching her carefully.

“More than I would like, that is for certain,” Inara admitted, seeming to almost shiver as if scared.

That told Mal she heard talk of Reavers at the very least. That kind of thing made his own blood run cold, truth be known. Taking himself and his crew into such a place thrilled him not at all, but there were reasons enough to go, to do what must be done.

“Much as I’d like to avoid goin’ to such a place, makes me wonder,” he said thoughtfully, leaning his arms on the rail and looking out across the cargo bay beyond. “Alliance have gone to all manner of pains to do what they did with little River and to chase her down after. Seems to me they got some secret worth the keeping. Makes me wonder what that is.”

“You know such a trip might be suicidal,” said Inara, hovering beside him.

“Don’t expect you to come along on that kind of caper,” he said, never looking her way, seemingly unable to. “In fact, I’d take it as a kindness if you didn’t. What kinda Captain...? What kinda man would it make me to put a lady like yourself in such a place?”

Inara was stunned by his use of the word lady, so far from his usual habit of referring to her as a whore or similar. He was softening lately, she saw it but said not a word because she knew he would disagree and certainly not thank her for it at all.

“I appreciate the chivalry,” she told him, smiling as he turned to look at her then, “but Mal, I am a part of this crew. I played my part in this last job and more than proved my worth, didn’t I? If this trip into the unknown could help poor River, if it could uncover some truth that others ought to know, would it not be worth some risk?”

Mal shook his head.

“Sometimes I forget what a remarkable woman ya are, ‘Nara,” he told her plain. “And it ain’t that I don’t appreciate your opinion and all. Times like this I almost miss the Preacher,” he noted with a wry smile. “For all I didn’t care much for his religiosity and all, he always knew what to say come a crisis.”

“He’s not so lost to us,” Inara pointed out. “You know where he is, exactly where we left him. I’m sure a visit could be arranged.”

Mal said nothing at first. He was so quiet and still, eyes gazing out across the cargo bay once more as if it was the most beautiful of views. To his eyes, Inara supposed that was exactly what it was.

“Something to think on,” he said eventually. “Definitely something.”


	24. Chapter 24

There was an uncomfortableness in Mal when Serenity set down on Haven. He had good reason enough for heading there, and didn’t mind Shepherd Book knowing he was. Weren’t nothin’ Mal could put his finger on that bothered him so, just knew there was something. Such he told Book when the two men were left alone to consult together.

“Ain’t like me to come lookin’ for a sermon, we both of us know that. Truth to say, ain’t exactly what I come for now. Seemed to me that if anybody had an idea what we’re about to face, might just be you.”

Book had been there on Beaumonde. He saw River lay waste to folks at The Maidenhead, and Mal had a notion he understood more as to the why than most anybody else could. The doctor studied his sister’s brain. Cobb laid along side her by night and fought alongside her by day. Nobody knew River Tam better than they did, including her ownself, but Book just might know more of what she was than who, somehow.

“She is of interest to them still,” said Book, not even looking at Mal as he cleared away empty plates and scraps of food from the meal he had shared with the crew. “To their mind, they want back what she took from them. Knowledge is power. It has always been so.”

“You talkin’ ‘bout these Hands o’ Blue fellas I been hearin’ so much about?”

Book didn’t answer the question. Mal had a feeling he didn’t need him too.

“They’ll come at you sideways. It’s their way,” he explained instead. “You’ll have to have your wits about you. All of you.”

Mal knew that was the truth. Honestly, he knew how the most of this conversation was bound to play out, and yet he had to have it anyway. Maybe just to have a man he trusted to know better agree that he weren’t bein’ a damn fool for following his gut into danger and the unknown. Inara had said a certain trip he was plannin’ could be suicide, and Mal knew that to be the truth. Trouble was, he had half a mind he could justify that risk. He just needed one other to let him know his mind was still sound. There were days of late, Mal seriously wondered.

“And Miranda?” he checked.

“Dangerous place to be headed,” Book told him, finally done with his tasks and forced to meet the Captain’s eyes straight on, “but it might be the only way to end it all.”

He spoke with finality but also with hope. Mal had a feeling they weren’t just talking about River, about ending her suffering in all manner of ways. Wasn’t so foolish as to think they were talking about the end of the Alliance neither. That’d be too much to hope, too much for even the Preacher to put his faith into. Might be a start though.

“Won’t ask if you’re comin’ back aboard my boat, Shepherd,” said Mal, getting to his feet. “Seems to me a man like yourself is better served in a place like this.”

“Seems to me perhaps my function amongst your crew has already been completed, son.” Book smiled.

“You think you brought me back to looking for the Lord to guide me and mine?” asked Mal, a fight ready in his throat that Book was ready as ever to extinguish in a word.

“I think you found faith and hope amongst good people,” he told him, a hand on Mal’s shoulder. “If you won’t let God guide you, Malcolm, let them.”

* * *

“Waste of gorram time!” Jayne complained, crashing about in the room like a caged animal.

The imagery would please River any other day. The barely-tamed beast in Jayne was more obvious than the dark power in herself, and it brought comfort in her, never fear. Such thoughts led to activities that wiped her mind of all else, calmed and excited her all at once. Today was not such a day. Dark clouds were in Jayne’s mind and heart. He grew restless and she knew why.

“He knows better,” she told him definitely. “If a brother lay slain, he would see him taken care of. Such the Captain does now.”

She spoke sense, even if the words did seem a jumble. Jayne knew well and proper what she meant and more then that how true it was. One of his own was in the same jam as Tracey, he’d help out, do his best by him. No person by the name of Cobb would be disrespected, abandoned, put down wrong. Mal fought a war with the boy in the box, so they had to do right by him, no matter what. Course not a one of ‘em expected him to come back from the dead like he did.

“Expect the unexpected,” said River, words she had spoken before and not so long ago.

Jayne turned fast to stare at her.

“You knew it before?” he checked. “You knew he was gonna leap up like he did and not be dead?”

“Not exactly.” River shook her head, staring into nothing a moment. “Lines were blurred. Life, death. She sees enough.”

A shudder accompanied those words and Jayne didn’t have to wonder as to why. Sure’n his little woman weren’t thinkin’ only of Tracey when she talked about life and death. What come next for them was likely to be walkin’ that fine line between living and not. Jayne weren’t looking forward to it none, but it was as it was, and he weren’t shirking no responsibility to his bao-bei nor this crew. The worst happened then it did. Weren’t no turnin’ back, not now they come this far.

“Captain hasn’t made a decision yet,” said River then. “Soon. Very soon.”

“Hey, he says he won’t go where you need to get, we’ll find some other way, little woman,” Jayne told her firmly.

His hand at her head turned her gently to look at him, eyes meeting hers.

“You hearin’ me, Mrs Cobb,” he said deliberately. “You and me is tied and bound. Where you gotta go, I go. If’n the rest don’t wanna make that trip, we will. Somehow.”

“She hears, husband.” River smiled. “Understands, comprehends.”

She leaned in close enough to kiss him, sealing the promise between them one more time. They were in this together, come hell or high water, and River was expecting both before long.

* * *

She knew it amused him on the surface, but deep down there was sadness and pride combined. Captain Daddy was the best of names River could give to the man who ran their ship and kept their family safe. Did his best as a father should, not like he who created her, sent her off to pain and torment. Malcolm Reynolds was a broken man, but righteous. Believed in doing what was right, if not best for all. Would lay down his life to prove his way was better, that independence was king.

The same good-will and faith had Mal visit Book, had him bring aboard the coffin from the post-station they visited after, the body of a comrade in arms. Battle of Du-Khang was bloody, as may battles before and after. Serenity Valley sealed it all, but Mal thought of other moments now. Other battles, and not all from war, some still to come.

Tracey had dragged up too much, too many memories unspoken for so long. Made Mal think. His thoughts ran so wild and deep and every colour of the spectrum that it was almost overwhelming to the little Reader even half the ships length away. She come to seek him out, to speak the words that could calm the erratice patterns of thinking in the both of them. It was the only way, after all.

“He was a son, long before she was daughter,” she said from the galley door.

Mal’s sad smile proved her words to be the truth, not that River needed confirmation. She never did.

“You put yourself up in charge of folks, they come to trust you. Put their lives into your hands. You make one mistake...”

His voice trailed away, eyes focused on literal hands on the table, his own fingers through which so many lives had slipped up to now. River could feel it, the pain, the heartache, the torment. Could never understand it as well as he did, nor feel it as deep and true, but it was there. Dark, clouded, swirling inside a heart that tried so hard to be stone, but failed at every turn. One of few things at which the Captain always failed, to harden himself so far as to not care at all.

“’Bout time we got out of here, I reckon,” he said of St Albans where the ship had sat until now out of respect for Tracey’s family.

Past two days or so had seemed long and drawn. Mal had aged a decade in his mind, he was certain of it. Looking to River, he knew she had an understanding of how that felt. A girl of eighteen, ought to be barely more than a child, but she knew so much, felt so much, had been through as much in her short life than some the age of a hundred would never had to endure. If Mal could wipe away her pains and troubles he would. When she smiled all of a sudden, he knew she read that thought right outta his head.

“Guess that’s why you’ve a mind to make me your Daddy.”

“More worthy of the title than any other,” she admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

Her hands held the hem of her dress and swinging it back and forth like a child might, but she was no innocent, no little girl. Mal had seen her, gun in hand, and maybe more dangerous in a bar where she fought unarmed. Her body was a weapon, her mind might just be worse, but none of it was River, the girl, the woman. If the Preacher had it right, if the Doctor knew what he was talking on, there was a chance Miranda could cure River, or at least undo some of the damage done. Might give them the chance to hit back at the Alliance too, and Mal did like that idea, more today perhaps than yesterday.

“When you can’t run, you crawl,” said River suddenly, eyes barely focused as she quoted what she had heard both from Tracey and Zoe, “and when you can’t crawl, you find someone to carry you.”

“Sometimes wonder,” said Mal then, “if I’m carryin’ my crew, or if they carry me.”

He met River’s gaze and saw a smile quirk one side of her mouth.

“All relative,” she noted.

“Reckon so,” he agreed. “You ready for what comes next, little one?”

“Are you?” River countered. “They aim to stop her, him, all of them”

“Well then, let ‘em try,” said Mal, standing up from his seat with a look in his eye that meant business. “I aim to misbehave.”


	25. Chapter 25

She had been eerily calm when they set out. Nothing had phased River, at least no more than usual. Jayne and Simon had started out asking if she was okay every five minutes, until she snapped that they were being frustrating. After that, no more questions, no more outbursts.

Dear Serenity in all her glory was daubed with paint and made into a monster for the trip. It had to be so. Reaver space was no place for good people, fine ships. They were taking all kinds of risks heading for Miranda, they all knew that, but it was time. There was no other choice for any of the expanded crew but to push forward.

“Have faith,” said River to herself, feeling more than knowing that they had entered the very worst quadrant of space. “Hold on tight.”

“Gonna be fine, bao bei,” Jayne promised her, pulling her to him and kissing her hair. “Just shiny.”

He didn’t mean it. Wasn’t a lie as such. He wanted it to be true, River knew, and yet even she could not guarantee it. She saw the flow of time and what ran within the water, but not every moment, every twist and turn. Surprises could still be around every corner, beyond every invisbile line in the shifting sands.

“They’re here,” she said very suddenly.

Even Jayne with his well-honed reflexes wasn’t ready as she dove from his arms and took flight. Running like her life depended on it, bare feet slamming against metal, Jayne hardly knew how to catch up to her and didn’t make it until they were at the door of the bridge. River tumbled in, landing behind Wash just too late to give him the news.

“We got company,” he said to Mal and Zoe who stood either side of the Pilot’s chair. “And not just Reavers.”

“Alliance,” his wife confirmed. “They had to be tracking us, maybe figured out what we’re trying to do. Where we’re headed.”

“They know.” River nodded slowly, a haunted look coming to her eyes that the others knew far too well. “Two by two,” she said, pointing out a second ship close to the first, “hands of blue.”

Once the chant had started up, it didn’t end. Jayne wrapped his arms around River and tried to calm her. She buried her face in his chest, wanting to stop, not knowing how. Wanting it all to stop but there was no way, not until Miranda. She believed this trip might be the cure for her, the key, the cypher that made sense of all she held inside, tried to keep from spilling out in all directions. She wanted so badly for it to be true, but until they made it there, if they made it there, she must live with what she was. They all must.

“They ain’t gonna follow where we’re headed,” Mal said firmly but gently. “Ain’t got nothin’ to worry on where them fellas are concerned, little one.”

“So much more to fear,” she told him, turning out of Jayne’s arms now and facing her Captain with damp but steady eyes. “Miranda’s coming.”

* * *

Nobody knew what they expected to find when they reached the mysterious planet of Miranda. Not even River really had an idea of what she was going to see or discover. It certainly wasn’t the view that greeted them. Miles and miles of cityscape, full of row on row of the deceased. No sign of violence to speak off. No poison nor disease. It was as if everyone just laid down and gave up on livin’. In time, the crew would discover that was just exactly what had happened, at least to most.

A recording told them about the G-32 Paxilon Hydroclorate, or Pax, as folks was like to call it. Meant to calm the population of this planet and prevent mutiny and war, it had a worse effect. Most just stopped working, stopped caring, then they stopped eating, and stopped breathing. Everybody just laid down and died, or almost everybody anyhow. The larger shock was the side-effects, what happened to the tiny percentage who didn’t give into the Pax. Instead it seemed to fire something up deep within, something primal, monstrous, ugly. 

“They made ‘em,” said Jayne, staring into the same holgram as all the others, with shock and horror combined. “The gorram Reavers.”

The recording was switched off soon after. All amongst the crew had seen more than enough, before those savages ever come to tear their messenger limb from limb. A sound came out of River, something small but pained. Jayne went to her, Simon too, as she dropped to her knees.

The world was fading in and out of focus, but for the first time River understood. This was what her mind was trying to know but also trying to hide. She feared the truth and worse did not know the whole of it. Her mind battled with pieces of this secret and a hundred more, but this was the one that had haunted her. All the voices, the faces, the overwhelming pain and suffering and anger. So much blood. Now it began to fade, down to a dull roar at least, because she knew. She understood who these people were, what they were saying, why this had happened. It lifted much of the fear and confusion she had felt for far too long. It brought a clarity she had hardly dared hope to find.

River was hardly aware of her body, even as it heaved up bile and cried salty tears all over the dusty concrete. She knew they were there, her husband and her brother. Their gentle grip on her arms, quiet words of comfort, it helped, it soothed the jagged edges of her nerves, the broken shards of unwanted knowledge still trying to find their place in her mind. Breathe in, breathe out. Guh guh advised it but River already knew it was all that would help now, everything else had been said and done.

“You with us, bao bei?” asked Jayne near her ear, a hint of fear in his voice so rarely heard.

River smiled.

“I’m fine,” she told him, turning to meet his eyes.

She knew he saw it, how clear everything had become. He noticed what she said, the exact wording. She was I now, not she. She could find herself amongst the debris and rise again. She was his little woman and Simon’s mei mei. She was River in her truest form. Not perfect, never that, but better, clearer, as cured as she could be in all the strange and deadly circumstances of her life so far.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, glancing at Simon, letting him know she meant it.

The smile he offered her proved he understood. The worst was over, for now, at least. There was more to come, so much left to deal with. Some of that came down to the Captain. He looked pained when she saw him next. Confused and alarmed. Common reactions to the devastating news he just received. The world was turned on its head for all others present, for poor Kaylee, Inara, Zoe, Wash. The key to easing River’s mind destroyed all others momentarily. They lived in a world where monsters existed for so long, but to hear that humans had created those beasts and covered it up. It was too much. Overload was inevitable.

“Cannot stay” she said, loud enough to be heard. “Not a place to live, only to die.”

Mal was holding onto Inara now, the two of them supporting each other, but when he looked over the Companion’s shoulder to meet River’s eyes, he knew they was on the same page. Jayne helped his wife to her feet, her legs unsteady, but her gaze firm.

“They didn’t have the choices we do,” said Mal, gaining the attention of all. “We got a chance to not lay down and take what the Alliance threw at us.”

“Mal...” Inara began to say, but he shook his head.

“First we get out of here,” he insisted. “Everything else waits ‘til later. Wash, Kaylee, get me that message,” he urged them. “We’re taking it with us.”

“If only we could’ve got here sooner, to save these people” said Inara sadly. “It’s horrific.”

“Death is bad enough, but what them Alliance did? Hushing all this up? That’s the horrific part,” the Captain insisted. “Ain’t gonna get away with that.”

* * *

“Can’t hardly believe what happened there,” said Kaylee, her hand clasped firmly in Simon’s still. “I mean, I’m awful glad that River feels better, that it’s all kinda put her mind straight, but those people...”

“It is tragic,” Simon agreed. “I hardly know what to feel or think,” he said, looking out the galley door towards the room his sister and Jayne shared. “She can’t be cured, not a hundred percent, but I am happy for her. To think what those people suffered though. An entire planet.”

“They’ll get their justice,” said Zoe coldly. “Cap’n’s gonna see to it. Sir?” she prompted when Mal said not a word.

Since they come aboard, he really hadn’t said much. Done a whole lot of thinking, pacing, staring at the cylinder on the galley table that held the secrets of this God forsaken place, not to mention the Reavers. They held such a thing in their hands, and all the power that came with it. Question now was, what was to be done next?

“Seems to me the people in this great sprawlin’ ‘verse of ours have a right to know what the Alliance is capable of. I reckon we get this message to the Shepherd, there’s a good chance he can have that friend o’ his with the connections put it out into the black well enough.”

“Might’n’t be so easy,” said Wash with regret. “I’m just sayin’. We gotta get out of this quadrant. Right now, we got Reavers everywhere, and the second we set foot outside of the danger zone, Alliance will be on us.”

“Nobody said it had to be easy,” said Mal, shaking his head.

“We’ll make it,” said River, emerging into the room with Jayne right behind her.

She had gone to rest at Simon’s insistence, but it had been a foolish idea. Until their mission was complete, River’s peace was similarly lacking finality. 

“You sure on that, little woman?” asked Jayne, a hand at her shoulder.

She smiled a little at the gentle touch, but the look didn’t last long, not in a moment like this one. Her eyes were locked onto her Captain’s own even as she answered her husband’s question.

“Yes. We’ll make it,” she promised. “No other choice.”


	26. Chapter 26

The calm had returned to her since they got back aboard the ship. Serenity sure did live up to its name where she was concerned, or so Jayne thought. His little woman had a peace about her more often than not since they headed out into the black. Osiris and the house she grew up in weren’t no comfort nor use to River. Folks that ought to love her had made her as scared and messed up as she had been when Jayne first met River. Things was different now.

Serenity started the change, but Miranda finished it. She was still his bao bei, no doubts about that. Jayne knew when she smiled at him a while back that every bit of the River he knew was still right there inside, but it was kinda like a fog got lifted out of her eyes, or her head, or somethin’. Jayne couldn’t make an explanation for it. Even the doc couldn’t manage that, so he figured he weren’t bein’ so dumb if that were the case. Seemed to him even River weren’t altogether sure what had happened in that brain-pan o’ hers, only that she had answers she needed now.

“Key to the puzzle,” she had said by way of explanation when Mal asked about it. “Pieces were floating, twisting, didn’t fit as they should. Miranda was the cypher, decrypted the code. I understand now.”

The fact she even used the right words proved more to the crew than any other thing out of her mouth so far. I where she would say she before. River was all of herself now, not so many bits of other folk, least that was how Jayne thought of it. He figured when all this was over, she’d prob’ly explain it better, but for now he didn’t care much. His little woman was doin’ better. A whole barrel load of better. Plus they had intel such that’d blow holes in the Alliance, and that was a shiny piece o’ news to Jayne’s mind too. Mal sure seemed awful determined to have the entire ‘verse know about Miranda, and plans was fast made to have it sent out into every quadrant just as soon as they could. First came the problem of gettin’ past way too many Reaver ships and past the Alliance that was waitin’ for them outside of the ass-end o’ space.

“He doesn’t know,” said River, standing suddenly from her seat.

They’d been sat at the galley table, the two of them plus Simon, Kaylee, and Inara. Nobody could settle to any activity or rest until they all knew they were safe. The bridge would be too crowded if they were all there. Only Wash, Zoe, and Mal were permitted, the others hanging back, trying to process all they had seen, make plans for what might yet be to come. At least that was what was happening until River moved.

“Who doesn’t know what, sweetheart?” Inara asked her.

“He doesn’t know the way,” River replied, eyes on nothing a moment before suddenly snapping into focus. “I can help.”

She headed for the bridge and Jayne went to go after her. Simon stood too, stopping short when he felt a hand on his arm.

“Cap’n asked us to stay here,” said Kaylee, a pleading in her eyes when the doctor looked back at her.

She wasn’t saying that just to be a goody-goody and play by the rules. Truth to say, she just didn’t want Simon anywhere but at her side right now. Kaylee was tough enough for the black, that much they both knew, but the horror they had seen and heard today, the drama that had been and what was still to come, it was too much.

“I’m not going anywhere, Kaylee,” he promised her, dropping back into his seat and wrapping his arms around her.

It was more than his not leaving the table now. It was what the future held. They could lose each other yet if some terrible fate beheld them. The Reavers, the Alliance, they faced enemies outnumbered yet, and there was no guarantee of survival. Beyond that, nobody knew that the future held. Perhaps Kaylee was wondering if Simon would even stay aboard now that River was better, after the truth being out meant they had nothing left to fear from the authorities.

Inara spoke softly of making more tea and slipped away from the table, as much to give the couple privacy as to keep herself busy. If she were able, Inara knew she would be clinging to Mal right now, as Kaylee clung to Simon, for more than one reason that she was not sure she could put into words if asked. Luckily, her friends did not seem to have such troubles, and she smiled as she overheard a little of their conversation.

“None of this changes what I feel about you,” Simon promised Kaylee. “I don’t know what the future holds, but I would like to think that if I have a life to live, that life would have you in it.”

“Ain’t plannin’ on bein’ without ya if’n I can help it at all,” she replied, her hand to his face. “I know I ain’t the kinda girl you prob’ly saw yourself makin’ a life with-”

“Kaylee, none of what has happened this past year and more is anything like I imagined my life to be,” he assured her with a smile, “and yet, I can’t imagine being happier with any other person in any other place.”

When they kissed, Inara kept her back turned and then side-stepped quickly towards the door. She ran completely into Mal, losing her poise and grace in that moment and almost collapsing into his arms that shot out to catch her and set her right.

“Hey, you okay there?” he checked. “’Nara?” he tried again, encouraging her to look his way when she seemed to wanna do everything but that.

“I’m fine,” she assured him. “Well, not fine. Knowing what surrounds us and what awaits us, how could I be?” she asked with a shudder she could not surpress. “I would be more worried about myself if I were fine in a moment such as this.”

When she looked up then and met his eyes, Mal wondered just exactly what they were talking about. Unfortunately, now weren’t no time to wonder on it much. Adventure weren’t over yet, and the endin’ was as like not to be pretty if they didn’t get this right.

“Got a need of your shuttle and your good self, if you could stand the mission,” he told her then.

“Mission?” Inara echoed. “I don’t understand.”

Mal smiled then, reaching for Inara’s hand and bringing her to the bridge.

“Little River here has herself a plan. You won’t believe it ‘til you hear it.”

* * *

There wasn’t one amongst the crew that hadn’t been overwhelmed by her abilities, her brain, the very fact of her before today. Now it was different. They were just as over-awed by her, River knew, and they were just as scared, fearful of what they couldn’t understand, but at least now one above all knew that everything was going to be alright, and that was River herself.

The jumble in her mind was clearing. She wondered if all the pieces would ever truly settle. There would always be bits that didn’t fit, conundrums that even her advanced mind could not quite solve, but it was better. It was not enough to drive her to madness anymore. There was an amount of control that she had now, something she hadn’t felt in too long and revelled in now, even as danger swirled around her home and family. She knew, above all else, that they would be safe, so long as she kept her wits about her. So long as she put her faith in Mal, and he put his faith in himself and those around him. So long as Wash listened when she advised him of things he could not understand.

“Should I even ask how you suddenly know more about piloting a spaceship than I do?” he asked, glancing her way just for a moment before his full attention was pulled back to the view ahead.

“I don’t,” said River, unable to keep from smiling. “But I see a version of what comes next. Not good for you.” she shuddered inspite of the look on her face, confusing all, but River was used to that. Wash at least accepted her words and her advice. Flew them safely through Reaver-infested space and out the other side. It didn’t scare her, didn’t even make her flinch at all, save for the frightening scene she encountered in her mind, a picture of what might have been. She glanced at Zoe when it faded from her brain and smiled slowly.

“All’s right with the ‘verse.”

“Wouldn’t go that far, little one,” said the second with a grim look. “More than one enemy in play today.”

“And what a game we’ll play,” said River, still standing tall.

“You sure on this, bao bei?” asked Jayne, hovering behind her. “Ain’t so certain myownself that this is where we wanna be right now.”

“Very sure,” River confirmed. “Have faith.”

* * *

The Alliance ship hailed them, they knew it would, and instead of running, Mal instructed Wash to do as River advised and head straight towards the enemy. They latched on and the air lock was opened. For the first time ever, Jayne stood by and watched as the Hands of Blue were invited in rather than turned away. As much as he trusted his wife to know what she was doin’, this didn’t sit right with him. The gun in the back of his waistband weren’t as much comfort as he’d like. Nor was the calm sittin’ on her face. Sure’n his bao bei was a Reader and all. She’d know first if this whole thing was gonna go south, but that didn’t mean she knew everything. Nobody was that good. Even as he thought it, he saw her look his way and smile some. She knew what he was thinkin’ and she didn’t mind none. Fear come natural on days like this, even for the toughest of men.

“To meet our fate,” said River, more to herself than to anybody.

It suprised even her that she wasn’t more concerned about it. After so long being so terrified of everything, including her own shadow, now she looked upon those who would torment her and no worry pulled at her mind, nothing told her to run, to hide, not even to fight.

“Mei mei?” said Simon softly, looking pale.

“It’s alright,” she assured him. “Nothing to fear anymore.”

River stepped up close to Mal who stood firm before his crew, ready to face whatever come next. Jayne and Simon, with Kaylee by his side, crowded in close, along with Zoe and Wash. They were a united front, though against quite what enemy, they weren’t too sure. The Alliance soldiers in their protective gear, carrying blasters, they was familiar, but these two fancified men in suits with ‘hands as blue’ as River described more’n enough times, they was a whole other thing to face.

“Captain Reynolds,” said the one of them, with a smile that no man should oughta trust. “We meet at last.”

“Seems that way,” said Mal, nodding once. “Seems to me you been chasin’ members of my crew a whole spell longer than you been lookin’ to meet me.”

“Yes, that is true,” said the other man, eyes wandering to River.

Jayne’s hand was on her shoulder in a heart-beat. To the end, he was her protector and they all knew that. The Hands of Blue both smiled, shared a look nobody else much cared for.

“You know how this ends, don’t you?”

“I surely do,” Mal said, smiling just the same. “See, I know the secret now. The truth that burned up River Tam’s brain and set you after her,” he said, tilting his head towards his young charge. “And the rest of the ‘verse is gonna know it too. Cause they need to. Message is already on its way to someplace special. The whole o’ mankind’ll know it soon enough. Ain’t worth chasin’ us no more.”

Inara had left on the shuttle, shortly before they were close enough to the Alliance ships to be detected when she detached. With her, she took the cylinder from Miranda, the recorded message that’d tell anyone who saw it what happened there, what the Alliance had done, how the Reavers come to be. She would deliver it to Book and onto his friend who would make sure the whole of the ‘verse got to know the truth, and that’d be an end to River’s torment and pain. ‘Course, it’d be the start of a whole other chain reaction, the like of which Mal could hardly quantify, but he didn’t care much about that.

“You believe in what you have done?” said one of the men. “That it is for the greater good?”

“I do,” Mal agreed, holding firm.

“And you are willing to die for that belief?”

The words weren’t hardly out of the fella’s mouth afore he had some creep ass looking device in his hand. Jayne didn’t wait more’n a second to find out what it was for. His gun was in his hand and a bullet was in the other man’s head as fast as blinking.

It wasn’t much of a fight. Simon dragged Kaylee to safety as River dodged bullets, pulled the knife from the sheath at her leg and threw it expertly into the enemy. Jayne, Mal, Zoe, even Wash fired off simultaneously, cutting down Alliance men where they stood. Somehow amongst the furore of bullets and carnage, one of the Hands of Blue found sanctuary in a corner of the cargo bay. He reached into his pocket, not for a gun, but for something far worse, River knew.

“No!” she yelled, racing to him.

Kicking out, she knocked the dangerous device from his hand, sending it skittering across the floor. The danger was gone, and yet she fought on. Something took her over, nothing like the madness she had known before, instead the perfect clarity fuelled her anger and pain. She knew who had done this to her, that she had suffered because of people like this. Not this man specifically perhaps, but those like him. They caused so much suffering, so much darkness. Now she saw the light, in herself, in the eyes of her enemy, which she could crush, crushing, squeezing the life...

“River!”

Jayne’s voice cut through the buzzing of her own anger, pulled her up sharply. For just a moment she had lost herself again, in a new way, but it was no better. The violence took her mind and body, swallowed her whole. She wanted to cause pain, even death, to bring upon her enemies what they had tried to bring to her and her people. It was no good. To make herself as they were, it was not righteous, it was not needed.

As River’s eyes and ears focused on the ship around her, she loosened her grip, fingers sliding from the throat of her victim. The man with hands of blue fell to the ground gasping, as Jayne pulled River to him. Zoe stood over the man with her Mare’s Leg trained. All others were slain, this fella probably wasn’t much to worry on, but she weren’t about to take any chances, not today.

Mal walked over to the device the man has dropped, crushing it under his heel. Wash picked up the other one, gave it a look, then placed it back on the ground, following the Captain’s lead. They looked to each other and nodded, job done. It had been a hell of a day, but they might just have come through it alright yet.

“We need to clean this mess up,” said Mal, “get ourselves outta here.”

Though no word was spoken, the whole of the crew seemed to agree.

Wash moved towards the stairs, headed back to the bridge. Mal turned to speak with Zoe, as Simon and Kaylee came forward now, to check on River and Jayne as much as anything it seemed. 

A noise more than gasping suddenly came out of the man on the ground, the only one from the Alliance ship still alive as yet.

“You think you’ve won?” he asked, almost laughing through his half-crushed windpipe. “You have no idea what you’ve done!”

He was looking the wrong way, never saw the fist come flying until it was too late. His head hit the deck with a satisfying crack as Simon righted himself, shaking his hand that hurt like hell.

“Ai ya!” he exclaimed.

Mal smirked at the doctor’s sudden act of violence.

“Y’know, son, they tell ya, never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion hilarious.”

“Yes. I’m quite delirious with laughter,” Simon dead-panned, though a smile broke through before long.

Jayne wasn’t watching at all. He pulled back to see River’s face, almost afraid of what he might find in her eyes. Her body shook still, tears streaking down her cheeks, but she was with him, she saw clearly now, and she was gonna be alright.

“You with me, little woman?” he checked, just to be absolutely sre.

“Always,” she told him, nodding her head. “Always with you,” she said with a smile. “Forever.”


	27. Chapter 27

Time was strange. River had always thought so, and never more so than now. There were day cycles aboard Serenity that seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Sometimes weeks appeared to have the length of four as they passed by slow as molasses. When she thought of her past, River could scarce believe she had only been gone from her home about a year. Three hundred and eighty four days to be exact, but she was the only one counting anymore, and then only because it was difficult not to. Osiris, the Tam family estate, fancy dresses and lowly servants, it all seemed a hundred years ago. River Tam had fallen asleep, like the princess who pricked her finger on a spinning wheel. The needles were sharp and took her under, deep, deep into the void. A kiss from the most unlikely prince awoke her senses, and he showed her a whole new world. In that world, the princess found a family, a life, and the answers she needed to end the last of her sleep and the madness that came with it. Peace was upon her now, and though she had fallen from princess to pauper in terms of societies status rules, River Cobb felt she was the richest woman in the whole of the ‘verse.

It was not the way she pictured her life to be, but then River considered she never could conjure up a completely clear scene when she thought of the future, not until very recently. Certainly this was a million miles away from what her life ought to give been, or more accurately, a couple of hundred light years from the place she was born. When it came to finding a place to settle, they could have gone back now, if not to Osiris then at least to some place more civilised, closer to the Core. It was not what River wanted and she knew for sure it would never suit her husband. Where he went, she followed. After all, he had walked in her shadow long enough, catching her when she stumbled, standing by her when most everything else fell away.

Now there was a family that visited, and a house to call their own. A village nearby with neighbours who cared but didn't ask too many questions. Adventures were less, but work was enough. For once there was time to relax and enjoy, and that mattered now more than ever. Food came from the land, and extra coin from work Jayne gained from others - odd jobs, heavy lifting, a little security. All of a few weeks since Miranda, and life had new meaning. A new beginning in a brave new world that knew the truth of what surrounded them, what governed them. Out in the black, closer to the Rim, River felt completely ungoverned, more free than she ever had in all her days, and in more safety and security than even dear Serenity could provide.

Some days she missed the home she had made out in the black. Missed guh guh and Kaylee, Captain Daddy and Inara, Wash and Zoe, Shepherd Book, but they were never too far away. Visits were possible, waves were sent. Nobody had to be alone. River found herself happy, satisfied, content with Jayne alone, and yet there would be another.

“Going to be perfectly imperfect,” she said, a hand at her stomach that was flat yet through the thin cotton of her dress. “Half mommy, half daddy... Perhaps a little more mommy,” she considered with a smile.

“What you sayin’ there, bao bei?” asked Jayne, stepping up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Soon be more to love,” she told him, facing into the warm western breeze that blew her hair and her dress back. “More to take care of,” she continued, leaning comfortably into her husband’s embrace. “Two little women, in time,” she said, looking back at him with a wide smile.

Jayne looked shocked a moment and then he smiled too, pulling River around in his arms and kissing her soundly. Never had thought that this was how his life was gonna turn out, but he wouldn’t change it for nothin’ in this whole ‘verse, that was for gorram sure.


End file.
